The Way I Loved You
by taylor519
Summary: Steve's cousin moves to town and isn't prepared for the violent, wild side of Tulsa. But, a certain hood can help her adjust. Read and Review please!
1. Chapter 1 Not Myself Tonight

_Disclaimer: I don't own the outsiders, I only wish I did. They belong to S.E Hinton._

Chapter One-Not Myself Tonight

_I'm dancing a lot and I'm taking shots I'm feeling fine  
>I'm kissing all the boys and the girls<br>Someone call the doctor cause I lost my mind_

_Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do_  
><em>The old me's gone I feel brand new<em>  
><em>And if you don't like it fuck you<em>

_The music's on and I'm dancing_  
><em>I'm normally in the corner just standing<em>  
><em>I'm feeling unusual<em>  
><em>I don't care cause this is my night<em>

My name is Stacy Randle. I am Steve Randle's cousin, and I live in the country. I do not like it there. There's no action and nothing to do. I haven't been to Tulsa to visit Steve since I was young because my parents have always told me I would get into too much trouble there. I believe them, too. I like trouble. Even in the country, where there is nothing anywhere except grass and cows, I manage to get into trouble. Never anything big, just pranks and things like that. I've never done something big enough to get arrested or anything, just big enough to get grounded.

One year ago, my father left us. He had been having an affair and decided to leave us for the other family. I cried myself to sleep for months, hoping he would come back. He hasn't though, and I don't think he will. My mother took it really hard, and she clung to me a lot. Money is tight now though, since my mother can't bring in enough money for both of us. I suggested I go stay with Steve for a while. She was really reluctant to let me go, because she said I would get into too much trouble and she would miss me too much, but I wore her down. She really needs the extra money, and while I'll miss her too, I can't wait to be on my own in the city.

It was Saturday morning, and I had my bags packed and was ready to go. I came down the stairs slowly, sad that I was leaving and went into the kitchen. My mother and I ate lunch together, we didn't say very much though. I would miss her badly, and didn't want to talk too much in case I ended up crying. After we ate, I gave her a long hug and she kissed my forehead.

"Goodbye, baby. I'll come visit soon." She told me, and I was starting to bawl, so I hugged her again and said goodbye. Then I turned and left, hopping into my beat-up old red pickup truck and starting it up. I'm 16, so I just got my licence this year. I haven't driven this far before though. With one last look at my house I drove off, towards Tulsa.

When I got to Steve's house, it was quiet. It was already getting dark outside, and I stretched from the long car ride. I knocked at the door and after a few minutes it swung open.

"Hi, Aunt Ella!" I said, smiling. She looked the same as I remember her, short with dark hair and eyes and a light complexion. She was different though, she looked worn out, tired. She was wearing an apron and smiled when she saw me.

"Stacy, come on in! There's a room upstairs for you, it's the first door on the left," she told me, inviting me in. I dragged my suitcase up the stairs and into the room. It was small, but cozy. There was one window and a single-sized bed pressed up against the wall. On the opposite side of the room was a dresser with a mirror above it. It was simple, but I liked it. I unpacked my things and slid my bag under my bed. Then I went back downstairs.

"Hey, so where is everyone?" I asked Aunt Ella. By everyone, I meant Steve. I figured since he was the same age as me he would be able to show me what people do in this town for fun. She only shrugged and told me they were around town. I stayed in the kitchen, talking with her for a while, but soon enough I got bored. I don't like just sitting around the house; I have to be out doing something. So, I decided to find something to do on my own.

I went upstairs and changed out of my sweatpants. I put on short-shorts and a white button-up shirt. I combed out my curly black hair and headed downstairs. I screamed to Aunt Ella that I was going out and only got a wave for a reply. Wow, if that's what living here is going to be like, I never want to leave.

I walked around, looking for something to do. I turned down one street, then the next. I didn't really know where I was going, but I figured it would be better than sitting around in my room. I turned onto one street and heard loud music playing. I smiled, hoping it would be a party. I followed the music and sure enough, came to a two-story building with people all over it and music blasting.

I walk confidently up to the front door and strode in. I knew no one knew me, but didn't care. There aren't many parties back where I lived, but whenever there was one, I was always center of attention. I loved dancing and drinking and just loosing myself in the fun. It didn't matter who I knew there, by the end of the night, everyone knew me.

I walked up to the bar and asked for a beer. The man who handed it to me was obviously a lot older, and was missing his front teeth.

"You new? Haven't seen you around here much, darlin'" he drawled. I took to drink from him, told him I was new and turned around. Not my type. At all. He took the hint and went off to hit on someone else.

I had a couple drinks and watched the party, feeling myself get lighter and freer. A couple guys hit on me, but I blew them off. There really seemed to be slim pickings tonight when it came to guys. I decided I was bored of just sitting there and got up to dance. I didn't dance on the floor though; I danced up on the table. I could see I was attracting a crowd, of guys mostly, but ignored them and kept dancing. I loved dancing, swaying with the music. I was pretty good at it too.

After a couple songs, the crowd had begun to cheer me on, hollering and grinning at me. I'll admit, I was getting a little bit slutty, but in my defence I was pretty tipsy. I ended up doing a couple shots then falling off the table. I hit the ground and was stunned at first, then realized (thanks to the alcohol) that it didn't hurt. I jumped back up onto my feet smiling.

"That's going to hurt tomorrow," I said, shrugging it off to the few people who were looking at me concerned. I just laughed and ordered another shot.

After downing in, I felt breath on my neck and knew there was a guy standing behind me. I stood still and slowly turned my head to look up at him from the side. He had blond hair and blue eyes and sharp facial features. Normally, he wouldn't be considered my type, but there was something about him that made him seem different. Maybe it was the way he was looking at me, or maybe it was the way people seemed to look at him, but it was intriguing-almost dangerous. I gave him a sly smile as I looked up at him from under my eyelashes.

"Hi," I said. He smirked at me.

"You're a pretty good dancer," he said to me, still smirking, "until you end up on the floor."

I laughed. If you can't laugh at yourself people can only laugh at you. "Well, I'm going to dance again, maybe this time you could come with me and keep me from falling?" I said, putting my hand on his chest.

"I don't dance." He told me. Any other guy who would have said that I would've convinced him to dance anyways, and told him how much fun it is. But not this guy. He said it in a way that I knew there would be no arguing. If he didn't want to dance, he wouldn't dance.

"What do you do then?" I asked, keeping the conversation going.

He smirked again then roughly pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around me so I was pushed against him. It took me off guard, I wasn't expecting it. It was good though. When he pulled away we were breathing hard. I met his eyes then looked down at his collarbone, tracing it lightly with my finger.

"What you do that for?" I asked, still out of breath.

"I wanted to." He said to me. I looked up and kissed him again, this time kissing back more passionately.

He took his arms from around me and grabbed my hand. "Come with me." He said. And I did. I never do things like this, maybe it was the alcohol. I knew it wasn't though, I was thinking clearly enough to be able to say no if I wanted. But my gut was saying yes. And I always go with what my gut says, it's probably why I always get into trouble.

He led me to a stairway, but before we went up he kissed me again. This time, he pinned me against the wall. I grabbed onto his hair, pulling him closer to me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pushed against me and I moaned into his mouth, grabbing his hair tighter.

I heard someone yell in the distance, but my mind was racing. My heart was racing. Everything around me existed of him, and only him. I was so wrapped up I didn't realize what was going on when it stopped suddenly and I found myself sitting on the ground, with my back to the same wall.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

** So, yes, it's another OC story. I hope you guys will enjoy it! It's kind of based on the song 'The Way I Loved You,' by Taylor Swift, which is why I titled it that. I'm going to try to find a song to name each chapter after too. I know, it's kind of a slow start, but most stories are, I promise it's going to get better. By the way, the events of the book do not happen in this story, but the Curtis parents are dead and Johnny has already gotten jumped by the socs. Anyways, review please! I promise to be updating soon!**


	2. Chapter 2 Hold It Against Me

Chapter Two-Hold it Against Me

_If I said my heart was beating loud,  
>If we could escape the crowd somehow,<br>If I said I want your body now,  
>Would you hold it against me?<em>

I looked up, wondering why my guy had been yanked away from me. That's when I realize he's cursing at someone else. The guy he's yelling at has curly dark hair and I recognize him immediately. Momentarily forgetting about the fact I was just making out with someone, I hop up, excited to see my cousin.

"Hey, Steve!" I said cheerfully. He turned his attention away from the other guy and looked at me. His eyes were angry, and I took a step back at the sight of them. I never saw him that mad before.

"You know each other?" The guy I was making out with asked surprised, but the anger was still in his voice. Steve's eyes widened with realization, but didn't soften.

"She's my cousin, you ass!" He yelled at the other guy. I expected the guy to hit him-he sure looked like he wanted to. He didn't though; he just looked back at me, studying me more closely. I looked around nervously, not liking being watched so closely. I realized we had attracted a crowd. Not a big one, but the people near us were staring.

Finally, the guy's eyes widened, "Stacy?" He asked, surprised it was me. I looked at him confused. He knew me? Now that I thought about it he did look kind of familiar.

"Yeah, duh." Steve said, still angry.

"Steve, I really didn't know," the guy said, a sincere voice. Steve seemed to loosen up, I was glad too, because if they were to fight I seriously doubt that Steve would win. I mean, Steve looks pretty strong, but the other guy was defiantly older, and just by looking at him you knew he was not someone you would want to fight.

"Okay, who _are_ you?" I asked, unable to try to guess anymore. Steve rolled his eyes at me; I might have slurred those last words. It's not good to be involved in drama like this when you're this drunk.

"Dallas Winston," He introduced himself. Then I remembered him. Looking at him now, I don't know how I didn't recognize him. I gasped and covered my mouth. He was one of Steve's buddies. I felt bad then, I understood why Steve was so angry. I can imagine how he felt showing up at a party to find his favourite cousin pressed up against a wall by one of his close friends.

"Steve, I'm sorry!" I said, hoping he wasn't too angry at me. Steve can hold a grudge. For a long time. He sighed and came over to me. He put his hand on the small of my back and turned me towards the door.

"Let's just go. Dal, find yourself someone else for tonight," he said, pushing me lightly away from there.

I didn't like it when he said that though. He just told Dally to go off and find some other girl for tonight. Like I was no different from any other girl there. He just told Dally to go find some other girl to take my place, replace me. I frowned at the thought of Dally all over someone else. He was a really good kisser, and I wanted him kissing _me_.

Steve had to push me a little harder to get me to keep moving. I was staring at Dally, wanting to stay. I know it's wrong, I know he's Steve's friend and, from what I've heard, a pretty dangerous hood. But I didn't care. I wanted to stay here and kiss him some more. I kept looking at him and he looked right back at me. I couldn't read the look on his face though. Finally he disappeared behind people's heads and I left with Steve.

Steve was really nice to me. Helping me up the stairs and to my room. I was feeling dizzy from the booze and laughing at everything around me. As soon as I was in bed, I passed out.

I woke up with a pounding headache. The house was quiet, and I was thankful for that. After a couple minutes of lying on my bed in pain, I decided to get up. I went downstairs and found aspirin and cereal in the cupboards.

While I was eating, Steve came in and sat across from me.

* * *

><p>"Morning!" He purposefully said it too loudly. I groaned and dropped my head in my hands. He snickered at me and asked, "You remember much from last night?"<p>

I thought about it. Yes, I didn't remember walking home, but I remembered Dallas. His hands on me. His mouth on mine. My back against the wall. I remembered it all too clearly. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the thoughts. "Not too much," I lied to Steve.

"You remember Dally?" He asked, a hint of anger touching his voice.

"Yeah."

It was awkwardly silent for a moment, before he clapped his hands together, loudly. "Well, want to come get re-acquainted with the gang today?" He asked, changing the topic, I was glad.

"Sure!" I told him, enthusiastically. The guys were so nice to me the last time I was here. Of course, we were all younger back then, but I was excited to see them now. I wanted to see how they had grown up.

On the way over to the Curtis', Steve filled me in on what was going on around here. He told me that Mr. And Mrs. Curtis had died in an accident. Darry had custody of the younger ones now. He worked a lot. Soda had dropped out of school, and worked with Steve at the gas station. Johnny got beat up pretty bad by the socs a couple months ago, and was kind of jumpy because of it. Other than that, not much else had changed.

I walked into their house behind Steve. I noticed he didn't bother to knock, just walked right in like he lived there. When I went inside there were a few boys on the couch, and a couple in the kitchen.

"What you make for breakfast?" Steve called in, momentarily forgetting about me at the smell of food. The guys in the living room looked up at me, not saying anything for a little while. I realized Steve wasn't going to come back and introduce me, so I spoke up.

"Hi. I'm Stacy, Steve's cousin. I met you guys when I was younger and visited, but that was a while ago. I'm going to be staying in town for a little while." I explained to them. The one who was sitting on the floor jumped up and came towards me.

"Oh! Stacy! I knew Steve couldn't pull off picking up something gorgeous as yourself!" He said, coming over to me with a goofy grin. I crinkled my nose at that thought. Ew.

"Two-Bit, don't even think about it! Do not touch her." Steve warned through a full mouth as he came back into the room.

"I know, I know. That's Dally's job right?" Two-Bit joked. He laughed out loud at his own stupid comment as Steve glared at him and I blushed. Did they all already know about that?

"How'd you know about that?" I asked him.

"I was at the party with Steve here when he stormed off. I look up and he's ready to fight Dally. So, I'm laughing to myself, thinking 'what is this guy doing, starting shit with Dallas?' Anyways I watched the whole thing go down. Man, it was better than a movie. I liked when Dally actually backed down. Didn't see that one coming, I thought Steve was going to lose some teeth, talking to Dal like that. I can't believe you were only in town for a few hours and already started something like that. I can't blame you though, I mean, with a body like that. Good job growing up by the way," Two-Bit rambled on. He talked kind of quickly, and I didn't appreciate the fact that the other guys in the room now knew exactly what had happened. But, since they didn't look too surprised, I figured they must've already known.

"Two-Bit, lay off. If you hit on her again, I'll hit _you_." Steve said, glaring again. I just laughed at him being so protective. I looked to the other boys.

"So... do you guys talk, or?" I asked them.

"I'm Ponyboy," one said, smiling at me, "and this is Johnny." Johnny still hadn't spoken, but I smiled at both of them anyways.

"Nice to meet you," I said, politely, glad someone in here wasn't hitting on me in front of Steve.

I went into the kitchen to meet the other two guys. I walked in and they looked up at me. I recognized one of them right away.

"Let me guess..." I said, "Sodapop?" I asked, looking at the handsome one. He smiled at me. To my surprise he came over to me and hugged me. I hugged him back and looked up at him. He had really grown.

"Stacy! How long are you staying?" He asked, happily. I smiled at him. He was Steve's best friend, and I knew him better than the rest of the guys. I hung around with him and Steve the most of my last trip here. I had a huge crush on him back then too, but, then again, who doesn't?

"A long time." I told him. Then I looked over at the other guy, he was just finishing up with the dishes. "So, that means you're Darry," I said when he looked at me.

"Yeah. It's nice to see you again, Stace," he said, a welcoming smile on his face. I hung around with him a lot last time too, he was real nice. They all were, but the Curtis boys were more... polite than the rest of them.

I heard the front door open and slam closed. I went back into the living room with Soda, but stopped when I saw who came in. Dally was standing in the doorway, his arm drooped around some girl.

She had hair as dark as mine, but straight, and a lot of makeup on. Her clothes didn't cover enough of her and she was chewing loudly on her gum. I couldn't help but hope she wasn't around to stay.

Dally paused when he saw me, then smirked. It was a mocking smirk, and it infuriated me. What gives him the right to come in here, mocking and laughing at me, just because I had a little too much to drink and a good time? But thinking about that only made me want him to kiss me again, which made me even angrier.

I stopped looking at him and sat between Two-Bit and Johnny on the couch.

"Hey, Dal. New girl already?" Two-Bit asked, making me clench my teeth together.

The girl with Dally glared at him. "Funny. Two-Bit, why don't you learn to keep your mouth shut," she told him. Wow, she seems real nice.

"As soon as you learn to do the same with your legs, Sylvia." Two-Bit replied, grinning. I had to grin too, that was a good one. Apparently, Dally didn't think so. He smacked Two-Bit on the side of the head.

"Watch your mouth. Were back together." Dally defended his girl. I crossed my arms and tried to ignore him.

"Awe!" Two-Bit said, overly exaggerated. I was glad he was there to make fun of them. It lightened the situation up a little. Dally gave him a glare and that shut him up, but he was still smiling.

"Yeah, we made up last night!" Sylvia said, holding up her hand with a big ring on it. Last night. Last night Dally was with me. I couldn't help but think that if Steve hadn't interrupted maybe I could've been the one wearing his ring. I could be his girl. I pushed that thought out of my mind. No. I can't think like that. He's Steve's friend. That's all. Just Steve's friend... who happens to be a really good kisser and have the ability to make my skin tingle with one touch.

I looked up at the couple again and quickly looked away.

"Want to go for a walk?" Soda asked into my ear. I jumped up.

"Sure, let's go!" I said, way too eager to get out of there. The rest of the guys in the room looked at me strangely, not having heard Soda's question.

"We're going to go for a walk," Soda explained, standing next to me.

I brushed past Dally on my way out. I felt my arm hit his and almost paused. Instead, I just walked faster, trying to ignore the jolt I got just being close to him. I wondered if he felt it too. Probably not.

I was outside and accompanied by Soda quickly.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Sooo... I didn't get any reviews on my last chapter :( . But, the fact that one person added me to their alerts makes writing this all worth while! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Anyways, I know that this was kind of a slow chapter again, but the story is only begining, I got to lay the ground work, ahaha. It will get much more interesting! I hope you like it. I'll update again soon! Review please, people!**


	3. Chapter 3 If Your Girl Only Knew

Chapter Three-If Your Girl Only Knew

_If your girl only knew That you was trying to get with me (what would she do)  
>She's crazy to put up with you<br>Oh boy I won't be no fool  
>Let you like what you see<br>It ain't easy to get with me  
>But it's dumb to put up with you<em>

"So, how's everything been with you?" Soda asked me as we walked down the street.

"Uh... alright," I said, thinking about my father running off and my mother working extra hard and me having to move here with Steve just so we don't go poor. "What about you?"

"Same as you. Pony and Darry fight a lot now though, after the accident. You already know right?" I nodded, not wanting to make him tell me about his parent's death. "So why you staying for so long? Just bored of the country?" He teased. We came to a park and sat down on a bench.

"Well, that's part of it," I said, laughing along with him.

"Why else?" He asked, knowing there was more. I considered not telling him. I haven't told anyone yet. But he looked really understanding, and I found that my words flowed freely around him.

"Well... my dad ran out on us. He was cheating on my mom, and when his 'girlfriend'-" I spat the word out, "-got pregnant, he chose her over us." I said, feeling my anger rise inside of me. "He's just a low-down, piece of-" I cut myself off, realizing cursing won't make things any better. It won't make him come back.

I hadn't realized it but Soda was rubbing my back affectionately. It calmed me down a lot.

"Sorry," I apologized for my outburst. "It's just... different, you know?" He nodded and I knew he did. He lost both his parents, rather than just one. The difference was that mine left by choice, his were taken from him. I wondered which way was better.

"You know, sometimes I think my parents are still here. Like, I'll wake up real early and still be half asleep and expect to hear Mom humming in the kitchen," he sighed, and I grabbed his hand to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Soda." It was all I could say. He smiled at me and stood up, pulling me up by the hand.

"Come on, let's go back," he said, and he was back to normal-dancing eyes and a smile. I smiled back at him, then realized we were still holding hands and let go, blushing. He just grinned wider.

"So... does Steve know about why you're staying here?" Soda asked casually on the walk back.

"No. I didn't tell him. I think my Mom might have told his parents, but I don't know if he knows." I told him. He nodded, and we were silent for a little while.

I looked over at him. He sure was handsome. I remembered how obsessed I used to be with him the last time I was here. I would smile just being near him and every time I went out I would ask Steve if Soda would be there. I laughed to myself at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Soda asked, smiling himself.

"You know, the last time I was here I had a huge crush on you," I confessed to him. No harm in telling him now, that was years ago.

"Oh, I knew you did!" He said.

"Really, how?" I asked.

"Ha! Are you kidding me? You followed me around everywhere. You would blush and giggle whenever I came near you," he teased.

"Soda! I was not that bad!" I said, embarrassed. He just laughed.

"Yeah, you were. It's okay though, you're cute when you blush." He told me, making me blush at his compliment. "See!" He said, making me go redder.

"Stop it! I hate it when I blush," I said, as we got back to the house.

We walked in laughing, and sat down on the couch. Dally and Sylvia were gone, I couldn't help but notice. Darry was gone too; I guess he went to work or something. I hung around with the gang for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>I was quickly accepted into their little group. For the next few weeks I spent almost every day at the Curtis'. Me and Soda were pretty tight-again. He was my best friend out of all of them, but nothing more. I avoided Dally as much as I could. I didn't care if it seemed rude to him, he was worse than me. He would always smirk at me and look me up and down, like he knew some sort of secret of mine. I wanted to knock him out when he looked at me like that; it just got under my skin. Then the anger would dissolve instantly when I met his eyes and saw his mouth and I would have to leave the room for fear of him figuring out why I was staring.<p>

One afternoon, I was sitting with Steve, as usual, at Soda's house. We were waiting for Soda to be ready so they could go to work. I was going to go with them, considering I was up earlier than usual and they would chat with me while they worked. I didn't really want to go; there just wasn't anything better to do.

Soda came bouncing down the steps and ran into the kitchen.

"I'm almost ready!" Soda yelled at us as he went through the fridge. Finding what he wanted, he stood up, biting into an apple."Okay, let's go!"

Me and Steve stood up, and Soda looked at me. "You coming too?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Nothing better to do," I told him. He bit into the apple again then smiled.

"Well, Ponyboy just woke up, I think Johnny and him are going to do something with Two-Bit today, you can hang around here if you want," he told me. I smiled at the idea of not having to spend the day in a crummy gas station.

"Soda, you trying to get rid of me?" I asked, teasing him, but sitting back down.

"Well, there's only so much of you I can take," he joked back, and I pushed him playfully.

"Oh, shut up and get to work," I said, grinning despite myself. He headed out the door with Steve.

I went into the kitchen looking for something to munch on. Ponyboy sure was taking his sweet time. I heard the front door slam shut as I was raiding their cupboards. "In here!" I shouted, absent mindedly.

"Hungry?" A deep voice asked from behind me. I jumped at the sound of it; he had walked into the kitchen soundlessly. I turned around to face Dally, standing closer than I expected and eating cereal out of the box. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that," I said, snatching the box from him and grabbing a handful of cereal.

"And why not?" He asked, as I popped a few pieces into my mouth.

"'Cause you never know when someone's going to hit you on reflex." I said, matter of factly. He just laughed at me and stepped closer. Too close. I tensed up as I thought back to that night. I saw the muscles in his arms and chest and tried to advert my eyes.

"I can handle myself." He said, in his deep voice. I looked up and met his eyes. They were cold blue, hard and firm. I got lost in them, and didn't realize what was happening until I felt his body press against mine. His mouth pressed to my own, forcefully. My back was to the counter, but I forgot where I was. All I knew was Dally. He filled all my senses and everything around me. I dropped the cereal in my hand and grabbed his shirt, trying to pull him even closer-as if that were possible.

When I thought I would pass out from not breathing, Dally finally broke his mouth off mine. I gasped but his lips were soon on my neck, kissing their way downwards. I ran my fingers through his hair and moaned as I opened my eyes a little bit.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Ponyboy. He had obviously just woken up. His hair was dishevelled. He was staring at us and his jaw was dropped. I quickly pushed Dally backwards and he stumbled a little bit.

"What the hell?" Dally asked angrily. Then he followed my gaze. Ponyboy quickly composed himself with Dally looking. He looked a little embarrassed, but Dally just looked at him.

"Hey, Dal," Ponyboy said, nervously. Dally stopped staring and looked back to me. Then we all started doing something at the same time. Dally started putting the cereal away, I picked up what I had dropped on the floor and Ponyboy started getting out things to cook with. "You guys... uh... want food?" He asked weakly, still a little embarrassed.

"Yeah," I said at the same time as Dally. We were quiet for a little bit as Pony cooked.

"So, Dal," Ponyboy broke the awkward silence, "you and Sylvia are done then I guess?" He asked it casually, just making conversation. Shit. I forgot about Sylvia. My head snapped up to look at Dally, and to notice his ring was still off his finger. Dally saw me glaring at him and gave Pony a nasty look as he handed us our food.

"What?" Ponyboy asked innocently. Then his eyes went wide at Dally's ring-less finger. "Oh! Dal I'm sor-" He said, but before he could say anymore I cut him off.

"You pig! You disgusting, horrible, horrible, pig! You're still dating Sylvia! What the hell are you doing shoving your tongue down my throat while you have a girlfriend?" I yelled at Dally, jumping up. His eyes turned cold at me yelling at him.

"Don't blame this on me, babe. You're the one that wanted it." He said, coolly. I could hear the tinge of anger in his voice though.

"What!" I shouted incredulously. I never wanted him to cheat on his girl, even if she was a bitch. Dally just laughed at me, and Ponyboy looked really uncomfortable. "You know what? Don't ever touch me again! Don't ever come near me again, Dallas Winston! You disgust me!" I screamed, starting to storm out. He grabbed my arm as I walked past him though.

"You don't really mean that," he said mockingly. I clenched my fists, angry that he was laughing about this, and angry that he was right. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and stormed out the door, slamming it as I left.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Thank you guys for the reviews! Glad you're enjoying it! Kepp reviewing, I love to know your thoughts on each chapter or what you hope will happen, ect. ect. I'll update again soon, promise!**


	4. Chapter 4 Am I a Sinner

Chapter Four-Am I a Sinner

_Keep telling myself, get out of my mind  
><em>_The way it feels It feels so right and every night I feel the heat  
><em>_Close my eyes and it comes to me  
><em>_I confess if I've done it wrong  
><em>_But in your eyes I see I'm guilty  
><em>_I'm guilty_

I felt better the next day, after a day to myself. I had gone home after exploding at Dally and spent some time alone, I needed to cool down. I just relaxed around the house, and no one was home so I had the place to myself. I cranked up the radio and sang along to it, then watched some T.V and did my nails. I was happy with myself for yelling at him, cheating isn't okay. It doesn't matter how bad his girlfriend is, how awful she seems, she doesn't deserve that. No one does. I know, I had seen my mother after she found out my dad cheated on her, it wasn't pretty. I made an agreement with myself not to care about Dally, not to go near him again. If he was low enough to cheat, he was dirt. I could do better than that.

I was making myself some eggs when I heard the door open. Steve had just left for work and everyone else was out, so I wondered who it could be. I turned around to see Dally standing in the doorway to the kitchen. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Was I not clear yesterday?" I snarled at him.

"Babe, you aren't really still mad about that whole thing?" He said mockingly.

"Don't call me that." I said through my teeth. He was really getting on my last nerve. I told him to stay away from me. I was not going to help him cheat on his girlfriend for whatever reason. "And get out."

He smirked at my demand and looked me up and down. "No." I was a little stunned at his bleak refusal. No snappy comment, no mocking insult, just no. I clenched my fists and grinded my teeth together. This was my house now, and if I told him to leave he has to leave. I was about to yell at him when the smoke alarm when off.

I turned to see my eggs on fire! I ran over and grabbed the pan, throwing it into the sink. I burnt myself in the process and screamed at the pain. I cranked on the cold water and the fire went out, but steam was everywhere. The alarm still screamed behind me and I ran towards it to get the loud noises to stop. I jumped up trying to shut it off. I was up high and I couldn't reach. I jumped up again but missed, yelling out in frustration. I squeezed my eyes shut against the noise, then it stopped.

I sighed in relief from the quiet. It wasn't silent though, there was a soft chuckling coming from behind me. It was coming from closer than behind me, it was right by my ear. I felt his warm breath on my neck and heard his deep laugh and shivered unwillingly. Then I spun around and glared at him. I was angry, but when I turned he was so close I lost track of my thoughts. His body was close enough to be against me and his face was inches from my own. I inhaled with surprised, and before I could let out my breath his mouth crushed mine.

I didn't process what was happening at first. I kissed back on instinct and let his tongue enter my mouth. His arms were around me so that he surrounded me. Then I remembered I was mad at him and pulled my face away. I tried to push him back but I was trapped.

"Stop," I demanded breathlessly, but I didn't sound very convincing. He smiled at my weak voice and kissed my neck, making me lean into him against my will. "Dallas," I pleaded for him to stop, but it honestly sounded more like a moan. He moved down to my collarbone and I moaned again. It was wrong but it felt so good.

I pushed thoughts of Sylvia into my mind, and thoughts of my mother's face when Dad told her. I forced myself to remember the sound of my mother crying all night. Then I braced my arms against his chest and push back as hard as I could. He didn't move very far, but it was enough for me to get out of his arms and step away.

"Damn it, Dally! I said stop!" I yelled storming into the next room. He followed me so I kept walking until I was across the room from him. When I was a safe distance away I spun around to glare at him. "What about Sylvia, huh? Why are you so determined to screw her over?" I yelled furiously.

He shrugged and I felt anger rush through me.

"That's it? You're going to cheat on her and you don't care? That's disgusting! How could you use her like that? How can you use _me_ like that?" I yelled frantically. His head snapped up at me, and his eyes weren't mocking anymore. They were angry, burning with fury.

"Use you? Save it, Stacy. We both know you want me, so stop acting like I'm the bad guy here," he hissed at me. He didn't yell it, but his voice got low and dangerous. I was ready to yell back, but my words caught in my throat.

Maybe it was my fault. I did like him. I tried to hide it, tried to avoid it, but I couldn't. Had I been sending him signals? I didn't mean to. I did kiss him back. Both times. I looked up and met his gaze again. It was cold and accusing. I took a step back and sat on the couch. I was just as bad as him. I was as bad as my father. As bad as Dally.

When I looked up at him again he was smirking. Smirking at the fact he had won our little argument, probably. I felt my anger pulse through me and I stood up again. Here I was, sitting and blaming myself, accusing myself, while he stood there on top of the world for cheating and making both of the girls feel like crap.

"At least I feel bad about it." I snarled at him. It was all I could think of to say.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He said, still smirking that nasty, mocking smirk.

"It means at least I have the decency to feel bad about it. I have the decency to feel like I've done something wrong. You have no decency. No honour. You're trash," I insulted him. I saw his eyes fill with anger again and he stormed towards me. He got really close to my face and his eyes burned into mine.

"Say that again." He threatened. I was scared. Terrified. What the hell was I doing? Would he hit me? I didn't show my fear though. I stared back at him, even though it took all my strength not to look away.

"You're trash." I said as strongly as before. I was proud of myself for not backing down, for standing up for what's right.

"At least I know how to live! At least I'm free! I break the rules. I don't care. You're just a little goody-good who will never belong here. You're a weak little girl who will always do what she's told. You know why? Because you're scared. You're scared of breaking rules, scared of being bad. You're scared of me," he stopped to laugh at me. "You're pathetic." He growled.

I took a step back. That was a lot of insults. They say words can't hurt you, but that did. That cut me deeply. I felt my eyes start to water and silently cursed myself. I wouldn't let the tears fall though, I couldn't give him that. I turned away from him and tried to control myself.

I stood with my forehead against the wall, not daring to look back at Dally. No one has ever insulted me so badly before. I don't know how long I stood there, it was a while. I was starting to wonder if he had left. He had the ability to move around silently if he wanted to. Then I felt his hand pulling my hair back out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. I jumped at the first touch, but didn't move away.

I stayed still, still unwilling to turn to him. Unwilling to see that cocky smirk on his face at the fact he had made me cry. The fact he had won. Then I felt his hand under my chin, his finger pulling my face around towards him. I shook him off, so he put his hand on the side of my face and pulled me around a little harder. I reluctantly let him turn me to face him.

When I looked at him, he wasn't smirking, or laughing. He had a serious look on his face. I couldn't read it though, it was blank. I couldn't read anything in his eyes either. They were still hard, but they held no emotion, no anger or mocking laughter, they were actually kind of warm. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, trying to read his emotions. Had he not just been filled with anger, and hate? How could he look so empty now?

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I didn't protest, again. I didn't care if that made me a bad person. I was weak and upset and wanted him to kiss me. Was he going to take advantage of my vulnerability? I really didn't care if he did, I would yell at him later, but for now, I just wanted him.

He didn't take advantage of me, though. This kiss was different from the other ones. It was soft and tender. He lips pressed against mine, but didn't beg for more. They comforted me. I was starting to wonder who this was. This couldn't be Dallas Winton, the notorious hood who doesn't care about anyone. It was though.

When the kiss broke, I looked up at him wonderingly. I wanted another one, but wouldn't push for it. I didn't want to ruin the moment. He looked back at me for a minute, then he shifted his gaze so he was staring beyond me. I wondered if he was embarrassed, letting his cool-guy exterior down for a minute. He shouldn't be, I liked this side of him better.

"Break up with her." I heard myself say. I didn't want to say it, didn't want to realize that I was stealing her boyfriend. But I wanted him. I wanted him to kiss me again without me feeling bad about it. Maybe I was willing to hurt someone for that. Besides, maybe he was right, maybe I should break some rules.

"What?" He asked, his eyes meeting mine again. They weren't the way they were before, though. They were cold again, his emotional shield up again. I was sad to see him go back to the way he usually was so quickly.

"Break up with her." I repeated, quieter this time. He didn't reply, he just looked at me for a minute. "Please?" I asked in a whisper.

He nodded, and I felt a smile come to my lips. "I'll think about it." He said, and the smile faded. I didn't yell at him though, or push for any more. I knew that was the best I would get from him.

I offered him breakfast, but he declined. I walked him to the door and he turned to kiss me goodbye. It was a quick, sudden kiss. But it still made my heart flutter and my breath catch in my throat. Then he turned and left. I slowly pushed the door closed behind him, then turned around and leaned back against it. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. What was I getting myself into?

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thank you guys for all the reviews! I'm going to start looking for a beta. What did youo think of this chapter? Reviews please! I'll be updating again soon.**


	5. Chapter 5 Good Girls Go Bad

Chapter Five-Good Girls Go Bad

_I know your type,  
>Boy, you're dangerous.<br>Yeah, you're that guy,  
>I'd be stupid to trust.<br>But just one night couldn't be so wrong.  
>You make me want to lose control.<br>I make them good girls go bad.  
>I was hanging in the corner,<br>With my five best friends,  
>I heard that you were trouble,<br>But I couldn't resist,  
>I make them good girls go bad.<em>

I circled my finger about in the blush and then gently applying it to my cheeks. Lying on my bed was a thigh-high skirt and a solid white blouse that I planned on wearing. Wearing the skirts that showed my ass when I bent over wasn't my style. I care to have more respect of myself than some of the greaser girls do around here, but by no means do I wear the frilly stuff the socs wear. A happy medium is what you should call it.

I brushed the knots out of my frizzy hair and slipped my outfit on. It doesn't take me hours to get ready like most girls, at most its five or ten minutes. I never understood what they could possible do to themselves that long, but whatever makes them happy.

One satisfied with my appearance, I hopped down the steps to meet up with Steve and Two-Bit.

This party appealed more to me than the others had. I hadn't been able to really let loose since my first night here so I was ready for this.

I hadn't seen Dally in a week. To speak the truth, I was getting a bit impatient. If he's trying to avoid me I swear….

Even if he chose her over me, he really should at least let me know. That would be the proper thing to do. Any guy with any intelligence would know that. Something told me Dally wasn't your typical guy though.

In a way I was hoping he would be at Buck's. At least that way I could get a straight answer out of him. I wasn't going to spend my time waiting on him any longer.

* * *

><p>Buck's was jammed out the door. I may be new here but to me it seemed to always be like that.<p>

Two-Bit was already tipsy before we even got there. He drowned down about three bottles on the way over and there is no telling how many he sucked down when he was at home.

Once inside, Steve warned me to stay out of trouble and then went off with Two-Bit towards two pretty blonde girls sitting at the bar.

After scanning the crowd I decide to go into the kitchen for a drink. It didn't look like he was here anyway. I pulled a bottle out and popped the lid off.

I found a seat and looked around the full house once again.

"Looking for someone?" the voice beside me made me jump.

I looked over at Dally, smirking at me. My face grew hot.

"So, Dally, have you come to a decision yet?" I asked, ignoring his question.

He just shrugged and took a small sip of his drink.

"Dal', I'm serious. Have you decided?" I asked sternly.

"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't." He spoke in his cool tone.

"Dallas, you have to tell me. Me or her? If you don't tell me I'm leaving. I'm not waiting around for you." I barked.

His eyes flicker with anger at my bossy tone.

I held my ground and took a sip of my drink. He wasn't going to intimidate me.

"Leave then. See if I care." He grumbled, turning away from me.

_So, that backfired_.

I sighed and put my hand on his. "Please, Dally? I hate waiting like this. I need to know."

Last time I went soft around him it seemed to make him come out of his shell more, so why not try it again?

He turned slowly towards me. "I really drive you that crazy, huh?" He asked cockily.

My face fell. He didn't have any intensions of answering my question.

I jumped up and started to turn to storm off, but he stopped me. He stood in front of me, with his arms on either side of me, against the bar. I narrowed my eyes.

"Let me go, Dal'." I demanded, angrily.

I heard him chuckle under his breath. "You gonna make me?"

I raised my fist to hit him but he grabbed it and held it in place. I looked up into his fiery eyes with my mouth open. My arches on my feet rose up as I got closer to his face. Gently I laid my lips upon his feeling his warmth. I felt weak and lost under his control.

I let him kiss me back. When he finally broke away my breathing had picked up.

"Dal'," I breathed in a shaky voice, "Please don't do this to me anymore. Just tell me if you're still with her. Just tell me who you want. I can't do this to her, Dal', I can't."

He leaned in real close and whispered into my ear, "Don't worry so much about her."

I smiled so wide I must've looked like a goof.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him.

He pulled me off him and took a step back. "No, I don't do mushy things like that." He told me sternly.

I let out a small laugh. "You mean hugging?" I asked incredulously.

No wonder he could only get girls like Sylvia.

"Yeah," He answered seriously.

"Well what do you do then?" I asked flirtatiously.

He smiled and leaned in again, but stopped.

I looked up at him to see he was staring over my shoulder. I turned around and saw that he was watching Steve and Two-Bit.

The girls they were with were giggling, and Steve was whispering something in one of their ears, but Two-Bit was glaring at us.

I saw Dally shake his head at him his look clearly saying 'keep your mouth shut.'

Two-Bit nodded in understanding and turned back to his blonde. I guess we weren't telling Steve.

"What was that all about?" I curiously asked.

I couldn't read his expression he gave me.

He grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the door.

"Come with me." Was all he said.

It's not like I had much of a choice, he practically forced me to go with him.

Once we were outside he let go of my hand and started walking. I walked beside him, silently for a couple minutes.

"Dal', we're not keeping this from Steve." I told him.

He didn't even glance over at me. We came to a small gas station and he went in, me following closely behind.

"Dal', stop ignoring me."

"Sh. Just be quiet for a minute, okay? Let me think." He said angrily.

I glared at him and watched as he grabbed a pack of smokes and shoved it in his pocket. My eyes opened wide.

"Dally, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I spoke at a whisper.

He looked at me questionably.

"Getting some smokes." He said, as if I were dumb.

"Stealing? What if you get caught? It's against the law." I said in a motherly tone.

He just laughed at me looking amused.

"You mean, you've never stole nothing before?" He quietly asked.

I shook my head. I've never done anything bad enough to get arrested.

"Try it." He told me.

My stomach did flips. I looked at the stuff on the rack then back at Dally, whose eyes were encouraging me to take something. I looked over at the clerk and noticed how he wasn't paying us any attention. Finally, I took a deep breath and grabbed a candy bar, shoving it deep into my pocket.

I felt a rush of adrenaline go through me. I smiled mischievously at myself.

"Come on, let's go." Dally said, putting his arm around me and leading me towards the door.

Just as I stepped outside I felt the rush again. I actually got away with it.

We were walking through a park when I took out the candy bar and broke a piece off for Dally.

It was dark and the rustling of the trees gave me a creepy feeling. I felt safe walking with Dally right beside me though.

"That was fun." I said, looking up at Dally.

He looked down at me, his blue eyes filled with amusement. "You like breaking the rules, huh?" He asked, blowing a smoke ring.

I shrugged, trying to be cool about it. "It was pretty tuff."

"Well, stealing is just the beginning, babe. I got something better we can do,"

My stomach turned in knots again. "Ok," I whispered. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>We came to a stop in front of a crummy looking old house. It was about the size of a box and the blue paint was peeling off. There was an old beat up red truck parked in front of it.<p>

I looked questionably at Dally. "What are we going to do?"

"I thought you liked breaking the rules? Thought you wanted to be my partner in crime." He joked.

I let out a small laugh trying to calm myself.

"Come here." He stated, dragging me over to a small bush.

We crouched behind the big limbs and he took out his blade.

"I'll do the first two, you can do the second." He told me

I narrowed my eyes not fully knowing what he'd plan to do with that.

He rolled his eyes at me and stood up.

I watched as he ran up to the car and crouched beside it. He then dug his blade into the wheel and yanked it out again. He moved a couple steps ahead and did it to the other wheel too. I gasped and covered my mouth.

He came running back and crouched beside me. "Here," he said, handing me the blade.

I shook my head and stared at him. "What if we get caught?"

"If." He pointed out.

I took a deep breath. "Do you even know whose car that is?"

He just smirked. "Of course I do; now, you going to do it or not?" He shoved the blade towards me.

I stared at it for a couple seconds before gently taking it into my trembling hand.

I felt my nerves calm down a bit as I ran closer to the vehicle.

I crouched by the back wheel the way Dally did, and stabbed it into the hard rubber. I felt that rush of excitement go through me again. That dangerous wave of emotion made me grin once again. The tire was tougher than I thought it would be, so I knew I had to put more force into the second one. I creped forward a few steps and slashed the other one. I could hear the _whoosh_ of air escaping it.

That's when I heard a_ thump_ inside the house and the light flicked on. My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. I broke out of my stunned panic and ran as fast as I could back to Dally. I crashed behind the bush cutting my arm, my breath coming faster. I heard the guy curse when he examined his car.

I laid my head against Dally in relief that I had gotten away.

Dally was watching the kid walk around his car and examine each tire. I looked back at the guy.

He had dark hair and a dangerous look to him. You could tell he was a hood just from the way he moved. I couldn't see him very well in the darkness, but I could still see his anger.

"Damn it, Dallas! I'll get you back for this," He hissed, as if he knew we were there.

I tensed and Dally looked down at me. He was laughing as he took the blade from me and slid it back into his pocket.

I shoved him. "That isn't funny, Dally! I almost got caught! I could've gone to jail!" I yelled angrily.

Dally stood up and pulled me up beside him. He obviously still wasn't taking this seriously.

"Calm down. Shepard wouldn't call the cops. He hates them more than he hates me." He started walking away.

I ran to catch up with him.

Once he saw my anger ridden face he smirked. "Besides, don't tell me you didn't have fun."

I stopped in my place. I can't believe he thinks slashing peoples tires and nearly getting arrested or your head kicked in is fun. Then I realized something. I did too.

He just kept walking as he lit up another smoke.

I ran up next to him and walked beside him again without speaking. I hated the fact that he was right.

I wasn't paying attention to where we were. I was too busy thinking about how exciting it was to break the law, and how bad it was that I actually enjoyed that.

When I looked up we were back at Steve's house. I walked up to the porch with Dally right behind me.

I cracked the door then stopped realizing he had no plans to turn and leave.

I spun around at him. "Well... good night,"

He didn't move. "What, you ain't going to invite me in?" He asked a bit of humor to his voice.

"Naw. I'm not like Sylvia, Dal'. You'll have to take me out on a real date first." I smiled.

"What do you think tonight was?" He said seriously.

I laughed. "Our first date was robbing a gas station and slashing some guy's tires?" I asked, still laughing.

He nodded.

"Oh, you're such a romantic,"

"Only for you, toots" He smirked.

He leaned down and rested his lips on mine taking my breath away. He started to push closer to me and I stepped inside the house, with him still kissing me.

Once realizing what he was doing I pulled away.

"Dally, I said I'm not like Sylvia, and I mean it. I'm not easy like that. I have... morals." I explained gently.

To my surprise, he didn't get angry. He just looked me up and down and smirked.

"We'll see about that." He smarted off, and before I could say anything, his lips were on mine again making me forget my words.

He pulled away too soon and I involuntarily stepped forward, wanting more.

He gave me that cocky smirk one last time before turning and leaving.

I glared at the door a couple minutes before jogging up the stairs.

I hated the way he was right, and I hated the way he smirked at me knowing he was right. It made me want to tear his hair out. I was about to my door when I bumped into Steve.

"Hey, you're home early," I told him wondering what happened to the girl at the party.

"Uh... not really. It's two in the morning. You're home late." He informed me.

My eyebrows rose, I hadn't even realized.

"Where did you go off to?"

"I went for a walk with Dally," I said matter-of-factly.

He looked at me suspiciously. He put a finger under my chin and moved my head up so he could look at me in the light.

"What are you doing?" I asked, surprised.

"What did you and Dally do?" He asked narrowing his eyes then letting loose of my chin.

"Why?"

He sighed and looked at me. "Stace, I don't want to see you with Dally. Don't trust him. Go it?" He sternly asked.

"I thought he was you're friend," I pointed out.

His eyes narrowed at me once again. "Just do as I say."

He stared me down a little longer before I nodded and slipped into my room.

I changed into pajamas and crawled into bed.

Dallas was on my mind as I lied down and stared at the ceiling, Dally and all the bad things I've done in just one night with him. I hated the way he could make my heart race one minute and make me want to kill him the next. I hated the way I couldn't control myself as well as he could. I hated how he could read me like a book but I never knew what he was thinking. And that smirk, that annoying smirk I wished I could knock off his face. I hated the power he had over me, to make me do things I normally would never do, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

I wondered how upset Steve would be if he knew about all this. Deep down I really didn't want to keep this a secret from him, but it looks like I might have to.

He was right though, Dally wasn't good for me. The question was: did I care? Does it matter if he's bad as long as I'm happy with him?

I slowly drifted into sleep with a million questions on my mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Sorry for the long wait! Combine being really busy with searching for a beta and some writers block and this is how long it takes to update. The next chapter will be up sooner though! Big thank you to TaylorPaige24, my beta for this story. Thank you to Outsiderfan24 also, for helping me find my wonderful beta! Review please and tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6 Bad Romance

Chapter Six-Bad Romance

_You know that I want you,  
>And you know that I need you.<br>I want it bad,  
>Your bad romance.<br>I want your loving,  
>And I want your revenge,<br>You and me could write a bad romance._

The bright sun shined down into my eyes and awoke me. The clock beside me was saying it was already past noon.

I rolled out of my cozy bed and groaned. After a hot shower, I threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top and headed out. Steve was already at work, so I had the free time to do what I needed.

I went straight to the Curtis' and walked in without bothering to knock. I could hear Two-Bit laughing in the kitchen, and Ponyboy was doing the dishes while Two-Bit just sat joking around.

"Hey guy's, anyone else here?" I asked.

"Nope, it's just us," Ponyboy replied drying a plate.

I looked at Two-Bit to see him staring me down.

I sighed. "Two-Bit can I talk to you for a minute?"

He nodded and followed me out onto the porch.

"So, about me and Dally..." I started once we were outside. He waved his hands though, cutting off my words.

"Whoa. I don't want any part of that, just don't even tell me." He stated his voice a bit annoyed.

I was relieved he was so willing to put this behind him. "So you won't tell Steve then?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Sides, Dally already came by and told me to keep my trap shut or else."

I blinked a couple of times to take in what he said. I had told Dally I wasn't going to keep this from _Steve_. I still didn't know if I would say anything or not, but I sure didn't want Two-Bit to tell him.

"When?" I asked him.

He just shrugged. "Earlier today."

I headed down the steps in a rush.

"Where you going?" He took a step to follow me.

"To find Dally. Do you know where he is?" I turned around to ask.

"Buck's probably, think he's got a room there."

* * *

><p>It was weird to see Buck's empty, and quiet. It wasn't natural. Not seeing the swarms of people made it kind of eerie looking.<p>

I knocked hard on the door and leaned against the frame and waited for what seemed like forever before Buck finally cracked the door open.

"What you want?" He half-grunted.

I could see he was badly hung-over. He was dressed in dirty blue jeans with stains and under his eyes were solid black circles. In the sunlight it looked like he still couldn't fully open his swollen eyes.

I took a deep breath. "Is Dally here?"

He looked me up and down, making me wish I was more covered than I was.

He then nodded once and opened the door wide enough for me to walk in.

I looked around at the nasty house. Without being filled with drunken people, you could see how shabby the place really was.

"First door on the right," He grumbled, motioning towards the stairs.

I stepped over a broken bottle and went up the stairs that creaked with each step I took. Hesitating for a second, I decided to walk in.

Dally was going through something in his dresser. He was dressed in the same jeans from the night before and his messy hair was covered over his face.

His head snapped up when I took a step forward. I had to mentally shake myself so I wouldn't get caught staring.

"Don't you know how to knock?" He mumbled, clearly angry.

"Why'd you tell Two-Bit that we're keeping this from Steve?" I snapped back.

"Because we are." He told me coolly.

"And what if I don't want to?" I asked through my teeth. He can't control my life.

"Then you can get lost." He turned away from me and went through his dresser again, this time pulling out a shirt and some bills.

I felt my anger rise. I couldn't even argue with him because he made it all extremely one-sided. Either I do what he says or leave. Well, I'm not going to let him control me like that.

"No." I said sternly.

He turned and looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What was that?" His voice almost threatening.

"I said no. No I'm not leaving and no you aren't making every decision for us."

His eyes filled with anger and in return mine filled with fear.

Dally doesn't like being told no. He didn't say anything, just kept glaring at me.

I tried again, "Dal, you can't just decide on something and say that's the way it is. Not with me. You have to at least talk to me first."

He was still clearly angry, but I hesitantly took a step towards him. When he still didn't move or say anything I sighed and sat on his bed.

He is the most difficult person I have ever argued with.

"I actually came here to tell you maybe we should keep this a secret for a while," I agreed reluctantly staring at the floor.

I hated backing down but I had kind of already figured it would be easier if we didn't tell Steve, I just didn't like letting Dally win.

His feet came into view and I looked up at him standing right above me. His eyes weren't blazing anymore; he had that cocky smirk on his face again.

I stood up, angry at him for rubbing it in that he got his way, but he pushed me down again. I fell onto the bed and before I could yell at him he kissed me.

Once again, I forgot I was angry and that he was an asshole. I forgot everything except that his mouth was on mine and I could feel the heat of his bare chest through my shirt. He finally broke the kiss and trailed kissed down my neck and to my collarbone. I let him push me backwards onto the bed as he crawled on top of me. I moved my hands over his arms and back and leaned into him.

His mouth was on mine again and his hand slid under my shirt. It wasn't until I felt the snap in the back of my bra undo that I realized what he was doing. I grabbed his hand and pulled it out of my shirt. Sitting up, I pushed him off me and crawled away from him, until I was on the opposite side of the bed.

He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. His eyes trailed over me while he held that smirk on his face. I glowered at him.

"Dally, I told you last night I'm not like that!" I scolded.

"I don't believe you," He whispered.

I jumped up off the bed. He was impossible! I am not a slut, not even close!

I huffed angrily. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could say anything he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down so I sitting with him.

He put an arm around my shoulders preventing me from being able to move. "Calm down. Here," he said, reaching around me to his other hand. I stopped moving and let myself lay against him, curious as to what he was doing.

I looked down at his hand in shock. In his right hand was his ring.

I smiled up at him and took it. It was really big and I had to move it over a finger, but I didn't care. I stared at my hand, admiring it for a minute before turning to him.

"So, I'm officially your girl now?" I asked excited.

He just nodded coolly. I was happy though, because, for Dally, that showed a lot of affection.

* * *

><p>For the next week, I quickly realized being Dally's girl wasn't anywhere near a normal relationship. The closest thing to dates that we had was hanging out and breaking the law. Surprisingly enough, though, I actually liked that better than normal dates. It was more exciting, more fun than just going to dinner or a movie.<p>

As much as I hated to admit it, sneaking around was actually kind of fun too. We couldn't let Steve know, which meant no one else in their gang could know. It made some things frustrating, like me not being able to wear his ring unless I was only with him, or having to break off kissing when we heard someone was close by. But it made the time we did have alone more intense. It made me look forward to seeing him more. We were doing a good job sneaking around, too. Two-Bit knew, but completely ignored it. I'm pretty sure Ponyboy had his suspicions too, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut about it.

I was running down the street, the wind blowing my hair around behind me. Dally and I had just broken the windows on some old school, then someone saw us and started hollering from across the street.

As we turned a corner the man went out of sight and we slowed down. I was laughing now, laughing at the rush, at the adrenaline. I stopped and put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath through my laughter.

When I had controlled myself I looked up at Dally. He was just watching me, lighting up a smoke.

"That was fun," I told him, smiling.

He grinned a little bit and turned away from me.

I looked up at what he was staring at to see a guy coming towards us.

The guy looked to be around Dally's age, but a little taller. He had brown hair and eyes and a long scar down the side of his face. From just one glance I could tell he was a hood, and extremely angry.

I looked back at Dally. His face had gotten that serious, hard look to it that he used to mask all his feelings. I hated seeing him like that; he didn't even look human when he was like that. He kept his relaxed, slouching pose when he spoke.

"Shepard." Dally greeted the guy as he came up to us.

That's when I remembered who he was. We had slashed his tires a week ago.

I took a small step back, knowing things were about to get ugly.

"I know you slashed my tires, Winston." Tim's voice was threatening, and I moved back even further.

I didn't know this guy, but he looked tough and hard. I didn't know what he would do, and it frightened me.

"You slept with my girl." Dally retorted.

I felt my jaw drop but quickly closed my mouth. I helped slash this guy's tires as revenge for him sleeping with Sylvia?

I bit back the urge to scream and throw Dally's ring at him right there.

"You slept with my sister!" Shepard snapped back.

I clenched my fists so tight I could feel his ring digging into me. His stupid ring. I didn't want to hear about the other thing's Dally had done, so I started to turn and leave.

Before I could look away, though, I saw Shepard take a swing at Dally and hit him square in the jaw.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw him pull out a blade and point it towards Dally.

"You're sister was too hot to resist," Dally glared at him, unfazed.

I watched as Shepard took another punch then sliced Dally's arm open.

Dally didn't even wince, he just stood back up then hit Shepard straight in the nose.

I could hear it break and winced. Pretty soon, they were rolling around and throwing hits. From what I could see, Dally was getting the worst of it, probably because Shepard had a blade. I wanted to run away from there, but couldn't move. I wanted to be sick from seeing the blood but couldn't even breathe.

Shepard's arm came up and he took one more swing at Dally, who was laying beneath him. Dally didn't make a sound as he blacked out and his body stilled in unconsciousness.

By first glance I thought he was dead. I thought I had just witnessed a murder.

I heard a small whimper escape my lips. Shepard looked up at me and met my eyes. I trembled slightly with fear, but tried not to show it. His eyes were wild and fierce, but after a moment of looking at me, he calmed down a little.

"He ain't dead, just knocked out. He'll come around soon." He told me in a monotone voice.

He stood up and put his blade back into his pocket.

I didn't move, just watched him.

"I'm Tim," he told me.

"Stacy," I said, quietly.

"He deserved that," He said, motioning towards Dally, who was still on the ground.

"I know." I was surprised to hear myself say it and bit my lip.

Dally did deserve that, from what I heard. I didn't like seeing him beat up like that, but right now I was angry enough at him not to care.

Tim laughed at my response. "You dig okay," he told me.

I smiled at him.

"See you around."

I watched him walk off and waited for him to be far enough away before I went to Dally.

I kneeled by his head and pushed back his hair. His nose was bleeding and his eye bruising. He had more than a few cuts on him and looked awful.

I put one hand on his chest and ran my other one through his hair. The softness of his hair always surprised me; it was like a little child's.

"Dally. Dally, wake up. I ain't carrying you anywhere so you better wake up soon." I said, a little less gently than I should have.

I waited a few minutes before smacking my hand lightly on his cheek. His eyebrows furrowed together and he opened his eyes slowly.

"Stop hitting me." He swatted my hand away.

"Well get up. You got to get cleaned up," I told him.

He rolled away from me and up onto his feet.

I slowly stood up and brushed the grass off my knees. "Come on. I'll get you cleaned up."

* * *

><p>We went back to my place. I got out the first aid kit and brought him to my room.<p>

"Sit." I commanded, pointing to the bed. He didn't move and I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness. "You're lucky I'm even doing this for you. I should go find Tim and ask him to knock you out again."

"What did I do this time?" He snapped irritated.

"How about taking me out to slash the tires of the guy who slept with your girlfriend? Using me to get revenge because Sylvia obviously wasn't satisfied by _you_!" I yelled. "Did you really dump her for me, Dally? Or did she get sick of you and dump you on your ass?"

His eyes blazed and he came towards me, but I was too angry to be afraid.

"You don't even want me, do you? You're only with me because Sylvia's done with you, because she found someone better!"

"Sylvia don't mean shit to me." He growled, "and if you don't shut your mouth, you won't mean nothing either."

I rolled my eyes at him. Things don't work like that. You don't just decide you don't like someone just because they pissed you off.

"Maybe I don't want to mean anything to you. Maybe I don't care. You're an asshole anyways." I hissed at him.

"Ha! Yeah, right. We both know I mean more to you than you let on. We both know you care," He said.

I was ready to say something, but stopped myself. Once again, he was right.

I gritted my teeth together and turned away, stomping towards the door.

I yanked the doorknob, pulling the door open only to have Dally's hand slammed above my head forcing the door shut again.

I wheeled around and came face to face with him.

"Back off, Dally," I hissed through my teeth.

He smirked which pushed me over the edge.

I pushed him back forcefully and he stumbled into my dresser.

He looked at me with surprise.

"Why won't you just let me leave? I don't mean anything to you! I'm just another one of your whores!" My voice shook with rage and a few tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. Crying only made me angrier. "All you're doing is using me! I don't mean anything to you and that hurts, Dally! It kills me that-"

I was screaming and rambling on when his hand clamped over my mouth and his other arm went around my waist, pulling me into him.

I shook my head and tried to push back but he held tight and I couldn't move.

I gave in and stopped wiggling so he removed his hand from my mouth and put his arm around my shoulders. I let him hold me as I sobbed into his chest.

I took a few deep breaths and controlled myself.

I willed the crying to stop and looked up at him.

His face was expressionless, but his eyes were different from how the normally are. They weren't burning with rage or mocking me like usual. They held their usual coldness, but they softened, just a little, as he looked at me.

I took a small step back but kept my arms on his chest. "Dally, I need to know if you care about me. Please. Just tell me, do you care about me at all? Or am I just another girl?" I asked gently.

He turned his face away from me and I bit my lip to keep from crying again.

"Because, you mean a lot to me, Dal. I care about you." I had whispered those last words.

I wonder if anyone had ever told him that before.

Slowly he looked back at me, but his face was still emotionless and my eyes filled with tears out of frustration.

"Please, Dal." My voice cracked.

He sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "You... you're not just some girl," he admitted, quietly.

I stepped forward and leaned up to kiss him, letting a couple tears fall.

I met his lips for only a minute before I pulled back and smiled at him. That was kind of Dally's way of telling me he cared about me. It was his way of expressing his feelings. Even though I had to force it out of him, and it wasn't much, it was something. I could be satisfied with that, for now at least.

I took his hand and pulled him over to the bed, pushing him down so he was sitting. "Take off your shirt."

"Well, if you want it that badly..." He said, and I blushed at what I had just said.

Turning back around, I held the first aid kit in my hand.

"No, not like that. I have to clean some of those cuts." I told him, setting the kit on the bed and opening it up.

"Don't worry about it." He teased.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're going to get an infection," I stated.

He just shrugged and I huffed with annoyance.

"Dally, don't be so stubborn and take off your shirt," I commanded, and then laughed at how that sounded.

When he didn't move I just started with his face. I poured some alcohol on a cloth and dabbed it against the gash by his temple.

He hissed and pulled away.

"Oh, don't be a baby." I told him.

He glared at me and sat back up.

I finished cleaning it and bent so I was eye level with him. I dabbed the other small wound on his jaw. He didn't flinch or wince; instead, he leaned in and kissed me. I leaned in and pressed close to him.

He layed back on the bed and guided me on top of him. He grabbed my hair in one hand while moving his other one up my shirt. I ran my hands slowly down to the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head, he started to do the same thing for me, but I pulled back and stepped away. He looked at me, frustrated.

I threw his shirt away and looked at the gash on his chest. It was really bad, about half the length of his collarbone. I poured some alcohol on a bigger cloth and leaned over to dab at him. He glared at me but I just ignored him and continued to clean him up.

When I finished, I threw everything into the trash and grabbed him one of Steve's muscle shirts.

"Here, you can use this. You should get going, Steve will be back soon," I threw the shirt at him.

"What, I can't stay the night?" He teased.

"Nope," I giggled, walking with him to the door.

As I reached for the doorknob, his hand went around my waist and pulled me back into him.

I laughed and he turned my head, kissing me fiercely.

I moaned into his mouth and pressed closer into him letting myself get lost in him.

Suddenly, he pulled away from me and ran a hand through his hair.

I looked at him confused, dazed, before I realized the sounds from the other side of the door.

It swung open and Steve was standing in front of me. He looked from me to Dally, then back to me.

His eyes narrowed and he inhaled a sharp breath of air. "What the hell's going on?" He yelled through clenched teeth.

I was dumbfounded, unable to think of an excuse.

"She insisted I come here so she could clean up some wounds I got fighting with Shepard. He pulled a blade and I didn't have nothing on me, broke his nose though." Dally cut in.

Steve looked at us suspiciously, but Dally slid out the door before anything else could be said.

"I'm... going to go to bed," I said nervously.

Steve didn't say anything; he just let me go upstairs and into my room.

I knew I had to be more careful. I knew Steve was going to catch on sooner or later, but for right now, that was the last thing on my mind.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thank you again to TaylorPaige24, for being such a great beta! Thanks to all my reviewers and followers, I love hearing from you guys! Tell me what you think so far or what you want to happen, anything, I love your reviews! I'll update again soon. Oh, and happy Easter weekend! :)**


	7. Chapter 7 I Turn To You

_Disclaimer: I do not own 'I Turn to You,' it's by Christina Aguilera. Nor do I own the outsiders, they're S.E Hinton's._

Chapter Seven-I Turn To You

_When I'm lost in the rain, In your eyes I know I'll find the light To light my when I'm scared, losing ground, When my world is going crazy, You can turn it all around.  
>For the strength to be strong, For the will to carry on I turn to you.<em>

* * *

><p><em>I sit on my bed in the darkness, unable to see, but unable to sleep. I hear the muffled yelling coming from the other room. They try to be quiet, try not to wake me. I hear them anyways, more often then I like to admit. <em>

_As my father's voice overpowers my mothers, I clutch the blankets. Just stop. Just stop. Please, just stop. It won't stop. No matter how much I plead, no matter how much I want them to just shut up and be happy, they won't._

_They'll act normal tomorrow when they're around me. They'll act like nothing's wrong and I'll act like I believe them. But in the darkness of the night, the truth unfolds._

_This time is different though. They're madder. I can feel it through the walls; my father is no longer trying to be quiet, but I can still hear my mother whimper and try to quiet him even through his screams. _

_Then there's a loud bang. Everything goes silent. It's scarier than the yelling. I hold my breath, waiting. For what, I don't know. An eternity passes. I cling to my sheets in anticipation; I'm sweating and shaking slightly. What's happening? I feel as though I'm in a scary movie._

_Finally I hear my parent's door open. I hold still, thinking my mom will come check on me like she always does. She doesn't though. I see through the crack under my door a light go on. I sit up slowly and tip toe over to my door. Opening it just a crack, my heart is racing._

_I can see my mother in the bathroom, crying quietly. I creep over to her and stand in the doorway. The floor creaks beneath me, but she doesn't hear it._

_She's bleeding, her forehead smeared with red liquid. _

_She presses a damp cloth to her face and I can see her hand shaking._

"_Mommy," I whisper, stepping close to her._

_When she turns to me, she looks defeated. The pain in her eyes are so evident I feel as though I can't breathe. _

_I hug her as she cries, and she pats my hair lovingly, trying for my sake to be quiet._

A loud shout wakes me. My body is clammy and I draw a shaky breath, telling myself it was only a dream.

"Worthless piece of shit!" A booming voice comes from downstairs.

I cringe and bite my lip. Silently, I pray that I'm still dreaming. I know I'm not though.

I stand up as a string of violent curses make their way to my ears. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the screaming, trying to pretend I'm somewhere else.

The yelling gets louder and I know I can't just avoid this. This time I'll do anything I can to make sure no one I care about gets hurt. This time, I won't be a coward.

Despite my efforts to stay silent, the stairs creak under my feet. I can hear the yelling clearly now.

"Quiet down, we have a guest! Please!" My aunt's voice rings.

"Shut your mouth, you stupid whore! It's my house and I'll yell if I want to!"

It was my uncle Ron. I had hardly seen him the whole time I was here. He would just show up at night and go to his room. He had hardly spoken a few words to me, not that I cared. I had never liked him, even when I was little. He always smelled of booze and smoke and I don't think I've ever seen him smile.

"You leave her alone!" Steve's voice shouted.

I moved a little further down the stairs, so I could see what would happen.

"Don't you talk to me like that, boy! You worthless mistake! I hate you, you ruined my life!" His father yelled at him.

I could see now he was drunk, stumbling a little. My aunt was behind Steve, I couldn't see her very well, but I could make out small tear stains on her face.

"Please, Ronnie. Just leave us alone, please!" Her voice was strangled and horse.

Steve put his hand on her elbow, silencing her. "Why don't you just go to bed, dad?" He asked, his voice was calm but filled with anger.

"Fuck you! Both of you! Don't tell me what to do, you don't mean anything to me!" He turned towards Steve, "Piece of shit, get out of my house!"

Steve looked towards him mother, but she didn't move to defend him. She didn't even ask him to stay; she just stood wiping her tears on her sleeve.

Steve looked past his father and saw me. I didn't know what to do, and before I could figure it out, Steve was knocked to the ground with a loud slap.

I sucked in a breath and stared in horror.

"I said now!" Uncle Ron yelled at him.

Steve lifted himself off the ground and walked out the door without a second glance.

As soon as the door shut behind him I jumped up from my spot and ran out after him. I wouldn't stay there without him now, I needed him there.

"Steve! Steve, stop!" I ran after him.

He didn't stop, or even slow down.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face me. I could see the redness of the side of his face even in the darkness. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He turned away. "I'm fine, it's no big deal." I felt the hurt through his words.

"Don't lie to me." I told him.

He sighed loudly and yanked a cigarette out of his pocket. Sitting on the curb, he inhaled deeply and ignored me.

I sat beside him and touched his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort.

"It happens all the time," He whispered, after a long silence. "Not recently, though. Ma got him to stay away or stay calm because you're around. She didn't want you to know. I knew it wouldn't last long though." His voice was empty.

"Steve, I… I'm so sorry," I told him, my voice full of concern.

"Don't worry about it, I'm used to it," He shrugged it off.

I could still see how hurt he truly was.

"I'm staying at Soda's, you want to come?" He asked, standing up.

"Sure."

* * *

><p>Cozy on Soda's couch, I couldn't sleep. Steve was snoring beside me, his even breathing somewhat of a comfort.<p>

My mind wouldn't stop working though.

At least my parents had the decency to try to hide it from me. My parents cared about me and tried to shelter me. Steve's hated him. I felt for him.

In my mind I kept seeing the events of tonight play over and over again. Each time it got worse, each time the noise louder, the slap harder, the tension stronger. Finally, I couldn't let my thoughts torture me anymore. I sat up as quietly as I could and, stepping over Steve, slipped out the door and into the night.

I didn't know what time it was, but Buck's place was alive with a wild party once again.

I stepped inside and ignored the chaos around me. I didn't see the drunks stumbling around or the sluts dancing. I didn't see the people having the time of their lives or even hear the loud music. All I knew was I had to see Dally, because he's what I needed right now.

It hadn't crossed my mind that he may not be there, he had to be there.

I stepped into his room and was suddenly nervous. What if he's mad I woke him up? I shook it off and called out to him.

"Dally? You here?" I asked softly.

It was so dark I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face.

I heard a muffled yawn and some blankets moving around.

"What you want?" He moaned.

I bit my lip and considered just leaving, but decided I'd rather be with him, even if he's cranky, than anywhere else.

"I just… couldn't sleep," I tried to sound casual, but my voice shook giving me away.

I heard him groan then the light flicked on, making me squint.

I couldn't see for a moment, my eyes adjusting to the sudden light. When my vision came back, Dally was standing in front of me. He wore only a pair of jeans and his hair was tussled. He crossed his arms and studied me.

"Okay, why'd you wake me?" He asked.

I considered lying, but knew he would know. I sighed and stepped closer to him.

"Uncle Ron hit Steve," I spoke trying not to sound so upset.

Dally had been through much worse things and would probably think I'm just being a baby. I expected him to mock me for being such a wimp or tell me to get lost, but he didn't.

He roughly grabbed my arm and led me to the bed, sitting me down. I looked up at him, my hair falling out of my face. He leaned down to look at me. My lips ran across his.

His hand then tugged on my hair. He pulled back and lifted my shirt over my head, and I let him.

He pulled off his own and laid me back on the bed, kissing me forcefully.

He reached forward and clicked off the lamp by the bed, making it pitch black again.

I let him take me into the spiralling darkness, into an explosion of pain and pleasure. I let him take control of my body. I let him take my mind away from my problems so I could get lost in him. I gave myself to him completely. And I loved it.

* * *

><p>I was sore when I woke up. My body ached in places it never did before. I didn't seem to mind though.<p>

I rolled out of bed and washed my face in his little washroom. The cold water woke me up a little, but I was too drowsy to get dressed just yet.

I crawled back into the bed beside Dally, warm under the covers.

I pushed back his hair and smiled when he made a happy sigh in his sleep. Asleep he looked innocent and content. I wished he could be like that all the time, but knew it would never be possible. Awake he was dangerous, wild and lawless. But asleep he was just another guy.

I touched his hair again. It was so soft I couldn't help myself. He squinted his eyes tight then opened them slowly.

"Quit playing with my hair." He demanded, swatting at my hand.

"Not much of a morning person?" I teased.

He groaned and rolled away from me, closing his eyes again.

"You're cute when you're asleep," I told him.

He rolled back towards me and glared. "Don't call me that."

"Cute?" I laughed.

He glared once again then forced his lips against mine to shut me up.

It worked.

* * *

><p>I was humming cheerfully as I walked into Soda's house.<p>

"Where the hell were you?" Steve screamed at me as soon as I walked in.

_Oh, shit, I forgot about him._

The side of his face was bruised now, clearly a handprint.

"I...uh… went to Buck's." I stammered out, unable to think of an excuse.

"What?" He screamed, "And didn't come back!"

I bit my lip, realizing what that meant. Being at Buck's all night isn't something Steve should know I did.

"Well… I couldn't sleep, so I went out and I…" My mind searched for a valid excuse, one that wouldn't seem too suspicious. "Dally saw me and I was pretty drunk so he let me sleep in his room so I could sleep it off and he left saying he would sleep somewhere else," I told him quickly, hoping he would buy it.

He stared me down for a little while.

I tried my best to keep my face emotionless. I was never very good at lying.

Just then, my saving grace walked in.

"Hey, guys!" He stopped when he realized how tense the room was. "Whoa, who died?"

"Two-Bit, you were at Buck's yesterday, right?" Steve asked his eyes still on me.

"Sure was," He replied.

I broke my gaze away from Steve's and looked at Two-Bit, praying he wouldn't ruin this for me.

"Did Dally, sleep there?" Steve sternly asked, still watching me.

Two-Bit opened his mouth, but caught my eyes just in time. "I don't think so, pretty sure he left. I was pretty bombed at the time but that's what I remember," He lied smoothly.

I held in my sigh of relief. Two-Bit may not be book smart, but he can figure things out if he needs to. I guess he could read my look better than Steve, because Steve turned away accepting my excuse.

"I owe you one," I whispered to Two-Bit when we were alone.

"Big time."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**First of all, big thank you to my wonderful beta, TaylorPaige24. Also, thanks to my reviewers and followers, you guys make it all worth while! So what did you think of this chapter? Review and let me know! I'll update again soon! :)**


	8. Chapter 8 Cry

_Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'Cry' by Rihanna._

Chapter Eight-Cry

_I should've never let you hold me baby,  
>Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart.<br>I didn't give to you on purpose,  
>Can't figure out how you stole my heart.<br>My mind is gone, I'm spinning 'round.  
>And deep inside, my tears I'll drown.<br>I'm losing grip, what's happening?  
>I stray from love, this is how I feel.<em>

I awoke gasping, once again.

Nightmares have taken over my dreams lately. Always the same sort of thing, always terrifying. Uncle Ron's outburst triggered most of them.

I don't enjoy going there now, not without Steve anyways.

The perspiration on my back causes me to shiver slightly.

Nestling myself deeper into the blankets I try my best to calm down.

"Dally? You awake?" I whisper into the darkness.

I couldn't see my own hand in front of me. This room is always pitch black.

I stay here often. It's only here that I truly feel safe.

"Mm," He moans in response. I sigh lightly and roll closer to him.

"What you want?" He grumbles to me.

I roll my eyes. He couldn't see them with the darkness that filled the room. "Just can't sleep."

He knows it's more than that. He knows I've had another nightmare.

I don't want to talk about it anymore than he wants to ask me about it.

I hear him move then feel his arm around me.

He sloppily presses his lips against mine. He pulls away and rolls back over, moving away from me.

"Dally, tell me something about yourself." I popped up.

"What?" He groaned through his sleepiness.

"We've been seeing each other for a while and I don't even know you. What was New York like? Your childhood? Your parents?"

"It don't matter. None of that matters," his voice was laced with venom.

"Yes it does, Dally. I want to know. You're so closed off all the time; it's like I don't even know who you really are." I softly informed him.

"What the hell is with you broads? Nothing's ever enough for you, you always got to get personal. I let you stay here. I let you wake me up in the middle of the fucking night without saying anything, but that's not enough; you need to pick at me. Fuck." He slings the pillow over his ears so he wouldn't be able to hear anymore.

He was getting himself worked up, and I knew he was extremely upset. In the whole time we've been together he would never talk about himself. I could care less if he was getting aggravated or not. I would ask him a question and he'd either ignore it or get angry. It is the same routine. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of dating someone I don't even know, and I'm sick of being with someone so cold.

"What's with me?" I asked incredulously. "How about you, Dally? I'm normal, I actually care about people, have emotions other than anger. I just want to know who you are, is that so much to ask?"

The light flicked on and I shielded my eyes in the sudden light.

Once my eyes had adjusted I sat upright and wrapped the soft blanket tightly around my naked body.

He sat on the other side of the bed glaring at me. "Yeah, it is. If you're going to just sit here and nag me why don't you get lost?"

"No, Dally. I'm not leaving. I'm not done! I'm tired of trying to figure you out, Dal. You block everyone out of your life, you block me out!" I felt myself getting angrier with every word I threw out.

"Yeah, well, that's me. If you don't like it, leave." He snapped coldly.

"No! Damn it!" My voice shook with anger. "That's not… okay, Dally! You can't live like that. You can't just hide from your past and bottle everything up and never let anyone in!"

"Why the fuck not?" His voice rose.

"Because that's not living, Dally! It's just surviving! That isn't life, it's hiding from life!" I yelled, trying to get through to him. "Remember our first fight, Dally?" My voice went down but still filled with venom. "You said I was pathetic, Dal. I'm not pathetic, you are. Your way of living is pathetic, Dally."

"Don't talk to me like that." His voice had taken a low dangerous tone telling me to back off.

I shrunk back a little in fear, then cursed myself for my fear of angry men.

I sat back up straight. He had never hit me before, and I doubt that he would. I just can't help but be frightened of that tone.

"I think I should go," I said quietly my tone still strong.

He didn't reply, but kept his angry stare on me.

I slid out of the bed and threw on my clothes.

Opening the door, I stopped to look back at him. He lay staring at the ceiling, his eyes burning with rage.

I made sure to slam the door behind me as I left.

* * *

><p>I spent the day with Soda and Steve. They're more enjoyable to hang out with than Dally.<p>

I thought about him a lot though despite my best efforts. I questioned if he thinks about me. My answer was, not.

I don't think we're broken up. I still have his ring in my dresser and neither of us actually said 'it's over.' It's only been a couple days, but I've been getting anxious as to when I will see him next.

I don't want to break it off, but at the same time I don't want to be with him. Not when he's like this.

He won't change. It tears me apart, the way I hate the thought of not being his girl, but can't take it when I am.

"Stacy? Stacy?" The call snaps me out of my daze.

"Huh?" I ask, confused.

Soda is standing in front of me, a worried look on his face.

"I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes now. You alright? You don't seem like yourself lately." He's voice full of concern.

I look around inside the DX station. Steve must be out in the garage because he wasn't in his normal spot behind the counter.

"Yeah, I don't know. I'll be alright," I tell him, smiling to convince him.

"Okay," he says reluctantly, "but, you know if you need to talk to someone I'm here. You can tell me anything, alright?"

_Okay, I've been sleeping with Dallas Winston, even after Steve told me not to go near him and now I'm too deep in the relationship to get out and it hurts. A lot. _

I quietly sigh knowing I could not take him up on his offer.

I nod in response and give him a small smile. I'm glad he's trying, at least. I'm glad someone noticed and actually cares.

Steve hasn't even noticed if I've been acting different.

If he has, he's doing a fine job of just ignoring it.

* * *

><p>Walking up to Buck's place I can feel my stomach turn my body filled with nervousness.<p>

I'm not here to apologize, I'm not here to try to make things better, I'm just here to figure out what in the world was going on. To figure out if he wants me to be his girl. More importantly, I'm here to decide if _I want_ to stay his girl.

Stepping inside I notice it's filled with the usual drunk greasers. People are shouting and the music is thumping to the latest hits.

I push past some guys, trying to find him. The longer I search, the more my head hurts, and the worse my stomach feels like it's tied up in knots. I just want to find him and get out of there. No way was I in the mood to party.

As I make my way across the room I hear him laugh.

It's a dry laugh, empty of humor, but it's deep and easily recognizable for me.

I turn to stare back in the direction it came from.

He stood with his hand against the wall, his face tilted slightly downwards towards a scantily clad blond girl who was giggling loudly.

I felt the anger rush through me, charging me with hatred.

I watch as he leans down to kiss her, the way he had kissed me so many times.

His ring suddenly weighs a million pounds, but I don't move to take it off, not yet.

I storm towards them, knocking people out of my way, and stopping a few feet from the two who have yet to notice me.

"Dallas!" I shout so loudly most the people around me turn to look.

His face pulls away from the girl as he turns towards me.

His eyes hold no emotion, on his face there is no sign of regret or guilt or even concern. It hurts worse to see that than to see them kissing.

My stomach drops as I realize he doesn't care he was caught. Tears blur my vision but I hold them back, unable to give him the satisfaction of that.

"Is that it?" I'm grateful my voice doesn't shake. "I'm not around so you just replace me with some whore! We're done Dallas, I'm done putting up with your bullshit and being in your pathetic life!"

Hastily, I grab at the ring on my finger. Yanking it off, I throw it at him as hard as I can.

I feel the tears ready to fall and run.

I bolt past everyone, into the street. I don't stop until I'm down the street and at the park. Tears flow freely down my face and I angrily wipe them away.

Of course he's cheating on me. How could he not be? How could I expect anything better from someone like him? I hate him for it and I hate myself for trusting him. That is how our relationship started after all; with him cheating on his girl.

I look around myself and sit down on the ground, laying back against a tree. Knowing no one is near, and the darkness will hide me, I let myself cry louder.

As much as I wish I expected this, as much as I wish I knew better, I didn't. And it hurts.

He didn't even utter a word. His face showed he was not sorry. He kept his cold mask on, he kept his _cool_.

He didn't care, he never cares about anything. That's the definition of Dallas Winston.

I sob and bury my head in my hands wishing I didn't care either.

There's no way to know how much time passed. My sobs had quieted but the tears still streamed down my face.

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to think, breathe, or do anything except sit here and drown in my own pain.

I probably deserve it. I stole him from Sylvia in the first place. I let him take me; let him have my trust when I knew I shouldn't have.

For some reason, I was too stupid to listen to the smart little voice in my head, too stupid to listen to Steve or _myself_.

"Hey!"

A voice made me jump and let out a small squeal.

Laughter filled the cold crisp air; it was light and joyful.

A boy came around from behind the tree I was sitting near and looked at me, grinning still. "Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's alright," I mumbled, pushing my hair out of my face.

I expected him to leave, but he didn't.

"Hey, you alright?" His voice was filled with concern.

"Yeah," I lied.

I wanted him to go away, but simultaneously I didn't want to be left alone.

"No you ain't. I'd like to know who's got the balls to make a pretty girl like you cry like this," he told me.

I wiped at my face and forced my tears to stop.

"You smoke?" He asked, holding one out to me.

"No, I don't smoke," I declined.

His match flared; the light burning through the dark night.

He smoked silently a few minutes before speaking again, "I'm James."

I looked at him then, wondering who he was and where he came from.

What was his reason to wander into the park and comfort some random girl he found crying her eyes out?

"And you are?" He pressed on.

Getting a whiff of his breath I smelt the beer he'd been drinking.

"Stacy," I told him.

He grinned at me then, his smile was crooked but it fit him. His long dark hair was greased, labelling him a greaser. His eyes were a hazel color, very cheerful and happy.

I didn't question if he was dangerous, something in the pit of my stomach told me he was not.

He had an easy-going, caring way about him, keeping me from feeling uncomfortable. He wasn't a hood looking for some action; he was just a cute boy who was, for some reason, concerned about me.

"Nice to meet you." His politeness seemed out of place in this neighbourhood, but I didn't question it.

I liked it.

"So, what you doing wandering in the park?" I asked.

I was relieved to have something to do other than cry, something to take my mind off things.

"Uh-uh, I asked you first. Why were you crying like that?"

The question made me want to cry again, his voice was gentle and it soothed me.

"Boy trouble." I groaned, unwilling to go into detail.

"Ugh, boys! They're awful, aren't they?" He joked. "That's why I prefer women."

I laughed at his silly remark, and it relieved some of the tension growing inside me. It felt good to laugh. It became quiet between us, but it was a comfortable silence.

"You really care about him, don't you?" His voice had grown serious again.

"Sadly, I did..." I hated having to admit it.

"Did?" He questioned lightly.

I turned towards him again, I had been wondering if he would make a move on me considering we _were_ alone in the dark.

"Caught him cheating on me tonight. Broke it off." My voice sounded strange, even to me.

"That's low," James commented, he was watching me intently, waiting for me to start crying again.

I wouldn't though, I had cried enough tonight.

"I know. I won't put up with that, though. I'm not going to let him use me like that." My voice grew stronger.

He may have used me and hurt me, but at least I was smart enough to get away before he did any worse.

"Atta girl!" James encouraged. "It's good to hear some broad's ain't dumb enough to put up with stuff like that. I've met so many girls who let guys use them, sooner or later, they end being all used up."

I knew what he was talking about. Girls like Sylvia, who don't have morals anymore, don't have respect for themselves. Greasy girls who let guys cheat on them or beat them or walk all over them and end up unable to see good in themselves or anyone else anymore.

I wouldn't end up like that.

I smiled warmly at him. "What about you?" I asked, "You got a girl?"

"Not at the moment," he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and prepared myself for him to start hitting on me, to start giving me corny compliments and trying to get my number.

He didn't, though and after a moment of silence I spoke again.

"So, you never told me why you're wandering around in the park by yourself."

"Ah! That. Well, I was out with some friends, and now I'm..." he lowered his voice as though it were some big secret, "...a little crocked."

I grinned at him and he went on.

"So I left the party to go for a walk with my one buddy David, then, before I knew it, he was gone. I started walking towards what I thought was my street, but ended up here. Then I heard you crying and figured I'd ask for directions, but, when I saw your face all sad and stuff I thought maybe I should stay here with you. So, here I am." He slurred a few words, but made it through his story fairly well for someone drunk enough to get lost in a park.

He kind of reminded me of Two-Bit, not in his looks, just in the way he spoke.

His voice had a humorous undertone to it as he told his story, joking about his own drunken stupidity.

"Where do you live?" I asked.

"Whoa, we're still only on a first name basis, I don't know if I should give out that information yet."

I laughed at him.

"No, really," he went on, "What if you're a stalker or you want to rob me or something?"

I just laughed harder at him. "Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of giving you directions."

"Oh." He looked at me for a moment, smiling.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, confused by his stare.

"Nothing. You're just... cute when you laugh," he said honestly.

I blushed a little bit grateful the darkness would hide me.

He stood up then, suddenly. "420 Elm St."

"I think I know where it is. Let's go." I told him, standing beside him.

"You're coming too?" He asked, surprised.

"I'm no good at giving directions. Besides, in the state you're in, I doubt you'll make it home without my help," I explained, walking towards Elm Street.

We talked on the way to his place he kept me laughing a lot.

When we finally got there he invited me in, but I politely told him I couldn't. Steve's probably worried about me as it is.

I doubt this boy will remember who I am in the morning since the more he talked the more I realized just how drunk he really was.

Deep down I hoped he would remember me.

After a horrible, painful night, I got to sleep feeling light and happy.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Big thank you again to my wonderfully helpful beta, TaylorPaige24! Thanks to my reviewers too, I'm so glad you guys liked that last chapter! What did you think of this one? Opinions on what Dally did? Opinions on James? I love to hear from you guys so keep up the great reviews! :)**


	9. Chapter 9 Thinking of You

_Disclaimer: I don't own 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry._

Chapter Nine-Thinking of You

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth,  
><em>_He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself.  
>'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you,<br>Thinking of you, what you would do,  
>If you were the one who was spending the night,<br>I wish that I was looking into your eyes._

The sun shinned brightly overhead as I walked down the street with Steve and Two-Bit. They were talking through words I could not hear.

I no longer felt the relief and happiness from last night. Now all that filled my body was emptiness and sorrow.

Dally had cheated on me. I cared about him, but he didn't give a damn.

I would probably never see James again. He more than likely didn't even remember who I am.

I wanted to cry again, but would refrain from that.

I didn't want to leave the house today, but did. I had to, because if I didn't act normal, Steve would start asking questions. Just another bonus to keeping my thing with Dally a secret.

I regretted trusting him, regret letting myself get so attached.

I don't regret being with him though. For some reason, I can't regret having his ring on my finger or kissing him or breaking the law with him.

I couldn't regret it because I loved it, because it filled me with so much life.

I just wish I had known it would come to this. I wish I could go back and tell myself 'don't get your hopes up.'

We stopped and went into The Dingo. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to pay attention to anything else.

Looking around, we noticed Ponyboy and Johnny in a booth at the back and went to join them.

The place was packed with the notorious lunch crowd.

The boys around me talked and laughed loudly, and I found myself irritated that I was alone.

I just wanted to go home and have some time to myself. I was sick of this place, sick of this town.

I suddenly missed my mother so strongly I nearly burst into tears right there.

I hadn't seen her in so long.

Sure, I talk to her on the phone a lot, but it wasn't the same as her physically being here.

"Are you okay?" Johnny's quiet voice asked from beside me.

I hadn't thought anyone noticed me in my sorrows.

As I glanced around the table, I realized no one did, except for Johnny.

"Homesick," it was only partly true.

He simply nodded a slight smile and turned his attention elsewhere.

A familiar voice in the loudness of the crowd caught my attention.

I looked around searching for him.

Sitting at a table half-way across the room from me he sat. With him was another boy hunched down with his back to me.

James didn't look to good. Dark circles could be seen under his eyes and he didn't hold a cheerful grin like he did last night.

I watched him only a moment longer before switching my attention back to the guys at my table.

He wouldn't remember me, so I'm not going to go talk to him.

I took a quick bite of Johnny's fries not hungry enough to order some of my own.

I watched absent-mindedly as Two-Bit made jokes and annoyed the waitresses. I don't understand why they don't just kick him out. Maybe they secretly enjoy all his crazy antics.

"Stacy!" My name was called out.

I looked up to see James looking down at me.

"Was wondering if you were going to come talk to me or just stare all day?"

I felt my face warm up a little.

"Didn't think you'd remember me. It's just short of a miracle that you do," I teased.

Noticing all the guys at the table were now interestedly listening in on our conversation, I shifted nervously.

"Who's this?" Steve asked in an unfriendly tone.

"James Pratt," James introduced himself.

I was relieved he didn't start something with Steve, even though his glare definitely asked for it.

"Thanks for getting me home last night," he said, turning back to me.

"Any time."

The boys turned back to what they had been doing before, leaving me to talk to James more privately.

I could tell Steve was still paying attention, though.

"Are you here with someone?" I questioned.

"I was; he left." He surprised me.

"You want to go for a walk or something? Get out of here?" I suggested, irritated with being listened to.

"Sure do."

Steve didn't look to happy as we stood up to leave.

I shrugged it off and went on.

He had really been getting on my nerves lately. He's my cousin, and I love him, but sometimes he drives me crazy with all his over-protectiveness.

We stepped outside into the cool air.

"So, were you in trouble for getting home so drunk last night?" I popped up, interested in knowing more about him.

"No, I live by myself, actually."

"Oh, how old are you?"

He didn't look old enough to live on his own.

"Seventeen. I dropped out of high school a couple years back and got a decent-paying job. What about you?" He seemed to be anxious to change the subject off of himself.

"I'm seventeen too, actually, and I live with my aunt now. I'm not from around here but my mom couldn't afford to keep me around so I offered to come live down here." I opened up.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" He chimed in as we neared the DX station.

"Nothing."

Usually I'd be sneaking around with Dally.

I forced that thought out of my mind and focused on the boy in front of me.

"Come to the movies with me," he smiled.

I innocently but my lip and agreed happily.

I needed this, a guy who wouldn't tear me apart. Someone I could be close to without being afraid of getting hurt.

I needed to get my mind away from Dally.

* * *

><p>Steve wasn't too happy about my plans, but on the bright side I don't have to hide this one from him. It's too exhausting anyway.<p>

I pulled my hair up, and then took it down again to shake it about. It won't go the way I want it to, so I brushed it out and left it at that.

My skirt flew just below my knees.

I felt like I haven't been on a date in forever!

Hearing a knock at the door I rushed down the stairs almost losing my step a couple of times.

Once I managed to reach the last step Steve propped the door open.

He looked unhappily at the boy in front of him.

"Hi, James," I chirped happily, breaking the obvious awkward tension between them.

"Ready to go?"

I nodded and walked towards him.

Steve stands his ground in front of the doorway, watching us. It was his way of intimidating James, I guess. I turned and give him a quick hug, catching him off guard.

"Calm down, Steve. We're just going to the movies." I whispered before letting him go and leaving with James.

"He's pretty uptight, huh?" James asked once we're in his car.

It's not a nice car, but I can tell he takes good care of it.

"Yeah, he's just not used to me dating."

"Is he your brother?"

"No, cousin. I'm an only child." I informed him.

I didn't know him well enough to explain to him the whole situation with my father.

"Another reason mom decided to ship me out here; I get bored in the country. She figured I'd have more fun here, and stay out of trouble."

"You're a troublemaker?" He questioned surprise evident in his voice.

"When I want to be." I gave him a sly smile.

As we stood in line waiting to pay, I couldn't help but think about how much easier it is to sneak in.

Dally always snuck in.

I mentally slapped myself for letting him into my thoughts tonight.

James paid for the both of us, and let me pick our seats.

His kindness made me smile. It's been too long since I was treated the way I should be.

"James, my boy! Is that you?" A loud, obnoxious voice shouted from right behind us.

We both turn at the same time to face a tall boy with way too much hair grease and a cocky grin.

"Hey, Tommy, how you been, man?" James replies.

"Good. Meet this little hot-shot girl at a party a couple nights ago." He motioned towards the platinum blonde haired girl beside him.

She looked familiar to me, but I couldn't place her at the moment.

"Decided I couldn't let something fine as this get away," he complimented her rubbing her thigh seductively.

She broke into a fit of giggles but didn't push his hand away.

That's when it clicked.

I knew that laugh, those stupid ditzy-sounding giggles. She was the girl who was with Dallas at the party. The one he cheated on me with.

"This is Angela Shepard," the guy finally introduced her to James.

"Nice to meet you," he smiled charmingly at her.

I felt a pang of anger and jealously rush through me.

"I'm James, and this is Stacy," James introduced us to them.

Just looking at her made me sick.

I hated her. I hated her with everything inside me.

James and Tom continued to talk until the movie started when they were shushed by those near us.

I stayed out of the conversation focusing on the silly cartoon they played before the movie.

I couldn't turn and see her face again. I couldn't listen to her giggle. The same giggle that came before Dally's kiss.

It scraped on my nerves.

Turning around, James placed his arm around my shoulders. It was warm and comfortable, but he didn't make a move.

He won't push for more than he should. That's new to me as well; it was not the type of move Dally would make.

The movie was kind of boring, but we didn't talk through it.

After about half an hour, I didn't want to be there anymore.

I felt as though I was going to fall asleep at any moment.

James seemed comfortable, though, so I don't say anything. Standing, I excused myself to the washroom.

The mirror in front of me was cracked at the top.

I pulled some lip gloss out of my small purse and re-applied it.

As great as James has been all night, I didn't want to go back in there. It's too close to Angela, and her and Dally are all I could think about.

The washroom door opened and slammed closed.

Walking in was none other than the devil herself.

I sighed in frustration and threw the lip gloss back into my bag.

"Hey!" Her tone was angry. "What the fuck did I do to you? You've been giving me dirty looks all night! You don't even fucking know me!"

"Fuck you." I barked.

My voice rose so loudly I frightened even myself.

"You're a whore! You make out with my boyfriend two nights ago, now you already got a new guy!"

She was speechless not realizing how angry I was with her.

The surprise was wiped off her face as she composed herself.

"Dallas Winston's your boyfriend?" Her voice calmer than before.

"Was." I corrected.

A look of recognition crossed her face as she remembered me from that night, making a scene and throwing his ring at him.

She jumped up, sitting on the counter. Her shoulders slumped a little as she played with the end of her hair.

"He cares about you, you know." She said, after some hesitation.

"Who?" I was confused by her sudden calmness.

I was still angry to the point where I wanted to hit something.

"Dallas. I never seen him act the way he did about you."

"What do you mean?" I forced my voice to be calmer, even though I was furious.

"After you flipped out. I was pretty drunk so I tried to get him to… forget about you," she picked her words carefully but anger flashed in my eyes, causing her to rush on. "Anyways, he pushed me away. Called me some pretty nasty things too. He was really upset about you; he's never turned me down before."

The cockiness of her last statement hit me hard.

My eyes narrowed at her, and I stepped closer to her.

She could see my intentions of scratching her eyes out, so she shifted over further from me.

"Really though. Something about you is just… different. To Dally, anyways. He said…" she paused, arguing with herself weather he should tell me or not.

"Spit it out." I demanded, growing impatient.

"Don't get snippy to me." She warned.

I calmed myself and gave her an apologetic look.

"After he pushed me away he said I could never be anything to him. I could never be you. No one could." She sighed, "That's pretty big for Dally, even if he was kind of crocked. He actually admitted that you mean something to him."

I stared her down, trying to decide if she were lying, if she were trying to pull something.

She shifted uncomfortably.

"Look, I'm trying to be nice here, okay? I feel kind of bad about it. I was in a bad mood that night and just looking for some fun so I figured I'd go find Dally like I always do." Sighing in frustration at my un-changing expression she pressed on. "All I'm saying is, you and Dal obviously got something. If I were you, I wouldn't just throw it away."

I thought that over, only half-believing her words.

Finally, I gave her a small nod. "Thanks,"

I sat back next to James in the theatre even though my mind was far away.

Dally doesn't really care about me, does he? No, he can't. I saw his face when I caught him, he didn't care.

I mentally shook myself and looked over at James. Guilt overtook me as I realized I was on a date with him but thinking of someone else. Why can't I just be happy on a date with James?

When it finally ended, James took my hand, leading me from the theatre.

The sky had become dark and the stars were bright up above.

"What you think of the movie?" James asked me.

"Meh, it was alright,"

"Really? I liked it," he smiled. "Hey, are you alright? You seem kind of… distant."

His concern only made me feel guiltier for thinking about Dally.

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied.

His eyes told me he was not convinced, but he shrugged it off anyways, understanding I don't want to talk about it.

He turned to head towards his car, but I stopped him.

"I don't want to go home yet."

That can't be the end of our date. It was too... boring.

"Well, what do you want to do?" He chirped.

"I don't know, let's go try to find a party or something," I suggested.

"Won't your cousin be upset if you get home drunk and late?" He's smiled, but there was concern in his eyes.

Who cares if Steve's upset? I've dealt with him being angry at me before. I could handle Steve.

My mind reminded me how Dally never cared about that stuff. Dally never worried about Steve or getting in trouble. Dally _tried_ to get in trouble. He was fearless.

I angrily pushed my thoughts away, again.

Dally doesn't matter anymore. What matters now is James and if he doesn't want to upset Steve that's okay. It's good of him to try to keep me out of trouble.

It's just not fun.

"You're right," I reluctantly agreed knowing it's the right thing to do.

James took me home, Elvis played quietly from his car radio.

He got out of the car and walked me to the door, like the gentleman he's been all night.

Stopping to look up at him on my doorstep, I knew this was when he's supposed to kiss me.

His lips reached mine pressing against them for only a few moments before breaking away.

It's short and sweet, but I had been expecting much more.

He smiled at me, and I returned it instinctively.

"Let me take you to dinner on Sunday," he offered.

I thought for only a moment before nodding.

* * *

><p>Staring at the ceiling, I wondered what was going on with me. I'm different, I've changed. Before, that would be considered a perfect date. James was gentle and caring and attentive, yet I wanted more.<p>

I wanted adventure, and fun. I wanted to break the rules and do what I want because I want to.

I never used to be like that. I used to be content with guys like James, used to be happy with dates like tonight's.

Not anymore. Now, all I wanted was Dally.

I hated myself for it. For thinking about him all night when I was with James.

I couldn't help it though. Dally had changed me. I was too used to breaking the law and feeling that rush of adrenaline and danger. I was too used to the way he kissed me and made my heart beat faster.

He didn't _care_ about me.

I wished I could believe what Angela told me.

I couldn't though. Even if he did care about me, he won't show it. It's too hard to live with that.

I wouldn't go back to Dally. James is what I needed; he's what's good for me.

Maybe with James I'll be able to get back the old me, the way I used to be.

Before Dallas Winston entered my life.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Big thank you again to my amazing beta TaylorPaige24, who also helped me out of my writers block for this chapter. Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers as well, you guys are the best! Keep reviewing, this chapter was kind of slow, but the next few are going to be real good. So keep reviewing please! :)**


	10. Chapter 10 Hate That I Love You

_Disclaimer: I do not own 'Hate That I Love You,' by Rihanna._

Chapter Ten-Hate That I Love You

_But I hate it...  
>You know exactly how to touch,<br>So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more.  
>Said I despise that I adore you.<br>And I hate how much I love you boy,  
>I can't stand how much I need you.<em>

"You look really nice tonight," James complemented as we sat across from each other.

The restaurant wasn't fancy by any means, but it wasn't run-down either.

"Thanks," I bit my lip, a little nervous to be on such a private date.

It made me feel a bit grown up, to be honest.

I half expected things to be a little awkward, but the conversation was relaxed and free between us.

I was really beginning to like James. He was easy to talk to and made me laugh. He was also very mature for his age, living on his own and paying the bills and whatnot.

"So, do you like kids?" James asked me as our food arrived.

I tried not to order anything too expensive, since I knew he lived on this side of town.

"Um, yeah. Sure I do. Why?"

His question caught me a little off guard.

"I don't know it's just something that's important to me." He quietly spoke digging into his food.

I just smiled and shrugged it off.

After dinner, we drove to Bucks.

It was Saturday night, so the party was more crowded than usual.

The body heat alone in the place was enough to warm a small house in the dead of winter.

We spent the first little while talking to everyone we knew.

James introduced me to a few of his friends and we drank and laughed with them.

Then came the dancing. Not surprisingly, James was a real good dancer.

I hadn't been drinking too much, so by the time we decided to head home I was only slightly tipsy.

We were just about to leave when I heard someone screaming James' name over the noise.

James wheeled around, searching for the voice.

"James!" She called again, I found myself peering through the crowd as well, trying to find her.

James let out a small, frustrated, sigh and turned towards me.

"Stace, I have to go talk to someone, okay? Just wait here; I'll only be a minute." He yelled over the music.

I nodded in response and took a seat on a bar stool.

I watched him approach a small girl. Her brown hair was messy and she didn't look dressed for a party. Her stance showed she was obviously upset about something.

As soon as James was in listening distance, she started yelling frantically at him

I couldn't hear her over all the noise, but whatever her problem was it sounded like it was his fault.

I wondered for a moment if maybe she was his girlfriend or something, and I had been-once again-helping some scumbag cheat. But James isn't like that, he can't be.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Someone spoke from behind me.

I didn't want to turn around, to see him again. But he would think I'm a coward if I don't. Besides, I shouldn't be the one avoiding him, he should be avoiding me.

"Get lost." I voiced angrily.

"No," he refused.

I whipped around to face him, filled with anger. "You are scum, Dally. Didn't you get that before? I don't want anything to do with you!" I snapped at him.

He didn't give me any snarky comeback. He just stepped in close and kissed me-hard. I felt the world spin the way it always did when he kissed me, the rush tingle through me.

I had to fight that, though. Couldn't give in to him. I pushed hard on his chest, but instead of pushing him away, I only managed to knock myself backwards and off my stool.

The few people who saw let out loud laughs and I could feel my face heat up.

Looking back to where James had been, I was relieved to see he hadn't noticed me and was still having a heated argument with the frail-looking girl.

I jumped back up onto my feet and glared at Dally. His amused smirk made me want to hit him.

"Awe, don't tell me you don't miss me, toots." Dally teased, making my face redder.

"No! Actually, I don't. I've moved on." I sneered.

"With that little James kid? Ha! He's just a rebound," he said, leaning against the bar.

"He's not. He's more than you'll ever be."

That got under his skin. I could see the anger flash behind his eyes as he stared at me.

"You're lying," he called my bluff.

I ground my teeth together, trying not to scream out at him and attract more attention. Glancing back to where James had been, he was gone.

I was suddenly worried that he had gone off with that girl, but shook myself. I'm just being paranoid. Thanks to Dallas, who knows if I'll ever completely trust a guy again.

"You know what? You aren't even worth my time." I said, turning to leave.

I'm not going to stand here and let him aggravate me.

"How often do you think about me while you're with him?" Dally asked the back of my head, his voice uncaring.

I huffed loudly and spun back around, my hands shaking with rage. "I don't!" I lied. "_I_, unlike you, am not disgusting! There aren't even enough words to describe how awful you are! You're a no-good, worthless hood!" I shouted, not caring anymore who saw.

"But you don't mind," he said cockily, acting as though he knew the effect he had on me.

I had tried so hard to hide the fact that I cared about him at all because he didn't care about me. But he knew I was nothing like him.

"You're an arrogant son of a bitch!"

I just wanted him to get angry again. I had to get to him the way he got to me.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you!"

His unchanging expression angered me even more.

"James is more my type anyways," I added.

The flick of anger in his eyes made the corners of my mouth turn up a little.

I found something that made him angry.

"He's better than you, just so you know," I lied calmly.

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he glared with hatred.

I didn't stop though, I was getting to him. "Better in every way," I told him with an evil smile.

He didn't know we had only kissed, and I was prepared to use that against him.

"Whore," he seethed. "One week and you're already in bed with some other guy? Thought you said you were different," he threw my words back at me.

"Thought you never believed me," I hissed back at him. "I thought I was always just some other whore? You certainly treated me like one."

"I didn't do shit to you!"

"Ha! How about cheat on me? Snap at me for the simplest things?" I stepped towards him. My voice had turned frantic as I couldn't understand how he thinks he didn't do anything to me. "You hurt me, Dally! You used me!"

His face had taken that cold stare, the one that showed he didn't care. The same look he had the night I saw him kiss Angela Shepard. My eyes felt watery, remembering the pain of that night.

"I hate you." My voice came out quieter than I wanted it, but the words were filled with venom.

I didn't think he heard me at first, but his eyes narrowed and I knew he did.

I didn't know if I were lying or not; saying something hurtful just to hurt him or if I actually meant it.

I hated the way he hurt me, the way he played with me.

I hated even more the way my heart fluttered whenever he touched me.

I hated the way I couldn't hate him.

"Join the club." He replied coolly.

I spun around, feeling a tear roll down my cheek. Why do I convince myself that he cares? Why do I think it'll matter if I tell him I hate him?

Storming out of the party, it all felt too much like déjà vu. It was the same as when I caught him cheating a week ago. Crying and pushing through the crowd, I felt suddenly as if I were back at that night.

Dally will never change. It'll always be painful with him.

The wind hit my face and I took a deep breath, calming myself. As I walked home, I suddenly wondered what had happened to James. It would be just my luck if he were off with that girl.

Felling empty, I walked down the deserted street, all alone wrapped deep in my own thoughts untouched with the rest of the world.

Suddenly a loud honk made me jump.

Looking back, all I could see were the bright headlights that blinded me.

"Hey baby!"

"Look at this greasy girl!"

"What you doin' walkin' all alone?"

A series of catcalls and whistles screamed towards me. I took a quick step back, knowing I was in danger. Steve had warned me about socs.

"Hey, where you going, girly?" A loud guy shouted as the car yanked forwards, cutting off the sidewalk I was walking on.

I turned quickly and tried to run, but strong arms were around me before I could get anywhere.

I screamed and shouted as loudly as I could, begging for someone to come help me.

The strong arms around me shifted as I tried to wiggle against him.

The one holding me threw me to the ground and pinned me before I could move.

"Feisty, huh?" He asked, only a little out of breath.

I was still shouting at the top of my lungs when he punched me hard in the face.

I my whole right side was immediately numbed as I quickly tried to shield myself.

Suddenly a cold chill of metal ran across my shivering skin.

I knew that touch, the feel of that metal when it touches your skin.

My mouth clamped itself shut as the blade pressed against my cold white skin sending chill bumps down my spine.

"That's a good girl, you just stay quiet now. We just want a good time," the guy on top of me said, smiling evilly.

The small whimper that escaped my throat was unrecognizable to me. It couldn't have been my voice.

Every inch of my body was shaking.

I didn't know if it was from the cold wind or simply the fact that I had a blade pressed to my throat.

I clamed my body as I tried ever-so-carefully, not to move. There was no telling what these people would do to me if I even thought about it.

Looking past the guy holding me down, I saw that there were only two other guys as his accomplishes.

One kneeled near me, holding to knife to my neck, while the other stood a few feet back and watched in amusement as if a show was being displayed for him.

The small alleyway they had me locked in was dark and cool. You could vaguely hear the sound of stray cats hissing in the distance. No one was around to hear the screams I dared not to scream. No one was around to save me.

The sound of cars came from the street just a few feet away. It seemed so far away from my reach.

I hadn't noticed through my struggling that we were moving.

The one on top of me was heavy, his weight on my stomach while his hands pinned down my arms. There was no possible way I could move.

"Now, you just stay still, or my buddy here will cut you." He warned calmly, still smiling.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to block him out, pretend I was somewhere else.

"No, no, none of that."

The blade pressed into me a little causing me to let out a loud yelp.

"Keep your eyes open," the guy on top of me demanded.

I opened my eyes reluctantly, biting my lip to keep from crying.

How are you supposed to get out of this?

I refrained from letting tears fall. I would not let these basters know they got to me.

My attempts were failed as small tiny tears slowly made their way down my check.

I couldn't fight back anymore.

The evil son-of-a-bitch, moved his hands off my arms, and slid them downwards until he was cupping my breasts.

I had the urge to push him off, to fight them as hard as I could. But I knew if I moved I would more than likely end up dead.

I wanted to groan, I wanted to scream at the tips of my lungs, but my mouth remained closed as I endured the suffering that was going to come.

His hands grabbed at the top of my dark blue blouse, pulling it open.

I could hear the buttons pooping off and cringed at the sound.

"Please, don't," my voice was weak and shaky.

His evil smile grew as he ignored me.

I realized then that was probably what he wanted to hear-me begging for him to stop.

I clamped my mouth shut, not willing to plead again.

He was sick, truly sick.

His hand traveled to my waist, tugging on my skirt.

I whimpered again, against my will.

As if with a blink of an eye, all was quiet; too quiet.

A loud thump and groan caught my attention as me and the two guys closest to me turned towards the noise.

There lay the third guy knocked out cold on the ground.

Above him stood Dally, a gun aimed at the guy on top of me toward his head.

All was still as we all looked on to the hero who had just rescued his damsel in distress.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

** So sorry it took so long to update! I've been crazy busy! Anyways, thank you, as always, to my beta TaylorPaige24. Thanks also again to all my reviewers, you guys are the best! So the next one shouldn't take as long to update, it'll be done soon. Review please! :)**


	11. Chapter 11 Bleeding Love

_Disclaimer: I don't own 'Bleeding Love,' it belongs to Leona Lewis._

Chapter Eleven-Bleeding Love

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you.  
>They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth.<br>My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing.  
>You cut me open and I keep bleeding,<br>Keep, keep bleeding love.

The relief that washed over me was so great I let out a loud sigh.

"Get off her." Dally commanded. His voice was cold and steely, absolutely terrifying.

The guy on top of me moved slowly, his weight lifting off my waist.

I rolled away from him as soon as I could and sat up, attempting to pull my ripped shirt together around me. I was cold, exposed and wanted to go home.

I watched the scene in front of me, not moving or speaking. Maybe I was in shock; my mind didn't process what was happening.

The two socs stood beside each other, both had their hands open, palms towards Dally showing him they weren't going to do anything.

The blade that had been pressed against my neck moments ago lay at their feet.

One was shaking visibly while the other looked like he was going to be sick.

Watching the horrified looks on their faces actually kind of made me want to smile.

_Not so funny when you're the helpless one, huh?_

Then I looked over to Dally. Anger burned in his eyes more violently than I had ever seen them. His expression was blank and his stance powerful. At that moment, he frightened even me.

The darkness of the alleyway made the whole scene complete. The darkness, the quiet, it was almost too perfect.

I stopped looking at Dally and the socs and my eyes trailed to the gun.

The black 9mm handgun placed in Dally's hand, pointed at the head of the guy who had been on top of me.

Everything about Dally at that moment said he would kill him, kill them both.

For a mere moment, I wanted him to do it. Pull the trigger. Kill them. In my mind, they are only two guys who attacked a random girl and tried to rape her.

Then my senses kicked in and I realized they had friends and families and lives.

Dally would go to jail if he did kill them.

"Dal..." I whispered, my fear coming back to me.

He didn't look at me, didn't even blink.

Had he heard me?

No one moved.

"Dally," I said a little louder.

This time his eyes flicked to me for only a moment.

When he looked back at the socs he looked even angrier, if it were possible.

I can imagine what he saw, looking at me, sitting on the cold cement, my knees pulled up close to my chest, hands clutching at the fabric of my shirt.

I could feel the tears falling freely from my face.

"Please... don't," one of the soc's begged.

I shivered slightly, remembering those words had come out of my mouth moments before.

"Why shouldn't I? Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you," Dally taunted, his voice threatening.

Neither of them spoke, afraid of how Dally would react.

"You'll go to jail," I spoke up.

Dally didn't pay me any attention, but the guys looked over at me in surprise.

He was going to do it; he was going to kill them. I could see it on his face, he wanted them dead.

"Dally, don't do it. It's not worth life in jail. Dally, please, put the gun down." I tried to reason with him.

He still didn't move.

Standing up, my knees shook.

Everything else around me seemed to stand still as I walk cautiously towards Dally.

I stood to his left, behind him. I had to make sure he was between me and them.

I put a hand on his arm, stepping closer to him when he didn't push me away.

I could feel his bicep twitching under his shirt, the only thing showing any nervousness at all.

"Dal," I whispered in his ear, "I know they deserve it. But you don't deserve going to jail for it."

His face became less tense.

"Please, Dally. Just put the gun down."

His arm slowly lowered, but he still held the gun tightly in his hand.

I could see both guys sigh with relief as they were no longer staring at the end of a pistol.

I slid my hand down his arm.

Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the gun, unsure of what Dally would do. Tugging it lightly, his grip slipped from it and I could pull it out of his hands.

As soon as the socs saw he no longer had the gun, they ran. But, as quickly as possible, Dally grabbed the collar of the one closest to us before he could get away.

I watched as the other scurried out of the alley and watched his car zoom past, leaving his friend behind.

Dally had the other pinned on the ground and was punching him repeatedly.

I took a couple steps back until my back hit the cold stony wall of the alley.

I leaned my head back against it, relieved the worst was over. I sunk to the ground, closing my eyes.

The only noise was that of Dally hitting the soc and an occasional grunt or _oof. _

The gun felt heavy in my hand.

I opened my eyes to look at it, examine it before me. I suddenly wondered what it would be like to shoot it. To pull the trigger and cause a loud shot of power.

"Let's go."

I looked up at Dally. He was watching me, impatience in his eyes.

Looking behind him, the soc was knocked out on the ground. The same one who had me pinned earlier was now only a bruised and bloody lump on the pavement.

A hand wrapped around my arm and hoisted me up.

Dally aggressively yanked the gun from my hand and put it coolly in the back of his pants, like they did in the movies.

He pulled me from the alley, his hand still holding my own.

I was growing tired of being man-handled and yanked my arm out of his grasp.

He spun around to face me, angrily.

As he looked at me, his expression softened.

"Come on, you got to get cleaned up," he told me.

I didn't speak, just began walking again, unsure where we were going.

* * *

><p>Bucks had died down a little, but there were still some people there and loud music playing. For the moment, I wanted to be anywhere else but here.<p>

Walking through, a few guys decided to shout and whistle in my direction, seeing how my clothes were torn off.

I ignored them, and Dally put a hand on my back, propelling me forwards faster and giving them dirty looks.

That shut them up.

Dally's little room had never been so comforting. Just being away from the crowd I could breathe easier.

I walked directly to the washroom, not speaking, and turned on the shower.

As the water warmed, I turned around to close the door, but Dally stood in the way.

I looked down, avoiding his gaze.

I don't know why, but I felt embarrassed. Dirty and gross. I just wanted to be alone.

"Look at me," Dally commanded firmly, but his voice was quiet.

I looked up, meeting his eyes. They weren't blazing or angry. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked worried.

He stepped closer to me, putting a finger under my chin to tilt my head towards the light.

He ran his thumb over my cheek, hurting it a little. I winced and he pulled his hand away quickly.

"I'm going to shower," I told him, my voice sounding funny.

He nodded and turned, walking out of the bathroom so I could have some space.

Once he was gone, I felt myself break down a little. A small sob escaped my lips, but I shook my head fervently, trying to keep from making any more noise. If I start crying now, I won't stop.

I pushed my hair back out of my face and looked up into the mirror.

I gasped at my reflection. My left cheek was bruised and swollen. Just under my chin was cut, a line of dried blood left there. My curly hair was a messy knot of tangles and my black make up was smeared around my eyes.

I looked like a wreck.

I turned away from my reflection. That girl in the mirror is not me. It can't be.

The shower water was hot. Hot enough to burn me, but I didn't turn it colder. I needed to wash everything off me; I needed to wash that nasty Soc off me.

I stayed in there until the water turned cold and my hands and feet were all shriveled.

Stepping out of the shower, I smiled faintly seeing that Dally had put a towel on the counter, along with one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers.

I dried myself off and slid into his clothes. They smelled like him-cigarettes and something that was uniquely Dally.

I slid out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam following me.

Dally looked up from the bed and stared at me for a moment. There was an awkward pause as I tried to decide if I should say something or not.

Finally, I decided against it.

I crawled onto it and nestled myself into his side.

He stiffened, but didn't push me away. Eventually, he relaxed again and I looked up at him.

"Thanks, Dally."

He gave me a reassuring smile and leaned over to turn off the light. For once, he didn't try anything, just let me sleep peacefully.

* * *

><p>Sticky sweat and a heavy blanket woke me in the morning.<p>

Groggy and hot, I shoved the blanket off of me, rolling away from the warm body next to me.

I checked the clock. Three in the afternoon.

I'm going to be in _so_ much trouble for staying out all night.

The memories of last night's events came rushing back to me.

I touched the throbbing at the side of my head, grimacing at the pain.

"Hey," Dally called from beside me.

I looked up at him as he rolled over and stood up.

He sauntered out of the room without another word.

I stared after him questionably then stood up myself, walking to the bathroom.

In my reflection, my cheek looked twice as bad as it was last night, but overall I looked seemingly better.

I was examining my cut when a dirty dishcloth was shoved in my face.

I took a step back at looked at Dally.

"Ice," he said.

I nodded and took it from him, pressing it lightly against my cheekbone. It throbbed painfully but I knew the ice would numb it.

I followed Dally back out of the bedroom and watched as he sat on the bed.

He pulled a smoke out of the pack on his dresser and lit it, inhaling deeply.

I crossed the room slowly and straddled his lap, facing him.

I took the cigarette from his mouth and kissed him.

I knew I was cheating on James, I knew I had promised myself I wouldn't go back to Dally. But I didn't care. James and I were really not official yet anyways; he hadn't asked me to be his girl. And I knew it would only be a certain amount of time before I gave into myself and went back to Dally.

I just didn't want to admit it.

He switched us around, laying me on the bed and crawling on top of me.

I let him take me as he had so many times before.

I lost myself in him as I loved to do.

I had tried to move on, convince myself I didn't need him. But, in the end I couldn't kid myself, I missed him terribly.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thank you to my wonderful beta TaylorPaige24, who is as helpful as always. Big thanks to all my reviews again, you guys keep me writing and keep me updating quick as I can, so kepp reviewing! :)**


	12. Chapter 12 I Wanna Be Bad

_Disclaimer: I do not own 'I Wanna Be Bad'. It belongs to Willa Ford._

Chapter Twelve-I Wanna Be Bad

_Should I boy?  
>Tell me what I got is what ya want.<br>Tell, Tell me do I, I turn you on?  
>I don't want no one judging me.<em>

_I wanna be bad._  
><em>You make bad look so good.<em>  
><em>I got things on my mind,<em>  
><em>I never thought I would.<em>  
><em>I, I wanna be bad.<em>

Walking into the Curtis', I closed the door softly behind me. It's probably the first time anyone has ever closed the door softly, everyone lets it slam.

I was greeted by the smell of dinner cooking and concerned stares.

"Stacy, where were you? We were looking all over for you." Soda informed me.

"Really?"

"Yeah, James went by your place thinking you went there, and when Steve said he didn't know where you were we got a little worried. Steve's freaking out."

As if on cue, Steve came barging through the door. His eyes nearly popped out of his head at the sight of me.

"Where the hell have you been?" He shouted.

I jumped, not expecting such an outburst.

He stared at me, angrily awaiting an answer.

Then, suddenly, I felt my temper flare. Where _was_ I? Getting attacked, nearly getting raped, but he doesn't care about that. He's my cousin, and I love him, but lately, I can't stand him. When I was depressed over Dally cheating on me, he didn't even notice.

"Stacy!" He broke me from my thoughts, demanding an answer.

I huffed loudly and turned totally towards him. I ran my hand through my hair, pushing my bangs out of my face.

A loud gasp came from somewhere in the room, and Steve's eyes widened at the sight of my bruised face.

I knew it didn't look too bad, I covered it with makeup. But it was still obviously there and slightly swollen.

"Sorry I didn't time to let you know I'd be home late, I was kind of busy getting jumped." I snapped angrily.

I didn't give him any time to say something back. I pushed past him and out of the house, sick of fighting.

It seemed these days I was always fighting with someone. Dally, Steve, Angela. I'm tired of it.

"Hey!"

I didn't turn to see who followed me, I knew who it was. I was nearly by the park by now, but didn't stop or even slow down. I wanted to be alone right now.

"Hey, are you alright?" Soda came jogging up beside me.

I didn't answer. I just kept walking, not wanting to say anything.

I came to a stop by the swings and sat down, digging my feet in the dirt. I used to love the swings when I was a little kid. Things were so much simpler back then.

"Remember being a little kid? Do you remember when you could run around in the park and forget you had any problems at all?" I said, half to myself.

Soda took a seat on the swing beside me and looked at me intently, waiting for me to go on.

"I wish I could stay like that. I wish... I don't know. I want to be able to shut off my mind and focus completely on chasing a butterfly." I dramatically sighed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

By the way he said it, I knew he did. I liked that he seemed to understand, it was comforting to know it's not just me who feels like this.

To be a small child again. To not have a care in the world. I just wished I had taken more advantage of that time than I did.

* * *

><p>I sat in the passenger seat of James' car, hoping that I was acting normal or at least partially normal<p>

He had called me late yesterday to see if anyone had found me yet. I explained to him about me getting jumped but didn't mention Dally. Now that I was sitting here, seeing him, talking to him, I was overwhelmed with guilt.

He was so worried about me when he couldn't find me, and freaked out when he heard I was jumped. I tried telling him I was alright but he insisted he take me out today. I think he kind of felt guilty for leaving me to go talk to that girl, but I didn't blame him for anything.

I felt awful for cheating on him, though. He's been so good to me, so perfect. He obviously cares about me too, seeing how worried he's been. How could I do that to him?

Every time I looked at him I felt the pang of guilt and every time I smiled at him I felt like I was lying. I knew I'd have to tell him soon, but I just didn't want to lose him.

He wasn't anything like Dally. He didn't make me feel so strongly that I felt I would explode. He didn't fill me with excitement or have that ability to drive me nuts. He was just the opposite of Dally, actually. He was caring and mature and made me feel comfortable. He was my sense of normal. And I was really starting to like him. Of course, when I was near Dally he didn't seem to exist at all. But as much as I wanted Dally, I couldn't trust him and I knew I could trust James.

"So, I have something I want to ask you but there's someone you have to meet first." James told me from the driver's side.

"Okay," I agreed, curious as to what he meant.

He seemed excited about it though, or maybe nervous. Whatever he had planned must have been big.

We parked behind a large apartment building. The grey stones on the building were dirty and the grass was an odd shade of yellow, but then again it was nicer than most places on this side of town.

He led me up a narrow stairway and down a long yellow hallway. We came to a stop in front of a wooden door with the number nine on it.

"So, this is your place?" I asked, for the purpose of saying _something_.

"Yeah," he answered, turning the key and pushing the door open. "It's not much, but it's enough."

I walked into the living room. The sun shone through the window, lighting it brightly. There was an old couch and a small television, along with a couple small wooden tables. Everything was really neat, nothing out of place. A book sat on one of the tables, a lamp on the other. The whole house looked clean, vacuumed carpet and shiny windows. It was actually nice for it being a guy's house.

He gave me a quick tour. There was a small blue kitchen and only one bedroom. The kitchen had only a few dishes in the sink, but his bedroom was a little messier. Some clothes lay on the ground, the bed was un-made, but it was still somewhat neat.

There was still one other room. I reached for the door knob but he pulled me back. He said I'd have to meet _someone _first.

"Well where is this person?" I asked, really curious by now.

He seemed really nervous by now, and I wondered why.

A knock at the door made us turn our heads.

"That's probably them now," he smiled at me, walking towards the door.

I stood behind him, anxious to know who this person was.

When he opened the door, the girl from Buck's party stood outside. She still looked tired, but held in her arms a small, giggling baby boy.

He reached out towards James, who took the kid naturally and coddled him, giving him a bright smile.

The girl set a large blue bag on the floor by James and turned to leave.

"You don't want to stay for a while?" He asked her, surprised at her intent to leave.

"Can't," she sharply called back without explanation.

James turned back to me. The little boy in his arms stared at me with wide eyes.

I smiled at the sight of the child, he was really adorable.

"So, Stacy...this is Tyler." He said a bit awkward as he walked closer to me.

"Is he your cousin or something?" I asked, unsure of why it was so important I meet this adorable little boy.

"Uh... son, actually."

His words came out of nowhere. My eyes widened as I slumped down on the couch. Son. James has a _son_. He was, what, seventeen? How….why does he have a kid? My mind was blank for a moment, unsure of what to think.

"Stacy, you want some water?" I heard James ask.

I nodded my head slightly, staring at the floor. I knew he was too good to be true, there had to be something wrong with him.

He handed me the water and looked at me worriedly.

"Please don't freak out." He pleaded quietly.

I looked up at him then, meeting his eyes.

He looked like he was going to be sick. He still held the child, but the worry in his eyes made me feel awful.

I took a deep breath and steadied myself.

"Okay, so, you have a son." I repeated, half hoping he would correct me and say it was actually his cousin or something like I had originally expected.

"Yeah, he just turned one. You're only the second girl I've introduced to him. The other one freaked out and left the apartment, saying she couldn't deal with this. I always thought babies were chick magnets." He explained to me chuckling slightly.

I laughed a little along with him.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to run out of here." I informed him.

He smiled and sat down with a sigh of relief.

I looked over at the little boy, snuggled contently in his father's arms.

He looked like James alright.

"Can I hold him?" I asked suddenly, unable to look away from the kid's adorable big eyes that matched his father's.

"Sure," James smiled, and shifted the child into my arms.

He was sort of heavy. He looked frightened as our eyes met for the first time. I smiled my warmest smile at him and in return he giggled shyly, small dimples forming at the sides of his mouth. He was really James' son.

"Awe!" I said out loud.

I couldn't help it, this kid was absolutely precious.

When I looked back up at James, his eyes twinkled with delight. I could tell he was happy I liked Tyler, and the way he looked at me then made me feel all warm inside.

I spent an hour talking with James about Tyler watching the little one roll around on the floor and play with some toys brought out from his room.

"So, what were you going to ask me?" I asked James finally, remembering there were two parts to his surprise today.

He smiled widely and stood up, promising to be right back.

When he returned he sat back beside me and took my hand, pulling it open. "Stace, I was wondering if you'd like to be my girl." He spoke quickly putting a small ring into the palm of my hand.

The air escaped my lungs as I suddenly remembered Dally. What was I going to do about _Dally_?

James must have seen my hesitation, "don't worry about me being a dad and everything. I only have Tyler on certain days, his mother and I share custody. You don't have to worry about her either, she's got her own life and I have mine, we've moved on from each other. And it's not like I'll ever expect you to babysit or watch Tyler at all; really, if you want we can only see each other when he's not around." He was rambling by this point.

"Stop." I cut him off. "It's not Tyler. Tyler's perfect, he's adorable. I really don't have a problem with you being a dad. You'd think I would, but I don't." I smiled to re-assure him.

"Okay," he said, relieved. "But, what's wrong then?"

"Uh..."

Should I tell him? Or should I just say I don't want a relationship? No, then he'll think it's his fault because of Tyler. He should know.

"There's someone else." I said, looking down.

I could feel him tense beside me. I waited for him to yell, or cuss or throw me out like all guys do when they find out they've been cheated on.

He did none of that though.

"Oh." Was all that came out.

I looked up at him. He looked more confused than anything, like he was trying to figure something out.

"I can leave if you want," I offered gently.

"No. Stacy, don't go." He sighed. "Do you really like him?"

I couldn't say yes. I don't like Dally. It's not _like_ with Dally, it's stronger. It's a crazy, insane passionate felling that I can't really describe. But do I like him? No, he's a no-good, cheating, lying hood.

Yet I can't get enough of him.

"I like you," I said quietly, knowing that was partially true.

"Then dump him." He suggested.

I thought about it. The sane decision _would_ be to dump him. What woman in their right mind would choose Dally over James? But I'm not _sane_ when I'm around Dally. I lose control of what's right and what's wrong and what I'm doing. All I know is that when I'm with Dally he's something else, something better than the rest. He's someone who means a lot to me, even if I don't know what that is.

"It's not that easy," I shook my head.

"Are you his girl?" James asked, a little suspicion creeping into his voice.

"No."

"Then why don't we keep dating?" He suggested, looking up at me finally.

"What?" I asked, a little confused.

"Well you're not my girl or his, so why don't you just date us both until you decide which one you like best?"

It seemed to make a lot of sense to me, but why on earth would someone suggest that?

"You're okay with that?" I asked, a little surprised. Not many guys would offer to share a girl they like.

"Well, it's not the best idea, but it's better than losing you. You're the first girl I've really cared about in a while, and I don't know how long it will be until I find someone else like you, who also accepts Tyler." He told me.

I looked back at the child, laughing as he shook a stuffed animal around.

"Okay," I agreed, smiling at him. "I don't know how the other guy will take this though."

I tried to imagine Dally being okay with me seeing him and James. I couldn't even picture it. Dally would be furious. But if he really wants me, he'll agree to it.

"Well, if he won't do it then that's easy, it means I'm the last man standing." James smiled.

That's true, Dally _never_ likes to lose, and if he backs out, James wins.

I smiled a little at the idea of the fact I would have some control over Dally for once.

_I _would be the one two-timing _him_ this time. It was my turn now.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Big thank you to my beta TaylorPaige24, you're the best! :) Thanks also, as usual, to all my wonderful reviewers, I love hearing your opinions and I try to use the things you say to make my chapter's better for you! It may take me a little while to update again, and I apologize for that, but I should update by the weekend at least. Please keep reviewing!**


	13. Chapter 13 Four In The Morning

_Disclaimer: I do not own '4 In The Morning,' it belongs to Gwen Stefani._

Chapter Thirteen-4 in The Morning

_But it hurts when I think  
>When I let it sink in<br>It's all over me  
>I'm lying here in the dark<br>I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot  
>And all I know is<br>You've got to give me everything  
>Nothing less cause<br>You know I give you all of me_

Nervousness of talking to Dally made my knees shake. He was going to flip out when I suggest I date him _and_ James. I shouldn't be nervous though, if he refuses then that means the decision is made for me and I'll be with James. Like I should be.

"Dal?" I call quietly into his room.

No response.

I stumble in the dark trying to find the light switch. When I finally reach it I can see the room is empty.

I really don't feel like searching the neighborhood for him.

Lying in his bed, I feel more tired than I thought I'd be.

I had been avoiding Steve the last couple days. Staying at Soda's if Steve wasn't there and staying at his place if he's at Soda's. I don't want to see him, I'm still angry at the way he's been acting lately.

It's like he doesn't care about me. He doesn't notice when I'm upset or anything, or what's going on in my life. Sure, he has problems of his own, what with Uncle Ron being more on-edge than I've seen him yet. I don't know why _he's_ so cranky lately, and I don't really care. As long as he leaves me and Steve alone I'm fine. I still get nervous walking into that house though. I'll always be frightened of loud, angry men, especially drunk ones. It's just something inside of me.

Maybe that's why I'm nervous now. Of course I know Dally would never hit me.

I think.

If he's drunk then…No, I can't think like that. The only reason I get all worked up like this is because of the memories of my father.

A loud thump suddenly woke me up. I hadn't even realized I was asleep. The light flicked on and I pulled the cover over my head, trying to block it out.

"Stacy?" Dallas asked from across the room.

I slowly pulled the covers down from my face. "Yeah, it's me."

"What are _you_ doing here?" he asked his back to me.

I started to answer but gasped when he turned around.

His face was badly bruised and he was bleeding from a gash by his jaw. There was some blood in his hair and his knuckles were cut up to bits.

Another fight.

Of course I had seen Dally all beat up before, but I wasn't expecting to see him like this tonight. He looked really bad off, worse than I'd ever seen him.

"What happened?" I asked, crawling out of bed and moving over to him.

"Tim and his gang were in a rumble with the brumby boys. Said he needed my help." He shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Let me help you clean up."

"No."

Right, Dally doesn't like help. I shouldn't have worded it like that. Fuck his stupid pride.

I watched as he walked to the washroom and splashed some water on his face, then dabbed it with a towel, which looked like it must have been painful.

From this side of him I could see the red that stained the side of his shirt.

I walked over to him as he dug through the cabinet behind the mirror looking for something to clean the cut with. I couldn't help but worry about him.

If he keeps living like this he won't live long. I had heard enough about the brumby boys to know they don't fight fair. Rumbles like those involve chains, pipes and blades…even the occasional heaters. The thought made me tremble as I realized Dally could have been killed tonight while I slept warmly in his bed, he could have gotten shot.

I stood next to him and put my hand on his side, where his shirt was bloody.

He flinched and stepped back, staring angrily at me. He reminded me then of an injured animal, wanting nothing more than to be left alone when what they need most is help.

"Sorry," I apologized for hurting him, but it didn't take the defensive look from his eyes.

I sighed at his stubbornness and stepped closer to him, lifting his shirt so I could see how bad it was.

It was bad.

A large gash went down his side, about four inches long, and really deep. The blood that still came from it making me sick to my stomach, but what made me sicker was how much blood Dally had probably already lost. He looked paler than usual.

"Dally," I breathed slowly and clearly, "You need to come lay down. You lost a lot of blood and you need to let me fix you up."

"No," he shook his head, and I got visibly dizzier. "I'm fine."

"If you don't come lay down I'll take you to the hospital." I threatened.

Dally hated the hospital.

He slowly moved back into the bedroom and lied on his back on the bed.

I could see his eyelids getting heavy and panicked a little.

I pressed the blanket to hi side to stop the bleeding.

"Dally!" I shouted, making his eyes jump open. "Dal, stay awake, okay?"

His eyes began to close again despite my command.

"No! Dally! If you go to sleep you might not wake up! Dally, stay awake! Stay alive! Please, Dal!" I shouted, wondering if he could hear me. "Please, you have to be strong here Dal! Stay awake!"

In my mind I tried to think of what I should do. Call an ambulance, of course! But then there would be questions to answer.

Why was he hurt so badly?

There would also be a hospital bill.

My mind jumped to my second option. Darry. He stitched the guys up sometimes if they really needed it and he wouldn't ask so many questions.

Still holding one hand to his side, pressing the blood soaked blanket on him, I reached towards the phone with the other one. My hand couldn't find it so I tore my eyes off Dally and looked towards the dresser.

I was shocked to find my hand covered in blood. Sickly blotches of red across it. I shook the distraction. I had to focus here.

Grabbing the phone, quickly dialing the Curtis' number for which I had remembered by heart.

It rang once, twice, three times.

_Come on! Pick up! _

A fourth ring, a fifth ring.

_Come on, come on!_

"Hello?" a sleepy voice spoke on the other end.

"Soda! I got to talk to Darry!" I shouted.

"Stacy? What happened?" he was suddenly alert.

"Just get Darry!" I shouted louder.

No more questions were asked; I could hear some thumping on the other end and prayed he would be quick.

"Hello?"

I could hear the tiredness in his voice, but he was also concerned.

"Darry!" I shouted, relieved I finally got him. "Darry, Dally got beat up real bad, he's bleeding out. We're at Bucks. Can you come stitch him up? Don't bring anyone with you, and don't tell them what's up yet, just come quick." My words all ran together, but he seemed to understand when he agreed and hung up.

I don't know why in my panicked state I still managed to realize I was calling from Dally's in the middle of the night and that means the guys would figure out about us.

I don't know why my mind even cared at the moment. But, obviously, it did enough to tell Darry to come alone and not tell anyone.

_Thank God for that. _

* * *

><p>After what felt like forever of shouting at Dally to stay awake and pressing the blanket to him with all my strength, Darry burst through the door.<p>

He pushed me lightly out of the way and took my place.

Removing the blanket, he opened the small bag he brought with him and began to stitch Dally up.

It seemed to take a really long time, even though he was working fast.

When he was finished, he wiped it clean and put and bandage over it, mumbling something about Dally being stupid for getting himself all cut up like this.

It amazed me how calm he was about everything.

"Stace, go get Dal some water," he commanded.

I nodded quickly and ran down the stairs.

My bloody hands shook as I filled a glass with tap water. Running back up the stairs, I spilled a bunch of it.

"Here." I said, handing it to Darry.

Darry picked Dally up easily, and even in his nearly unconscious state he tried to resist the help. Darry was too strong though and managed to lean Dally up against the head board, sticking the glass in Dally's face demanding that he drank.

After finishing the whole glass Darry helped him lay back down, as though he were a small child. Dally was out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Mechanically, Darry moved around, pulling the blood covered blanket off the bed and throwing it in the corner.

"Is he going to be okay?" I finally found my voice.

"Yeah, don't worry 'bout him. Just make sure he eats a lot tomorrow and drinks a lot of water. He lost a lot of blood so he shouldn't be up doing stuff but it's Dally, and if he wants to go out, he's going to go out. There isn't much you can do about that." Darry explained to me. "Hey, do you know if there's an extra blanket somewhere?"

I nodded and went to get it.

I threw it on the bed and turned back to Darry. His hair was tousled and he wore a pair of jean and a shirt that was now covered in blood.

"Sorry I woke you." I suddenly felt bad, knowing he would have to go roof houses in a couple hours.

"Don't worry about it. He could have…it could have ended badly."

I wondered then why he hadn't asked why I was at Dally's at this hour in the first place.

"Um…are you…going to tell the guys…that I'm here?" I asked, pretty sure I wasn't making sense.

He seemed to understand though. "If you don't want me to I won't. I'll make something up."

"Thanks." I smiled, relieved.

He turned to leave, but before he shut the door he turned back around. "Stacy, I know it isn't really my place but, uh… well, you could do better than Dally. You deserve better than Dally." He told me hesitantly.

I nodded, knowing it was true. I _knew_ it was true.

* * *

><p>I took a long shower, watching as the water that ran off me turned red. I watched with my mind blank. I couldn't think. I was beyond exhausted and kind of in shock.<p>

I felt really light as I dried off and went through Dally's drawer, looking for some clean clothes for me to wear. I grabbed a large t-shirt and put my underwear back on.

As I turned towards the bed, it was suddenly horrible to see Dally still covered in blood. It made me re-live the past few hours.

I shuddered. I had washed tonight off myself, but all the evidence still covered him.

Gently, I pulled off his shirt, being careful not to get any blood on myself. Then I pulled off his shoes and pants, leaving him in boxers. I threw them in the corner with the blanket.

I went back to the washroom and covered a cloth with warm water. Standing back over Dally, I rubbed the blood from his face and chest, then gently around the bandage and over his stomach. Even in my tired state, I had to get rid of it. I couldn't look at him like that anymore.

Finally, I crawled into the bed beside him and pulled the blanket over us both, pressing my body tightly against him. I was soon in a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>I woke before Dally. The stillness of him frightened me at first, then I remembered he always slept eerily still.<p>

I watched his chest go up and down, mesmerized by that peaceful action. Every time it fell I expected it to stop, for some reason, I was still terrified he would die on me, but then it would rise again and I would be filled with relief and happiness.

_Does it make any sense I'm so happy he's alive?_

Last night seemed like nothing more than a horrible vivid nightmare. But the bandage on his side proved it was actually reality. As I saw re-plays of last night in my mind, I began to cry. Silent tears fell down my face. I pressed myself closer to Dally and rested my head on his shoulder. Perfectly content to stay there forever.

After a while I felt Dally stir beneath me. He groaned a little, his chest rumbling under my hand.

"You scared me last night, Dal." My voice was weak, and we could bother hear the pain in it.

He twisted under me and pushed me back a little so he could look at me.

Pushing a piece of hair out of my face he looked back at the ceiling. "You're going to have to get used to things like that if you're going to stick around." He whispered.

He didn't say it harshly, but I still couldn't believe what he was telling me.

"I can't." I said softly. He turned back to me, and I went on. "I can't watch you get hurt, I can't watch you bleed like that, and not care." I stopped, thinking. "And I'm not going to be your girl." I added.

"What?" He asked surprised.

I really didn't want to tell him this now, but it seemed like it was the perfect moment.

"Well, I'm going to keep seeing James."

He looked at me, shocked. There wasn't any anger in his eyes yet though, so I figured it was safe to go on.

"I'll keep seeing you too if you want. James is okay with it. He said I should just kind of date you both until I decide who I want to be with."

Dally laughed, a cold, bitter laugh. "And he-you-expect me to go along with that?" He asked incredulously.

"If you don't want to, I'll just be with him." I said quietly and gently.

I had planned to say that forcefully to surprise him and use it against him, but I couldn't think of talking to him like that now, I was too worried about his health.

He was quiet for a while, thinking. "You couldn't do that." He said finally. I could see he was angry now, but his voice was quiet.

"Couldn't do what?" I asked. I was amazed at how calm this conversation was.

"Just give me up that easily. You tried already, remember?"

He was right, and I knew it. But that doesn't mean I would admit it.

"Are you saying you don't want to be a part of this? Because I'll leave," I ignored his comment on purpose.

He smirked a little, "go then."

I hesitated, and I hated that I did that because it proved him right.

"Okay, what if I can't go?" I asked, partially to myself.

"Then stick around and be my girl."

"I can't."

I can't leave James either. He's too good to give up. And I can't trust Dally anymore. And I can't give myself completely to Dally because he'll hurt me, because it hurts me to see him hurt, and because he'll never completely give himself to me.

"You're supposed to eat and drink a lot today. Doctor's orders." I said, changing the subject.

Maybe I could just do what James suggested and date them both, I just wouldn't let Dally know that's what I'm doing, and since I'm not his girl it won't really be cheating, and James will know so it definitely won't be cheating on him.

This could work.

I spent the day with Dally, watching him closely. We didn't do much, mostly stayed in; it was good for Dally to rest.

And it was good for me to think.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Wow! Such amazing reviews on my last chapter, thank you guys so much! Kudos to my amazing beta TaylorPaige24, who was a lot of help. Keep reviewing, I'll be updating again hopefully a couple times this week. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, I wanted to do something different rather than just have Stacy and Dally fight again... they do that a lot, so I tried to make it interesting. Let me know how I did! :)**


	14. Chapter 14 Torn

_Disclaimer: I do not own 'Torn,' it belongs to LeToya Luckett._

Chapter Fourteen-Torn  
><em><br>A part of me wants to leave,  
>But a part of me wants to be here with you.<br>And every time I think we're over and done,  
>You do something to get me back loving you.<br>And you got me just torn. _

_Torn in between the two,  
>'Cause I really wanna be with you,<br>But something's telling me,  
>I should leave you alone.<em>

I spent the next month of my life dating both James _and_ Dally.

It was exhausting.

Dally and I _still_ fought, despite the fact I could at any point leave him for James.

I should have.

I thought about it all the time. I didn't leave though. I don't know why…I couldn't. It did give me some satisfaction how much it drove him crazy whenever I couldn't be with him because I had a date with James, or whenever I brought up James.

When it came to James, it was exactly the opposite. If I ever had to say no to a date with him because of plan with Dally, I felt guilt override me. His face would fall and he would act like it was no big deal, but I could tell by looking in his eyes how much it hurt him.

Yet he still stayed with me, and I was grateful for that, because a lot of the time, he was the thing keeping me sane. After a big fight with Dally, I always knew I could count on James to be there.

I hated myself for using him like that. I hated the way I wouldn't just pick him already and get it over with.

On top of all that, I was back to hiding me and Dally from Steve, and everyone else for that matter. It wasn't too hard, considering I still don't talk to Steve too much anymore. I don't have the patience. When he does something that bothers me or tries to tell me when to be home after a date with 'James,' I just bite my tongue and ignore him.

Whenever I wasn't with Dally or James, I was hanging around with the gang. That was when I could relax. I would laugh and go to movies or drag races with them. It was really nice to have so many close friends.

But on my mind the question always remained: Dally or James? I would have to choose soon.

* * *

><p>At the Nightly Double with James, his arm was around me, pulling me close. I loved just being close to him.<p>

I laid my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him.

We could spend hours talking about ourselves, our problems, the things we want or hope to do. He would tell me about Tyler and any problems he was having with his ex-Laura-, which was surprisingly not many.

I had found out they were dating for two years before Tyler. He was unplanned but never regretted. She was often on-edge because of taking care of a child at such a young age. James got Tyler on weekends or when Laura needed a night to herself or had a date. Tyler was James' whole world, and he cared so much about him that it made me smile just hearing the way he talked about him.

I could tell James about almost all of my problems too. I could talk to him about Steve, my past, my father, Uncle Ron, anything. He would listen and comfort me the best he could.

I wouldn't tell him who Dally was, wouldn't let him know who I was cheating on him with. A lot of people in this town know Dally, and if they don't they know about his reputation.

I didn't want to imagine how James would react to knowing the other guy was _the_ Dallas Winston.

* * *

><p>Coughing in the smoke some drunk blew in my face at Buck's party, Dally pulled my closer to him, ignoring the stupid guy on the other side of me.<p>

Dal was pretty wasted himself.

"Dally, let's go upstairs." I suggested, knowing he shouldn't drink much more or he'll end up in a fight over something stupid.

"Sure thing, babe," he slurred a little.

I just rolled my eyes and put his arm over my shoulder, not wanting him to fall down the stairs.

Once we make it up stairs I help him to the bed and begin to change. As I pulled off my shirt, he stared at me drowsily.

"What?" I asked, knowing what he's thinking.

"Come 'ere," he smiled at me.

I can't help but smile back, because the smile he gave me wasn't bitter. It was different, the smile I only see for me.

I walked over to him and he pulled me down onto the bed. I laughed at his urgency, but he didn't go right for it. Instead, he stopped and gently ran his fingers over my stomach.

I gave him a questioning smile as he leaned down and kissed my belly button. He moved upwards and kissed my chest, then my shoulder.

I was surprised by his gentleness; he's never been _gentle _before.

He gave me a drunken smile and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"You look confused," he pointed out.

"You're acting different," I smiled at him, showing that I liked it.

He didn't smile back; he looked down, concentrating on something that wasn't there. He was acting really strange; he must've been _really_ drunk.

"Does James know who I am?" He asked suddenly, looking back up at me.

"No."

"I think you should ditch him."

I laughed at that. Of course he does, James wants me to ditch you too.

"Really," he said seriously, "get rid of him."

I stopped laughing, realizing he was really serious about this.

"Why should I?" I asked, testing him.

"Because you like me more, that's why you're s_till_ with me. If you didn't like me more you would've picked him already." He explained, slurring his words.

I wasn't grasping if what he was saying was true.

"I can't pick you though, Dal. If I pick you I'll end up hurt. Whenever you get hurt it hurts me, and I know you will never be mine. You won't tell me anything about yourself. There's a very low chance you'll ever love me, so if I were to let myself love you I would end up broken. You can't even tell me you care about me." I was a little scared to be so honest with him, knowing he could use it against me.

He didn't say anything for a while, concentrating again as though the answer was right in front of him but he couldn't see it.

"Dally," I took a chance, hopefully giving him what he was looking for. "Do you care about me? I need to know." My words were a whisper.

Silence filled the room. After a few minutes I rolled over and flicked off the light, giving up.

Just before I was about to fall asleep I heard him mumble, "yes."

I moved closer to him, peering through the darkness to see if he was lying.

He was already asleep, and wouldn't remember anything the next morning.

* * *

><p>Sitting on the floor with James, he had set up a little picnic for us on his hard-wood floor.<p>

It was something from a movie I saw once. The blanket laid out for us to sit on, the few candles. It was all very romantic.

After finishing the food he had prepared, he cleared away all dishes and took a seat next to me once again.

I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he moved in close. Finally his lips touched my skin, and I could feel the light smile on his lips.

As his mouth moved to mine his kisses became hungrier, but his lips stayed gentle, even as we grew more passionate.

I slowly let him lie me down, and pulled his shirt up over his head. Tonight was for him, and for me. Tonight was for us, and only us.

I awoke in the morning before James. He was pressed tightly close to me, his arms encircling me and keeping me warm.

I rested a few moments before pulling gently out of his grasp, doing my best not to wake him.

Once I had successfully untangled myself from his arms and stood, the cold air hit my skin where he had been covering me, causing me to shiver. I grabbed the sheet, which had somehow had been pushed to the side during last night's events, and wrapped it tightly around my torso.

I was sure to cover James with the half of the blanket he wasn't laying on top of. I didn't want him waking as coldly as I had.

Making my way to the washroom, I had to lift the bottom of the large sheet like a dress so I wouldn't trip. The floor creaked a couple times making me hope James wasn't a light sleeper.

Once I had made it down the hall, I ran the water until it was warm and splashed some on my face in the hopes of waking myself up more. Standing back up straight, I examined myself in the mirror.

My hair was tangled and messy, as could be expected. I had a large hickey on my neck that I could cover with makeup.

The small bruises that covered my arms easily caught my attention. I had been worried James would ask about them last night, but thankfully he hadn't.

I trailed my finger absent-mindedly over the one that wrapped around my arm.

Marks from nights with Dally, nights where neither of us had any control.

Dally doesn't know that he's giving them to me, he doesn't realize _while _it's happening. I don't either, until the morning comes and I see myself in the mirror. I don't blame him for them; there are thin claw marks in his own back from my own careless exhilaration. Still, even if I don't really notice them others do, and they aren't pretty.

He notices them later, I know he does. But Dallas isn't one for apologies. One time, though, I stood in front of his dirty little mirror longer than usual, and he came in to see me analyzing a new mark. He stood behind me wordlessly and pulled my hand away from it, replacing it with his own. He had kissed my jaw, covering the bruise with his hand so I could not see it anymore. When his eyes met mine in the mirror they were soft, as I had so rarely seen them.

I guess that was his own, weird way of apologizing. Even though I never needed an apology, it still felt good to know he cared.

A cold hand on mine made me jump, knocking me out of my memories and back into reality.

"Morning," I said gently to James, preying he wouldn't say anything about the marks.

He knew not a single one of them were from him, and I was quite surprised that he didn't freak out last night when he had seen them.

His hand grabbed my elbow, lifting my arm outwards like a wing. Slowly he brought his mouth down to my upper arm, kissing it so lightly I could hardly feel him. As his kisses trailed up to my shoulder, then neck, I leaned closer to him, sighing in content.

His lips reached my ear, his warm breath tickling me softly.

"You deserve better." He whispered.

* * *

><p>Laying in the still quiet of Dally's room, the darkness overwhelms me as always, and for some reason I can't sleep tonight. I don't bother to leave though. I'm comfortable, trying different tactics to see how long sleep can elude me.<p>

Counting sheep didn't work. Neither did singing calming songs in my head. I could try drinking some water, but I'll be cold if a crawl out of bad and besides, I don't like walking around nude, even if it is pitch black.

A sudden movement beside me startled me. Everything had been so still for so long my silly, overtired mind had thought that's the way thing stayed. The only movement had been Dally's steady breathing, which was now heavy and irregular.

I twisted onto my side, confused by the sudden change in him.

"Dal?" I whispered lightly.

The silence that answered told me he was still asleep.

A soft whimper came from him, and he twitched again.

A whimper, from Dallas?

That can't be right. But I knew I had heard it right when it came again, softer this time.

I lightly wrapped my hand around his arm, hoping to comfort him, even though he was asleep. As soon as my grip tightened in the slightest, he unconsciously yanked away.

I almost couldn't hear the whispered protest of, "no," that came from him. I did though, and suddenly felt frightened.

I knew it was only a nightmare, _his_ nightmare. But that's what made it scary. Dallas Winston isn't afraid of anything. I've seen him stand up to a guy twice his size, or hold people at gunpoint, unafraid of anything that may happen to him. Yet here he was, whimpering in his sleep. That's what scared me, what kind of thing could Dallas have a nightmare about that scared even him?

I shook him lightly, whispering for him to wake up. When he didn't I shook a little harder.

As soon as he awoke, he lurched towards me, a freighting growl escaping his lips. He pinned me to the mattress, his strong hands around my arms.

We were both breathing hard now. I stared up at him wide-eyed, only able to see his outline. I could feel the tenseness of his body though, and knew his eyes would be burning and wild.

Slowly, his muscled relaxed as he loosened his grip on me. He flipped back over onto his back and away from me.

I rubbed my arms where he had gripped them, feeling only a slight pain.

I could still hear his harsh breaths, and didn't dare speak until I was certain he had calmed a little.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly, not really wanting to ask since it didn't sound like something to say to Dallas.

He grunted angrily and flipped onto his side, away from me.

I sat up, a little insulted at his continuous inability to let me help or talk to him. Placing my hand on his arm, I could feel he was still pretty tense.

"What was it about?" My curiosity got the best of me.

"None of your damn business." His words were clipped and hard.

I knew he felt embarrassed for showing he had been frightened, but I knew better than to point that out or even bother to press him for more answers though.

"Okay." I agreed gently.

I was still awake when he fell back asleep, his breathing becoming slower and steadier once again.

It worried me, something scaring Dally that badly. Dallas doesn't get scared, so to see and hear him so helpless concerned me.

I suddenly wondered what had made Dally the way he is today. I knew he didn't have good parents or anything, and had been to jail, but was that all that made him turn so hard? Was that what made him tremble in the middle of the night?

Cautiously, I placed my hand on his head, lightly stroking his hair. I marveled at how soft it always was.

He sighed contently in his sleep, making me smile.

* * *

><p>The sun shone brightly, making the grass and tress look even greener.<p>

Tyler laughed loudly as James pushed him higher on the swing set. I grinned at them. They were so cute, both of them.

"Look how high I go!" Tyler screamed, giggling louder.

I hadn't been around Tyler much, only a couple of times, but the kid had easily warmed up to me and hugged me when he saw me. He was just so adorable I couldn't believe it.

As Tyler began to become bored with the swings, he asked his daddy to take him out of the seat so he could play in the sand.

James picked him up gingerly and set him down in the little sandbox, not caring about how dirty his clothes would get.

James came and sat beside me on the park bench, placing his arm around my shoulders.

"You really don't mind that this is what we do today?" He asked me.

"Of course not! This is actually nice."

I really meant it. I hadn't spent much time around little kids, and I loved being around Tyler. Just watching him find joy in the simplest of situations, made me smile.

I observed him laughing at the sand falling between his fingers. His eyes twinkling as he made a little pile of the dirt, his own little sandcastle.

"He has your eyes you know." I said aloud.

I could see James nod out of the corner of my eye. I just couldn't take my eyes of the beautiful young child.

He looked so pure, the way all young children do. The innocence was written all over his face. Soon enough, the world would begin to crush that. He would learn about war and money and struggles…..but not now. For now, he was free.

I suddenly found myself wondering if Dallas had ever been like that. Of course he was everyone was at some point, right?

* * *

><p>I have no idea whom to choose.<p>

The obvious choice is James. It just makes sense. He sweet and considerate and listens to me and cares about me.

But I can't let Dally go. He's arrogant and frustrating and intoxicating, but whenever I think about just telling him I'm done I can't.

Then he goes and does something. Something so small, no one would ever notice it, no one would really care, but I'll rest my head on his shoulder late at night and feel the lightest touch at the top of my head and know he smells my hair. Or I'll catch him looking at me once in a while when we're out with that gang, and wonder what he's thinking about. When Dally does these little things, things James does all the time, I think maybe. Maybe there's something there, maybe he really cares about me.

And when I worry myself sick over the fact that he almost got arrested or he got into a dangerous fight or woke up in the middle of the night terrified, that's when I know I care about him more than I let on.

When I sit next to James and relax in his arms, but still think about Dally, that's when I understand why I can't just dump him.

Dally is stubborn and difficult, but there's more to him than most people think, and I'm determined to figure him out.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**So sorry for the long wait! It's been crazy busy for me. Thank you to all my reviewers and to my beta TaylorPaige24, you guys are the greatest! Sorry if Dally is kind of OOC in this one, but remember these are just the good points in their relationship, they still fight and stuff, I just thought I'd do a more positive chapter.. even though Dally's not really a positive guy... Anyways, let me know what you think! Keep reviewing and I'll do my best to update sooner next time! :)**


	15. Chapter 15 Let it Rain

Chapter Fifteen-Let it rain

_Every little tear I was scared to cry  
>Everything I feared but I kept inside<br>I don't want to hold it back one more day  
>Oh, I'll wash it away <em>

_Every time a thought clouded up my head  
>Every single word that I never said<br>I refuse to feel ashamed  
>Let it rain, let it rain<em>

I sat cozily wrapped up under a blanket with James' arm around me on his couch. We listened contently to the rain pitter-patter against the outside of the window. He had been particularly quiet all night, which was unusual for him. I could tell there was something on his mind but when asked if anything was wrong he simply shrugged it off and changed the subject. His usual cheeriness was gone.

"James, you sure you're feeling alright? You haven't been acting like yourself," I tried again to get something out of him.

He didn't reply. Instead he stood and drug his feet into the kitchen.

I remained where I was and listened to him run the tap for a minute. When he shut it off and didn't come back, I lifted myself up and went to him.

He stood upright, leaning against the counter, a glass of water in his hand. He stared into it as if in it were the words he wanted to say and all he had to do was fish them out.

I didn't press for him to speak to me. I only stood across from him and waited patiently. When he was ready he would tell me what was on his mind.

Finally he took a big gulp of his water and set it down on the counter behind him.

"I've just been thinking a lot, Stacy, and... well, can I ask you something?" he hesitated and refused to meet my eyes as he spoke. "Something…..about _him_?" he spit out finally.

The question took me off guard especially since from the moment I told him there was someone else he hadn't wanted to speak of it. He seemed to be perfectly happy pretending the someone else didn't exist and I was simply busy a lot. I had also noticed how he seemed almost unsure of whether he even wanted to ask me anything about it.

"Of course," I replied softly.

Suddenly I was very uncomfortable in his cozy little apartment with just the two of us. I wished we could just continue ignoring the fact that there was someone else and stay happy, but of course I knew that just wouldn't be possible. Eventually, even James had to grow impatient.

"Do you have any idea yet? Like... if you would rather be with him?" he asked, shyly.

I couldn't help the smile that crept on my face from the fact that he kept looking down at the floor like a little kid afraid to say something wrong.

I did my best to answer him honestly, without hurting him. It was hard to have a conversation with him about this. With Dally it's easy because I know Dally can take my insults and me talking about James and anything else I throw his way. I'm not afraid of hurting Dally, because I know I can't hurt him. But James is more... _human_. I know he can't stand that there's someone other than him and I try my best to make things easier for him.

"There's no question in my mind, when I think of who I would rather be in a relationship with, who I would rather have a future with, it's you."

His eyes met mine finally, surprise in them and a smile on his face. I wasn't done yet though.

"James, when I think about having a future with him I can't even picture it. The most sane and obvious choice is you. Yet, when I think about getting rid of him, I... I don't know, James. I get this feeling, like a sick feeling in my gut when I picture actually breaking up with him."

His face fell and his eyes dropped to the floor once again. I was proud of how well I picked my words, but the feeling of guilt that washed over me made me want to cry.

"I'm sorry. I just need a little more time," I finished, trying my best to make things better.

"Can I know who he is?" he asked, taking another long drink of his water.

"Uh..." I stalled. I hoped he would _never_ have to know it was Dallas.

"Does he know who I am?" he questioned before I could think of what to say.

"Well... yes," I confessed, knowing that it sounded bad.

"Then I should be allowed to know who he is," he concluded, his quiet voice growing back to its regular volume.

He turned and began rinsing out the cup in the sink.

"Um... well," I stuttered out, trying to think of a reason why I couldn't tell him.

"Well, what?" His voice rose louder than usual this time as he put the glass away and shut the cupboard a little harder than necessary. "If he knows who I am it's only fair I know who he is too!"

I had never seen him angry with me before, never even heard him raise his voice. I guess I had figured he couldn't get angry. Compared to Dally I had seen him as the perfect relationship, the guy who would never yell.

His back was still to me as he scrubbed down the counter. His hand pressed the cloth down so hard you would think he was trying to get a stain out rather than wipe off some water.

I couldn't make my mouth open and tell him. I couldn't say Dally's name and have him judge me and probably dump me for being with someone as bad as him. Dallas was a hood, a delinquent.

Throwing his cloth down he turned to face me. I expected to see anger burning in his eyes as they always did with Dally or Uncle Ron or any other man I had ever seen upset. Instead all I could see was pain. He looked tired and much older than his age.

It tore up my heart.

"Why can't I just know who he is?" he shouted but his voice broke.

I jumped at his outburst.

"He knows who I am! Do you know how much that makes me look like a fool! He probably laughs about me behind my back, talking shit about me to his friends!"

If it were Dally yelling at me I would have fought back. Were it Uncle Ron or my Father I would have stepped back, too afraid to speak. But this was James, and it was my fault he was like this.

I stepped in close to him and wrapped my arms around him, hoping he didn't hate me for all I have put him through. After a moment of hesitation he wrapped his arms around me too, holding onto me as if when he let go I would be gone.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered into his chest.

"I know. It's hard, though," he said.

I pulled back to look, his eyes were rimmed with red.

"I really like you Stacy. You're the best girl I've met since Tyler's mom, and I don't want to lose you. I hate it when you say you can't go somewhere, I hate sitting at home with Tyler in my lap knowing you're out with _him_."

I always knew James didn't like the situation we were in, but I never realized it hurt him that badly. Just the look on his face was enough to make me feel like the worst person in the world. And I knew he wasn't trying to make me feel bad, he was only trying to explain himself, but what he did was making me realize it wasn't worth it anymore. I couldn't keep going between the two of them because it hurt him too much and that wasn't fair to him.

"Okay," I said quietly. "Promise you won't freak out." I pulled out of his arms and paced across the kitchen, trying to ready myself for him to end it, to think of me as trash.

"Why?" he asked cautiously.

_Oh, to hell with it, let's get it over with._

"It's Dallas Winston."

Silence.

He stared at me, and I wish I knew what he was thinking. The look on his face was one of surprise and confusion.

Without a word he turned around and grabbed the glass he just had back out of the cupboard. He then took out a bottle of whiskey and poured a lot more in than he should have.

Taking a big gulp he cringed at the burning then went back to staring at me.

"Fuck," he finally muttered. The way he said it he might as well have been saying 'hi.'

"Really?" he asked, his tone a pitch higher. "Dallas fucking Winston?" He took another gulp of his drink.

I stood nervously, unsure of what to do. "Yeah," I finally managed, "you know him?" I asked quietly.

"Sure as hell do," he replied, downing the rest of his drink.

I wanted to ask how, but figured now wasn't the time. Knowing Dally he had probably screwed James over some time in his life and that's how they were acquainted.

"You know I really thought you were better than that," he said, his voice was hard.

I had been preparing myself for him to be angry, but that still hurt.

He refilled the glass and stared down into it before looking back up at me.

"You told me the first time we met you didn't let guys use you. Ha!" he laughed bitterly. The sound sounded wrong coming from him. "What a bunch of bullshit. You know he's going to use you, right? You can't be stupid enough to think he's with you because he actually likes you?"

There was something about the way his voice never rose, and his stance never became threatening, that made everything he said hurt worse.

"And you actually can't choose between me and him?" By now his glass was empty again and he re-filled it once more, making me feel sort of uneasy. People are different when they drink. "Really? You can't choose between me and _Winston_?" He looked at me incredulously.

Finally I found my voice, "He's really not all bad..." I said quietly.

_Am I really defending Dally right now? Why would I do that? Just apologize to James and tell him if he wants you gone you'll leave! _

But I couldn't just leave; I wouldn't just let him insult Dally like that when he probably didn't even know him.

James let out an amazed laugh, but it was again bitter. "You're just like every other girl out there, you know that? You live under false hope that one day, he might change. He might actually want you. Let me break this down for you. He doesn't give a fuck about you! He doesn't care! That's it. If you want to waste your life on trash like that, well that's just fine with me! But that's exactly what you'll be doing, wasting your life! He's probably fucking some cheap broad right now as we speak."

That had me close to tears. Without knowing it, he had spoken all of my worst fears about this thing with Dally. James had just laid all my doubts out in front of me and rubbed my nose in them.

"I... I think I should go," I whispered, hardly trusting my own voice.

He only nodded and took another drink.

The door closed behind me with a light 'click.' The hall was silent, and I found myself nearly running to get out of the building.

Outside, it poured as hard as it had all night, the sewer grates overflowing with water. The streets were deserted at this time of night and that made it kind of creepy looking out at it all. My mind flashed back to the Soc's that jumped me that one night, but quickly realized they would have to be pretty dumb to be hunting up action in this storm.

Huddling under the building, I regretted for an instant not calling to find a ride. I could have. James was drunk and angry but he was still James and had I asked he would have allowed me to call Steve or Darry or a cab for a ride home. But I had been in too much of a rush to leave.

It was too late for that though.

I slid off my shoes. I hated how they felt when they were wet, and slid them into my purse. Clutching it to my side I began to run through the rain, towards Soda's. It was the closest house to here, even if it was a while away. For the first little while I may have been crying, letting it all out where no one could tell. I ran over his words in my head, making myself even more upset.

After the third large puddle I stepped in I decided to focus completely on what I was doing and stop thinking about everything else. Before long, I was soaked right through, and the rain kept coming down harder.

But I didn't care anymore.

I decided to run and jump into a large puddle up ahead. Screaming as I did so, I felt the need to laugh at how silly I must look, jumping in puddles like a crazy person. Before long my mind had completely forgotten everything else in my life except which puddle to jump in next

* * *

><p>Soda's house was in front of me. My smile fading and laughter dyeing away, I realized I would have to face reality and leave my dripping wet wonderland.<p>

With a large huff of breath I headed into the house. I needed warmth.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Hello everyone! So it's been a really long time, huh? I'm sorry about that. I could give you a million excuses for not updating but I'm not going to. The truth is, every time I tried to write I just couldn't, and every time I made myself write it turned out... well, shitty. But I'm back into it now, and I promise I will be updating regularily. I don't know if anyone's still following this, if anyone's still interested, but if there is please review. Let me know what you think of this chapter because Lord know's I've written it like a bazillion times.**

**Oh, and as usual, big thank you to my amazing beta TaylorPaige24!**


	16. Chapter 16 Secret

Chapter Sixteen-Secret

_Watch the sunrise  
>Say your goodbyes<br>Off we go  
>Some conversation<br>No contemplation  
>Hit the road <em>

_I know I don't know you  
>But I want you so bad<br>Everyone has a secret  
>But can they keep it<br>Oh no they can't_

I stood in Dally's scant room at Bucks the next day. He sat on the bed looking across the room at me, his expression as unreadable as ever.

I paced across the floor as I told him about the fight with James, hating the way he would only smirk at the things James said about _him_. He didn't seem to even notice how upset _I _was about it all.

"So, does that mean I 'won'?" he asked, his tone almost mocking. He really didn't take it seriously at all, and I couldn't tell if it was just so he could get a rise out of me or because he really didn't care.

I huffed at him but really didn't know. I had been asking myself that all night. Was this just a fight or were we done? "I don't know. I think maybe I'll wait a couple days to see if he wants to talk or something." I thought aloud.

He had called this morning, James. I had gone to Steve's to get changed and just before I left the phone rang. He didn't say much, only wanted to know if I had gotten home safely last night. I could tell he was still very angry, but he was also still James, and no matter how upset he was, he still cared about me. So I figured it couldn't just be over and wasn't about to tell Dally that it was.

He didn't even reply. He just rolled his eyes and layed back on the bed, clearly bored with this conversation. I never really talk about James around him because it's expected that he won't even listen, but I felt I had to tell him about this.

"Come 'ere," he demanded, not looking at me. His hand motioned for me to come towards him.

I crossed the room to go sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He sat himself up and laid an arm loosely over my shoulders, pulling me into him. As usual, my heart rate picked up and breath hitched as his mouth met mine. I'm beginning to think he'll never stop having this effect on me.

A hand grabbed my hair pushing my head closer to deepen the kiss while the other guided me down onto the bed.

XXX

I woke up alone. Looking around the small familiar room I wondered where Dally had gone.

Slowly, I sat up, pulling the blanket around my chest. Our clothes still sat on the floor. I crinkled my nose at the thought of putting them back on. They were dirty and wrinkled and I might as well hold up a sign that told everyone I hadn't slept in my own bed last night. It was bad enough doing a walk of shame; I also had to consider not being seen by anyone who might get to Steve about it.

Groaning, I decided I would just slip into some of Dally's and try to find some food downstairs for breakfast. That way I could wait until Dally got back so he could give me a ride.

Clinging the blanket to myself, I stepped over to his dresser. There had to be something in there for me to put on.

I opened the first drawer. There were some T-shirts in it. They were poorly folded and probably wrinkled but I didn't care, so long as they were clean.

Reaching in, I felt my fingers brush something hard underneath them. I lifted the shirts to look under and gasped in surprise at the shiny silver gun sitting there.

My mind jumped back to that night in the ally. I shivered and could almost feel that Soc's hands on me again. But once more I felt that curiosity, the wonder of how it would feel to shoot the thing.

Without thinking I reached in and picked it up, feeling the weight of it in my hands. It scared me a little how fascinated I was by this gun.

A thud in the hallway made me jump and I quickly moved to put the gun back. As I looked down at the spot it had been, I was surprised to find a picture there. It didn't have a frame and had a white fold line across it, but my curiosity got to me again.

Sitting the gun down slowly, I picked up the photo instead.

It was a photo of a woman. She stood tall and proud holding a small bundle of something in a blanket I could only assume was a baby. Her eyes were dark, but her smile wide. Her features were small, thin lips and a tiny nose, but she was certainly beautiful. But what I had noticed first was her hair. It was straight, very long, and so blonde it was almost white. I recognized it immediately.

Hoping there would be more information on the back, I flipped the picture over. There wasn't much, the only words written were _me and my baby_, in bold letters. I flipped it back around and ran my fingers over it lightly.

This was my first look into Dally's past. The first hint to finding out more about him. I couldn't put it down, it was too alluring.

"What the hell are you doing?" A shout came from beside me.

I jumped a foot in the air. I hated how quietly he could move around.

"I… uh… was just looking for something to wear," I stuttered out.

His eyes burned with rage and he stood with his body tense.

He didn't speak. I could see him trying to control himself. His fists were clenched and he breathed in deep breaths. He took a large stride and closed the space between us. His hand wrapped around my wrist, squeezing it tightly.

"Drop it." His words seethed through his teeth. His voice was low and dangerous.

I did exactly as I was told and released it, not taking my eyes off him.

Never had I seen him this angry. Never before has he been so angry at me that I felt I really needed to be _afraid_.

I wanted to get away. I wanted to yank my arm out of his grasp and run out of there, away from that blazing glare. But I couldn't. I couldn't even move.

My knees shook and my wrist was beginning to hurt. I had no clue if he was going to say something soon or not but I wished he would let me go.

"Dal…" my voice came out a hoarse whisper, a quiet plea. I suddenly felt like a trapped animal, only able to escape if he allowed it.

Finally he dropped my arm. Hard.

I pulled it in to me as soon as his fingers were gone.

Violently, he slammed the drawer to his dresser shut, the noise making me jump again.

"She was really beautiful," I heard myself say, quietly.

_Why would I say that? Did I have a death wish?_

He got so close to me I could feel his breath on my face. "I'm sick of you snooping around. Sick of you questioning me all the time about everything. If you know what's good for you, you'll mind your own damn business and stay out of mine."

It was an open-ended threat but a threat none the less. I tried to take a step back but he grabbed me again, forcing me to stay where I was.

"Got it?" he demanded.

I tried my best to breathe steady and not look as frightened as I felt but I knew he could see through me.

"What happened to her?" I asked instead of shutting my mouth and nodding like I should have. I don't know why I pushed him, why I wouldn't just leave him the fuck alone, but something inside of me wouldn't let me just back down, just let everything go.

He shoved me backwards forcefully. "What the fuck's wrong with you? Why do you got to push me, huh?" he spoke my thoughts.

I saw the little bit of space between us and took the opportunity to move away from him. I made sure there were a few steps between us before I spoke again.

"Because you can't just hide from your past, Dally. You have to face it sometime." The words just kept coming out, despite the fear I felt. "You can't just live ignoring it forever. It's not healthy."

"What the fuck do you know, anyways?" he shouted.

Surprisingly, I was glad he was yelling. It was better than the death-threat tone he had taken before. Anything was better than that.

"You act like you got it all figured out, like you know everything! Well let me tell you something, you don't know shit! Your just a spoiled little country girl who's biggest worry is about which of the two guys is fucking better! You're a slut!"

I took a step back as though he had hit me. That hurt, and I knew he could see it on my face.

"And you're a coward," I shot back.

"Me? You're calling me a fucking coward?"

"Yes. Because you can't face your past! You're too scared to think about her, your mother. You're too afraid to face reality!"

I saw his jaw twitch and knew that hit him. He wouldn't show it, and wouldn't admit it, but I knew it hurt him, and suddenly, I actually felt bad because what I was saying was true. The way he lived was in fear of facing what follows him around wherever he goes and that's a pretty awful way to live.

"What happened to her, Dally?" I asked again, softly. This time, though, I didn't ask because I wanted to know, I asked because he had to tell. He had to learn to accept his past.

"I don't fucking know!" He stomped towards me again.

I didn't move to get away. I would stay here and push him until he told me, until he broke.

"And you better stop asking so many god-damn questions." His voice became threatening again.

"Dally, just tell me," I whispered.

A loud bang right beside my ear made me jump as he slammed both hands against the wall on either side of my head. For a moment I realized he could hurt me, hit me, beat me.

But I pushed the thought aside. He needed me now, weather he knew it or not, and that was just a risk I would have to take.

"I don't know," he repeated.

This time I knew he wasn't saying it so he wouldn't have to tell me the truth, he was saying it because it was the truth.

"You don't?"

"No! Maybe she took off, couldn't take it anymore. Maybe he made her leave. Maybe he fucking killed her. I don't fucking know!" he screamed. It sounded as though his body just expelled the words rather than him saying them. It was like his mind had wanted to let them out, but not him.

"I'm so sorry, Dal," I whispered looking into his still angry eyes.

"Shut the fuck up," he snapped. "Just… just shut up!"

So I did. I closed my mouth and watched him try to control himself, control his anger.

I didn't know how close he was to snapping, but I figured what he had said was all I was going to get. It was all I was ever going to get.

After what felt like forever, he moved his hand down to my face. He took hold of me by the jaw like an animal, his thumb on one side of my face, his fingers on the other. I could feel the heat of his hand and couldn't help but press my eyebrows together in confusion of what he was doing.

He wasn't holding me hard enough to hurt, but still held me firmly. I couldn't move my head.

All he did was stare as if he were trying to figure something out. As if he just wanted to think of what was right for him to do. What he wanted to do.

He released me and pushed me away from him. "Just get the fuck out."

Realizing for the first time I was still in only a blanket, I collected my clothes as quickly and left the room. I would change in the bathroom down the hall.

I just needed to leave.

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

So again I know it took a while to update, it's been really busy with school and everything. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, I'm so happy to know your still into this story even after I neglected it for so long. She will pick soon, I promise you! What do you think of this chapter, I threw in some Dally's past stuff, trying to keep it interesting. Review and let me know how I did please! Thank you as always to my amazing beta TaylorPaige24!


	17. Chapter 17 Escape

Chapter Seventeen-Escape

_Here's how it goes, you and me, up and down at this time  
>We'll get right, where to fight<br>Cause love is something you can't shake  
>When it breaks<br>All it takes is some trying _

_If you feel like leaving  
>I'm not gonna make you stay<br>Soon you'll be finding  
>You can run, you can hide<br>But you can't escape my love_

I walked slowly up the stairs to the little room I had at Steve's.

Flopping down on the bed, I sighed. The room was for me, but it wasn't _my_ room. Looking at the white walls, I suddenly missed the pale blue of my room. My room at home. Where the light of the sun rising would shine brightly through the window in the mornings. I missed the fresh air of the country and the quiet calmness of it. I missed home.

Laying in bed, I suddenly missed the smell of my mother's perfume and the softness of her voice. I missed it so fiercely I felt like crying right there.

I wandered back downstairs and grabbed the phone, dialing my number and waiting while it rang.

"Hello?" her soft voice came from the other end but it felt like she was miles away.

"Mom?" My voice was quiet and scratchy. I hadn't realized how close to tears I was.

"Honey! What's wrong?" she asked, making me want to cry more. Only my mother can tell how upset I am after hearing only one word.

"Nothing, Mom. Just a hard day, that's all. I really miss you, Mom." I breathed in deeply as a tear managed to escape onto my cheek. I wanted to tell her all about what was happening, how badly I had screwed up. I wished I could just ask her what I should do and she could tell me, but not over the phone.

"Well, why don't you come and visit me sweetheart? I miss you too, you know. It's awfully quiet around here without you," she suggested. I wished she would keep talking; her voice was like music to me.

I thought about it. Dally would be angry at me for at least a few days. Who knew how long James would be mad at me. I was still kind of keeping my distance from Steve, too. I figured there was no reason to stay.

"Okay, only for a few days though," I agreed, happily. "Can I… Can I come tonight?" I asked, suddenly too excited to wait. I was going home!

"Of course, baby! You'll have to leave soon though, I don't want you driving after it gets dark," she told me.

I smiled into the phone. "I'll leave now."

"Okay, love you, see you soon," she said.

"Love you too, Mom."

I ran upstairs and packed the few things I would need as quickly as possible. I ran out the door just as Aunt Ella was coming in. Home for lunch then back to that shabby little restaurant down the street.

"Stacy! Where you going to in such a rush?" she asked, but her tone was friendly.

When I had first shown up I thought she was the nicest person. I thought she was so caring and loving, while at the same time allowing people to have their space. Not too long after, though, I had realized it was all only a show. She smiled that tired smile and spoke in that fake sweet voice only to appear to be a better person than she really was. But when it came down to it, she was just as selfish and rude as Uncle Ron, she was only better at hiding it. When Steve needed her to defend him or help him in any way, she would turn the other way. It didn't matter that he was her only son, she only cared about herself.

"I'm going home for a few days," I told her, not really caring to explain or leave with any more of a goodbye.

"Oh, alright. Well, we'll be here when you get back!" She smiled and stepped aside so I could get out the door. As long as I had been here it still amazed me how much freedom I had to simply come and go as I pleased.

Hopping into my truck, I knew I had to make one more stop before I could get going.

* * *

><p>Luckily for me, when I arrived at Soda's, Steve was also there.<p>

"Hey Stace, what's up?" Soda popped up as I came in.

"I'm going home," I announced, beaming.

"What?" Steve jumped.

"Why?" Soda questioned at the same time.

Realizing they thought I meant for good, I shook my head at them. "Only for a few days, I'll be back before you know it," I explained, both of them relaxing back into their card game. "Steve, if anyone calls for me, can you please let me know?" I asked, worrying I would miss it if James called.

"No problem," he replied, casually.

"Great." I was smiling so wide at the thought of going home I must have looked like a fool.

Soda stood and demanded a hug before I left and Steve followed suit. I hugged them tight then turned to head out the door.

"Drive safe!" I heard Steve call after me.

Then the only thing between me and being home was distance.

* * *

><p>Downing another shot, I slammed my glass back down onto the table.<p>

"Another." I demanded, not even looking up at the bartender.

"James, man, maybe you should slow down a bit. I mean, I know you're upset but I lost count of how many drinks you've had an hour ago," David spoke from beside me.

He's a great friend, and I knew he tried to understand, but he didn't know how bad I was hurting. He had no idea what I was going through.

"No," I said sternly downing my newly refilled glass. I wasn't usually much of a drinker, but I hadn't been able to go out last night and drown my sorrows since I had Tyler with me.

I could see David hesitating, wonder how much more he should let me have. But he wouldn't stop me, and we both knew it. He was a good guy but he didn't like to control other people. He would let me drink as much as I wanted to and simply keep a close eye on me. Besides, I never get violent or do anything too bad when I'm drunk, I'm usually more of the laughing-at-everything-in-sight intoxicated loser. Not tonight though, no, tonight I wouldn't be laughing.

After a little time and many more drinks, I felt his hand on my shoulder. "You want to tell me what happened?" he asked softly. He had waited long enough wondering what exactly she did that was so bad it had me like this.

"She's fucking Dallas Winston," I informed him in a voice that wasn't my own. Just hearing the words out loud again, I gritted my teeth together.

She's fucking Dallas Winston. That asshole. I hated him so strongly it was beyond me. He's the reason shit couldn't work out with Laura, the reason my life is so fucked up now. But that was all in the past.

Until he had to come barging into my life again to fuck everything up.

And then there's Stacy. She seemed so beautiful and compassionate; I should have known it was too good to be true. She even accepted Tyler. In fact, she adored him. I really care about her, more that I can admit. Everything could have been perfect if it weren't for _him_.

"…just unbelievable!" I hadn't realized David was talking beside me. "Do you know what you're going to do?"

All I did was shrug. "Get drunker?"

He chuckled but I could see the concern behind his eyes. "Yeah, okay man."

I don't know how long I stayed there or how much I had to drink, but I did know by the time David convinced me to leave I could barely walk. We had hardly spoken as we sat there, but he stayed next to me the whole time. I really appreciated it too. He was my best buddy and not about to leave me when I needed him.

"Okay, just put your arm over my shoulders," he directed, trying to keep me from falling.

The things around me looked blurry and Dave was half-dragging me out but I still managed to notice someone from the corner of my eye. He looked pretty buzzed and sat on his own. I stopped and Dave looked over at me, probably thinking I'd passed out.

"I got to go talk to 'em," I slurred.

"No, James, were leaving."

"No!" I shouted louder than I had wanted to.

Looking around he sighed. "Fine, who?"

"Him," I said, pointing. David dragged me in the direction I was pointing. When he looked over at us he seemed angry, but didn't move. I pulled away from Dave and focused as hard as I could on walking straight. I think I did a pretty good job too.

He glared at me as I stood in front of him.

"What?" he snapped.

"Me and your cousin, we're done," I told him, hating how stupid my voice sounded when I was drunk.

"Oh yeah?" Steve asked as he finally stopped glaring at me. "Why you telling me 'bout it? Do I care?"

I could tell he did. I could see even through the alcohol he was happy to hear she was 'single'. He treated her like a little sister.

"You might when I tell you why."

He attempted to look like he didn't give a damn about what I was saying, but when his eyes met mine for a brief moment, I could tell he was interested.

"Okay, I'll humor you. Why?" he smirked, taking a drink of his beer.

I promised myself this would be the last time I ever spoke these words. I had heard them too many times in my head to want to hear the aloud ever again.

I smiled a sly smile. This bastard was finally going to get what he deserved. "She's fucking Dallas Winston."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thank you to my amazing beta TaylorPaige24! Big big big thanks to everyone who reviewed, you really make my day. There aren't many chapters left, and I promise I'll update as soon as I can. I know not too much happened in this one, but it's more of a lead-up to all that's going to happen in a few chapters. Please keep reviewing and let me know how I did, what you think will happen or what you want to happen! I really love hearing from you!**


	18. Chapter 18 The House That Built Me

Chapter Eighteen-The House That Built Me

_I thought if I could touch this place or feel it  
>This brokenness inside me might start healing<br>Out here it's like I'm someone else  
>I thought that maybe I could find myself <em>

_If I could just come in I swear I'll leave  
>Won't take nothing but a memory<br>From the house that built me_

The smell of bacon woke me, bringing a sleepy smile to my face.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, throwing my housecoat on around me. I don't usually like waking up early but today was different. Today, I was home.

Heading down the stairs, I smiled still at the boards that creaked, knowing they would. I could hear my mother humming to herself in the kitchen before I turned the corner. I felt like I was a child again.

I knew I hadn't been gone that long, but it still felt like an eternity since I stepped foot into this place. I'd changed and grown so much since the last time I was here.

"Morning baby," my mom greeted as I stepped into the kitchen. She placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and my mouth watered at the smell.

I had arrived late last night but still stayed up well into the night to talk to my mom. I was upset to find out she had taken time off work for me, but it felt good at the same time to know she didn't care about those pay checks enough to miss out on time with her daughter.

"Morning," I greeted.

I spent the entire day with her. We went to the market and hung around the house, but mostly, we talked. I told her about the gang, and how much fun it was to hang around them. I told her about how Mr. And Mrs. Curtis had passed away, even though she hadn't known them. I hesitated before informing her on how living with Aunt Ella was, but she wasn't as surprised as I had expected. Instead, she confessed it was one of the reasons she was so reluctant to let me go there.

She, in turn, told me about the things that were going on around here. How my old friends from around here were and how things were going with her job.

By supper time, we sat at the table knowing each other better than we ever had before. I have always shared things with her but never this much. I felt as though I knew a whole other side to my mother.

Then she brought up the one topic I had been hoping to avoid.

"So, you like any of these boys you been telling me about?" She had a childish glint in her eyes, like a teenage girl looking for juicy gossip.

She got her answer when my cheeks heated up and I shifted down to focus on my food.

"Oh, you do!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Who is it? Is he interested?"

I couldn't help the smile sneaking across my face. She seemed so young when she was like this.

I sat debating with myself if I should tell her or not. Before I could decide she spoke up, making up my mind for me.

"Oh no, what happened?" she asked, thick layers of concern in her voice. "Now you _have_ to tell me!"

I still didn't look at her. I knew I would end up telling her. I knew that from the start. The question was: how do I begin to explain _this_.

"Stacy? Maybe I could help."

Taking a deep breath, I met her eyes again. "Okay." I set my fork down and licked my lips, trying to think over what to say in my mind. "So, I started seeing this guy... and I really liked him, but then we broke up. So then I start seeing this other guy, named James, who's really nice and great and everything else but the thing is the first guy started in on me again. I wasn't really either one of their girl's, not officially anyways. So I kind of ended up seeing both of them. They both knew about it so it wasn't like I was cheating or anything. Then I screwed up real bad with James and now he's mad at me. Things aren't going so smooth with the other guy either and I have to decide who I want to be with and I don't know what to do!" I couldn't even understand myself. Each word came out fast and jumbled up.

She took a sip of her water and took a moment to herself, trying to think before speaking. I knew I left a lot of unanswered questions in my story. Why did we break up? What made James mad at me? Why were things so rough with the other guy? But she asked the last question I wanted to answer.

"Who's the first guy?"

She asked. If I wanted to hear her opinion I would have to be honest.

"Dallas."

I knew she had never met him, but she certainly had heard enough about him. Last time we were there she heard about him. Back then I was afraid of him, and I remember telling her so. I also remember telling her about his record with the police and how angry he could get.

I also knew she remembered all this.

Surprising me again, she didn't get upset to hear I was into Dallas. Instead, she looked me dead in the eye and asked calmly, "has he ever hurt you?"

I thought about how he grabbed me yesterday morning, pushing me into the wall and gripping my wrist as tight as he did. "No." I shook my head, unsure of why I lied.

"Will he ever hurt you?" It was a ridiculous question, asking me to predict the future. But she didn't need a yes or no answer; she needed me to hesitate before answering.

I didn't.

"No." The word came out so easily but my mind still questioned. Would he ever hurt you? There's really no telling with Dallas, but still I felt the answer should be no. Not because of denial, but because I couldn't imagine him ever _really _hitting me.

She quietly collected the dishes and cleaned them up. I helped dry them in silence. When we finished, she lead me out onto the porch. We sat on the two wooden chairs, staring into the darkness at the fields in front of us.

"Who do you like more?" she finally spoke.

"I don't know," I confessed.

"Yes you do."

I didn't reply. I knew she was right. The answer was right in front of me. It was always right in front of me. I just didn't know if I was ready to accept it. Dallas was the one I wasn't able to let go of. The only reason I felt I couldn't get rid of James was because I didn't want to _hurt_ him.

"Thanks, Mom. I'm going to bed."

"No problem. If you need to talk about it some more, just ask. Night."

On that note, I headed inside.

"Stacy?" she called out before the door closed behind me.

"Yeah?"

"If there is any chance he'll hurt you... If you even have to think about it. Then it's not worth it."

I slowly shut the door, not responding. There was nothing to respond to. Nothing at all.

* * *

><p>The sun was high in the sky as I made my way outside. I needed a little time to myself before I went home.<p>

It was that perfect time of year when the fields and trees are a bright green and the sky a beautiful shade of blue. The air made me feel like I could float away. Compared to the smoggy city air it was heaven.

I made my way up the small hill to my tree. It was an extremely large weeping willow. The kind of tree that's branches drooped downwards and its leaves hung low and sad, sad enough for one to actually name it a _weeping_ willow.

To me though, it looked anything but sad. It appeared strong and calm, and when I sat under it I could almost feel protected, its leaves dropping around me like a shield.

I had come there for as long as I could remember. As a child I would lay under it and color. As I got older I would go to write in my diary or clear my head after hearing my parents fight the night before. It was just a huge old tree, but over time it had become _my_ tree.

I sat on the grass. The tree's stump grew out on the ground to create a small circle that was a perfect seat.

Laying my head back against the trunk I let my thoughts settle.

A bird chirped happily above me, and I let myself focus completely on its song. Then I made myself begin to think. I couldn't push the thoughts away any more and needed to at least_ try_ to make a decision.

Dallas was the most immediate thought in my mind, and that alone should have told me who to pick. But I couldn't just choose _him_. It would be like gambling against the odds. There was no way we would work out. We were too opposite - too stubborn.

My mind flew back to the last time I saw him, his eyes on fire and breathing hard. As if it took all his effort not to kill me right then. And his words kept filling my ears. _'You're just a spoiled country girl.'_ Even as he was saying it I knew it was true, compared to him, anyways. Or compared to anyone else in the gang. Money may be a little tight around here since my dad left, but not so tight my mother can't afford to miss a few shifts.

'_Worst problem is deciding which guy she's fucking is better!' _Again, more true than I like to admit. He has problems like finding where his next meal is coming from. In my house there was violence, but I was always treated like a princess. At least my parents love me. Johnny and Steve's parents hate them. Dally's dad hates him, and he doesn't even know what happened to his mother. The Curtis' parents were dead. So maybe I was spoiled and a little too worried about problems that weren't even that big. But what I had said to him was true too; he can't just hide from things.

And even though we were furious and wanted to tear each other's heads off, maybe it could have been a good thing. To have someone around who points out your flaws might actually be good for you. I know I can be good for Dally if I can make him realize he needs to admit to his past. Who knows, maybe he's good for me too. He certainly got me to decide I need to end this going between two guys thing and chose someone already. That had to be good, right?

On the other hand, when my mind finally moved over to James I didn't even know what to think. Even if I did decide to be with him, which I should, he might not even want me. I know it's horrible how much that scared me. This entire time he had been my safety net, the only thing keeping me from being completely lost in Dallas without any way to get out. He's the only thing that allows me to compare what I have with Dally to a normal relationship. And letting him go is like stepping off a ledge.

I stood, my legs tingly from being still so long.

I was still worried, but my mind was more relaxed knowing I had made a decision. It wasn't fair to James to keep him around only to help me when I just couldn't handle Dally anymore.

Not fair at all.

* * *

><p>I was awake yet wanted to stay in my bed and let the morning last forever. As welcoming as the city had been, I didn't want to back and face what waited for me there. I wished I could stay here forever. But that wasn't an option.<p>

I gathered myself up and stepped forward.

I had packed to night before, so I didn't have to bother with it. With a last goodbye look at my room I picked up my suitcase and headed down the stairs.

My mom was ready to make a fuss over me, over how much she would miss me, and I would miss her too, more than she knew.

She pulled me into another tight hug before I stepped into the truck. She whispered to my ear, "I know you'll make the right choice."

"Thanks."

With a smile and a kiss on the cheek I drove out of the driveway and watched the house disappear in the rearview mirror.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Woo Hoo! A hundred reviews! Yayyyyy! Thank you to everyone, this is the first story I have ever gotten to a hundred reviews on so I am so happy! :D I hope you like this chapter, I know there really was not too much drama or action going on, but again, I am leading up to sometime ;) Also, Stacy has been pretty crazy through the whole story, and I felt sending her home to let her clear her head a little was a nice little break for her. Ahaha :P So please review! Tell me what you want to happen or what you think will happen and what you thought of this chapter. Next chapter will be up soon!  
><strong>

**As always, a big thank you to my brilliant beta TaylorPaige24!**


	19. Chapter 19 Try A Little Tenderness

Chapter Nineteen-Try A Little Tenderness

_But the soft words they are spoke so gentle,_  
><em>and it makes it easier to bear.<em>  
><em>Oh, she wont regret it,<em>  
><em>them young girls they dont forget it.<em>  
><em>You've got to hold her, squeeze her,<em>  
><em>never leave her.<em>  
><em>Got to try a little tenderness<em>.

I sat across the table from James, the silence awkward and tense.

I don't know how to tell him, I had expected it to be easy. I thought he would still be furious with me when I got back, I thought he would be glad to be rid of me.

When I got back Aunt Ella had been the only one there. She had informed me that a boy had called for me; several times in fact.

James had been trying to contact me for two days. I wondered what he had to say that could be so urgent. It really couldn't be that important since he never wants to see me again.

Though when I did call and he had told me he would pick me up and take me out to dinner.

So now here we sat, across from each other, waiting for the waitress to bring us our food, wondering what on each is on the other's minds but unwilling to speak our own.

Finally, I decided I'd start. "James-"

"I got to tell you something."

"Okay." The urgency in his voice made me gladly let him go first.

"Don't freak out," he requested softly. "So the other night, I went out with my buddy David, and we were drinking... a lot. And I was still all pissed at you about _Winston_," he spat the name. "And on the way out... I, uh, I ran into your cousin Steve." he trailed off.

"What did you do?" My tone sounded harder than I had expected it to but I was too sure of what he would say next to care.

"I might have told him about you two..." His voice was quiet, and he kept his eyes downwards.

Forgetting I had anything to say to him, I stood abruptly.

"Stace, I'm real sorry," I heard him say.

I didn't have time to say anything to him. I didn't even have time to be mad at him. I had to go find Steve.

* * *

><p>"Steve!" I shouted before I was even through the door.<p>

He came bounding around the corner. I could practically see smoke coming out of his ears. There was a dark blue circle around his eye that I was certain wasn't from his father.

"Stacy! What the hell is the matter with you?" he fumed.

I hadn't seen a car in the driveway so I figured we were home alone, otherwise I would have told him to _cool it._

"What did you do?" I attempted to scream as loudly but his voice was too strong for me to even compare with.

"What do you mean what did I do? Stacy, I told you to stay the hell away from him a long fucking time ago!"

"Damnit, Steve! I don't have to do what _you_ tell me! You aren't my father!" I yelled the first thing that came to mind.

There was a single moment when everything stood still and neither of us spoke.

"You're right, but he ain't around is he? He fucking ran off when he realized you don't listen to a damn thing you're told."

I clenched my jaw and glared at him with all the hatred I could muster. Still, it wasn't enough. He didn't even realize how much that hurt. He didn't know how badly his words cut me.

I screamed something incoherent as I ran at him, pushing him hard against the wall and cussing him out as I swung blindly at him. I knew I was no match for him, but could only hope I could do some damage; hurt him at least a little.

"Fuck! Stop it!" he kept demanding, trying to grab my arms.

Finally, he got hold of one of my wrists and yanked me backwards, away from him.

I could still reach and I pulled back and swung as hard as I could to _try_ and hit him straight in the face….only to fail.

_Smack_.

I lied on the floor, my cheek stinging hard as I put my hand to it. The noise seemed to echo through the now silent room.

I stared up at him only now realizing what had happened.

My cheek throbbed under my fingers. His eyes widened in realization as he stared back at me. His mouth opened but before words could come out I was on my feet and out the door.

I ran down the street as fast as I could, as if I could outrun what just happened. As if I could run fast enough that it wouldn't have happened at all.

Finally, I stopped and I was cold and my face was sore and I could barely breathe through my sobs. I was exhausted from running and wanted to lie down.

I went to the first place I thought of: Buck's.

* * *

><p>Passing through the usual crowd of greasers I tried to go unnoticed. It was actually pretty easy, most of them seemed absorbed in their drinks or girls or poker games to notice the near-hysterical girl with a red handprint on her face. Though, I guess for most of them, a girl passing through who had obviously just had a rough time wasn't rare.<p>

I jogged up the stairs and paused on the outside of Dally's door. I made myself breathe and forced the sobs to stop. I wouldn't go in there a complete mess.

Sliding through the door, I wasn't surprised to find the room pitch black.

"Dal?" I hated the way my voice shook.

"Stacy?" he replied through the darkness, his voice surprising me. "Jesus, you're back. Everything got fucking nuts after you took off. Steve came over here a couple days ago and went bat-shit-fucking-crazy on me. Guess he knows now, huh?"

"I know." My voice was unsteady again making me curse myself in my head. Why can't I just keep my cool like everyone else seems to be able to do?

I could hear him fumbling in the darkness and was blinded by his bedside lamp.

"What the fuck happened to you?" His angry tone shook me.

He stood and came over to me, his hair tousled from sleep. He stared at my cheek, his eyes burning fiercely.

I only bit my lip and refused to answer him.

Why was he angry? Why didn't he just wrap an arm around me and kiss me, letting me know it would be alright?

Because he was Dallas fucking Winston and that meant he wouldn't comfort me when I needed him to. I don't know why I thought he would. Maybe I was delusional.

"Stacy!" he broke me away from my thoughts. "Did Steve do this?"

I wondered how he knew, but still didn't answer. He could read the answer on my face. He mumbled, "that fucker," and took off out the door.

He just left me. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I wanted to shout at him. Tell him how fucked up this is. Try to make him realize I need him here with me, to protect me from my own thoughts. I wanted to yell at him but he was already fucking gone. So now what?

Sighing, I thought through my options. I could go to the Curtis'. They would take care of me and let me stay on their couch. They would fuss over me though and demand to know what happened.

I could go stay in the park like Johnny often did. Hell, maybe he'd even be there and I could talk to him.

I didn't feel like sleeping in the grass.

James. I should go see James. He would let me stay there and I needed to talk to him anyways. I needed to let him know I wasn't mad at him for telling Steve.

He would take care of me. He always has.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Hope everyone(in Canada) had a great Thanksgiving weekend! Well, here it is. The next chapter. I know it was kind of short, sorry about that. But a lot happened in it. :P Thank you all for the reviews! I love hearing from you and would really appreciate some feedback on this chapter because I'm honestly not sure if I'm completely happy with it. Anyways, reveiw and tell me what you think! Thank you as always to TaylorPaige24, my beta who makes every chapter so much better :)**


	20. Chapter 20 I Try

Chapter Twenty-I Try

_I try to say goodbye and I choke, _  
><em>I try to walk away and I stumble, <em>  
><em>Though I try to hide it it's clear, <em>  
><em>My world crumbles when you are not near. <em>

_I may appear to be free, _  
><em>But I'm just a prisoner of your love.<em>

I shuffled my feet below me, hesitating before knocking.

I was so sure I wanted to see him, so sure he would comfort me. What if he wouldn't? What if he was mad at me for storming away from him at the restaurant? I needed him now.

Maybe more than ever before.

My cheek had stopped stinging and was now swollen and numb. I couldn't touch it without having a stinging pain take over my face so I tried to pretend it wasn't there. This was all so screwed up.

Before talking myself down, I knocked on the door.

The door opened quicker than I had expected it to, startling me.

"Stacy?" His surprise to see me wasn't shocking, especially when I looked the way I knew I did. "What happened?"

He stared at me as he opened the door.

I took my time stepping into the apartment. It felt as though I wasn't really there, rather just watching myself. His little apartment seemed so familiar, yet it was different now. I don't know what it was, maybe I was delusional.

"Stace?" he tried again to get me to answer him. His voice was so soft and comforting, with just the right amount of worry in it. It should have made me want to hug him, should have made me feel like he was the most perfect thing in my life when all it did was make me grit my teeth at the knowledge that Dally's voice sounded nothing like that when he had seen me.

He was standing in front of me now, his eyes begging for an answer from me.

"Steve hit me."

As I said it I realized all that _had_ happened. It came crashing down on me. Steve had hit me. I crumpled gracelessly to the floor, sobs racking off my chest as tears fell. "He _hit_ me! I've never been hit before in my life, never. I've only lived in fear of it. And Dallas. Fucking _Dally _didn't care. He didn't give a damn that I needed him with me, that I was practically hysterical. He just took off without even thinking about me. I hate him. I fucking hate him! I hate them both!"

I jumped at the sound of my own voice, yelling loudly even though I hadn't known I was even speaking aloud.

I could feel James beside me, brushing my hair out of my face with his hand and whispering comforting things. I couldn't hear him though.

I was shaking my head fiercely, wishing it would all go away. He pulled me close to him, tucking my head under his chin and letting my head lay against his chest.

My tears continued to crash down, my mouth starting to move again, words tumbling out as if my pain could get out with them.

"It's a lie, it's a fucking lie!"

"What is, baby?" His hand rubbed my back, trying to sooth me.

"Me! I'm a liar! I don't hate them, I don't. I want to. I want to hate them both because they deserve it... They do!"

We sat like that for a long time, or at least it felt like a long time.

My lungs hurt and my throat was sore by the time my sobs turned to gasp-y little breaths. By the time I could breathe evenly my legs were sore from sitting on them and I was sure if I were to move they would tingle, bringing another pain to this.

I pulled my head away from his chest and he stared at me cautiously, waiting for me to burst into tears again. I was done though. If I cried anymore I would be dehydrated.

We stood together, my legs wobbly and painful, as I expected. I fell onto the couch, waiting for him to follow, but he didn't, he stayed standing and turned to the kitchen.

He returned with a glass of water and some ice. I gulped the water hungrily then pressed the ice gently to the side of my face. The coldness of it touching my skin stung, but I didn't move. I didn't flinch.

"Thank you," I finally said with a weak, raspy voice.

He sat beside me, keeping himself at a distance. "How was your trip home?"

I smiled at the out-of-place question. Leave it to James to make me smile at a time like this.

"I decided I wanted to be with Dally," I informed him as casually as if I were telling him the weather.

He didn't seem angry or upset as I had expected, he actually didn't react at all. He only watched me, waiting for me to go on.

"I'm not so sure now."

He sat back on the couch and sighed. "I am."

I nodded, unsure of what he meant.

"Stacy, you can't keep going between me and him."

"I know but-"

He cut me off with a wave of his hand. "Please, hear me out."

I nodded in compliance.

"It kills me to say this, okay? It really kills me, but I'm done. _We're _done. It's not fair for me. I can't sit with you and see you zone out for a minute and know you're thinking about him. I can't watch you fume and cry and go crazy over one simple thing he said and try my best to put you in a better mood even though I know there is no use because your mind is somewhere else. Stacy, I can't be with you anymore, I can't keep fighting for you because you love him."

He took a deep breath and looked away from me, rubbing a hand over his face.

"You love him. You don't know it, but I do. You don't even have to admit it to yourself if you don't want to, but you do love him. There's no other reason for you to even still be with him, for you to put up with that and I can't be the idiot who let himself fall for someone who already belongs to someone else."

I gazed at his smooth face, not knowing what to say.

I could deny it if I want but it all made so much sense I felt it might be true. I couldn't just apologize, it wouldn't make anything better, wouldn't give him back the months he wasted with me. That's exactly what it was, months of my stringing him along so I wouldn't have to realize what Dally and I were. I couldn't feel any worse about myself. How could I do that to him?

How can I have nothing to say to him?

Hadn't I just _two _days ago decided that I wasn't going to use him? I wasn't going to make him be there for me only when Dally wasn't.

Yet, here I was, crying on his shoulder.

I stared at him for a long time and not once did he look back to me. In a way, I was glad he ended it, happy for him because now he was free. Free of me and my fucked up little world.

"I wish he were you," I finally said, only semi-sure I knew what I was saying.

He turned to look at me, confused.

"I mean, I wish it were you I felt this way about..."

"No you don't," he shook his head, "because if it were me, if there was only me and no him, you wouldn't feel that way."

I tried to digest that, but still wasn't sure I knew what he really meant.

"You can stay the night; I'll get you a blanket."

He said nothing else as he moved around, getting me a few things, a pillow, and re-filling my glass of water.

I wished I could tell him we could still be friends, but we both knew that wasn't a good idea. He took such good care of me, but he cared too much about me for me to hang around him. It would only end up with him being hurt. I couldn't do that to him…

Not after everything he'd done for me.

* * *

><p>The sound of a cheerful giggle awoke me. A giggle that was so real and happy it could only come from one person.<p>

I opened my eyes and jumped at Tyler's face being right next to mine.

He giggled and cooed again.

"Stacy!" he shouted, in that way only a toddler can.

"Hey, baby boy." I grinned at him groggily.

I sat up and rubbed my cheek, but immediately regretted it. It was tender, but not as painful as last night. The ice I fell asleep with had melted and soaked the couch and my sleeve.

I frowned at the fabric sticking to my skin.

"Where's your daddy?" I asked Tyler.

He smiled wide and ran to the kitchen, coming back out with James behind him.

I stood, unsure of what I wanted to say to him. I knew I wasn't staying for breakfast; I had over-stayed my welcome already anyways.

"So... this is it." I stated, unsure of what to do.

He nodded, looking as uncomfortable as me.

Finally, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," I whispered to him before letting go and smiling down at Tyler. "Bye, bye, baby boy."

I turned and left, leaving James behind me.

* * *

><p>I wasn't ready to deal with Steve yet. I didn't ever want to <em>deal<em> with him. I never wanted to see him again if it were possible.

I headed to Bucks, hoping Dally would be back in his room by now.

I tried to plan out what I would say to him, but words eluded me.

I had to tell him that James and I are done. I had to yell at him for running off on me last night like he did. What I really need was to know that he wasn't going to hurt me; he wouldn't cheat like he did or do anything any worse as long as I was with him.

Walking into his room, the silence hit me.

The sun shone through the little window making it brighter than what I was used to.

I tried to just lie on his bed, maybe nap or something before he came back but couldn't even shut my eyes.

I considered going out to look for him, but decided against it. I could run into Steve if I went out.

Finally, I stood and did what I had wanted to do since I realized his room was empty.

I pulled the drawer open and dug under his clothes to pull out that picture. I considered looking around for more things, but decided against it. He would probably be mad enough at me for just looking at the picture again.

I sat back down on the bed and studied it. My mind wandered, wondering what happened to her. I knew Dallas' dad was an asshole, I knew that the first time I came here, but would he really kill her? Dally seemed to think so.

The door opened abruptly, but I didn't jump or even look up.

"Will you tell me about her?" I asked, my voice soft and quiet.

"No."

I lifted my head and wasn't surprised to see his left eye bruised.

"Why not?" I tested, wondering why I was talking about this and not the things I had wanted to say.

He snatched the picture out of my hand. "Because it's _my_ business. Not yours."

I bit my lip, wondering if I could push him further. He was angry, but not as angry as I'd expected. His eyes weren't blazing the way they did and his movements seemed more relaxed.

"I went to James' last night," I told him, wondering how long it would take him to freak out.

It was strange seeing him so calm after I did something I knew he didn't want me to do.

"I went to visit Steve." Again, no big reaction.

"What did you do?" I bit my lip harder, all thoughts of what I wanted to say gone.

"Beat his head in," he said, his tone regular. "He's really fucked up, Stacy." He wasn't saying that to brag about the beating he gave him. No, I could tell he meant something else.

"What do you mean?" I pressed.

"He's just... he's tearing himself up. He practically wanted me to beat him to death. He thinks... He thinks he's turning into his old man."

So there it was, the unspoken fear that lie between Steve, Dally, Johnny and even Two-Bit. The last thing they wanted was to be like their fathers.

I was unsure of what to say. I hadn't wanted to talk about Steve. I didn't want to deal with him. Now though, I felt bad for him. How is that fair? I get hit and he's the one I feel bad for?

In the end, he sounded worse off than me.

"James and I are done," I changed the subject, knowing I had to tell him.

"Finally." He smirked, but it was half-hearted. He was staring down at the picture in his hands, and I almost felt as if he didn't know I was there.

"How old were you?"

"Huh?"

I motioned towards the picture. "When you... lost her." I couldn't think of a better way to word it.

He hesitated, and I knew he didn't want to tell me anything. "Six."

Shock hit me, though I was happy-none-the-less.

"Do you remember her?"

"Why do you care?" he finally began the shouting, standing up and putting it back in his dresser, slamming the drawer closed. "It's the past. There are more important things going on. Why does it matter anyways? She's gone now!"

I flinched when he stepped towards me, mentally preparing myself.

He stopped. "Don't look at me like that." His tone hushed.

"Like what?"

"Like you're fucking_ scared_ of me." His jaw clenched and he sat down beside me.

"Well, you're scaring me." I admitted.

"Why? 'Cause I'm mad? You seen me mad before, you never looked that scared!"

"Well things are different now," I mumbled, touching my cheek.

"Fuck. If you don't..." He cut himself off, rubbing a hand over his face. "If you don't know by now that I ain't going to hit you then we ain't going to work out."

My stomach felt funny after those words rolled off his lips. I wondered for a second if he was lying.

No, this is too serious of a topic to lie about.

I realized then that this thing with Steve affected him more than I thought it did, probably as much as it affected me.

_He thinks he's turning into his old man_.

The words replayed through my head and I think he realized that if it could happen to Steve it could happen to_ him_.

I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and neck and finally his lips. "I'm sorry," I whispered against them.

He pressed his lips firmly against mine, making me tremble with anticipation. Strange, how after months of being with him he still had this effect on me. His hands were hot against my skin as he pressed me down onto the bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Thank you to everyone for your reviews! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! So what do you think of this one? Sorry it took me a little while to post it, but I hope you liked it! I'm pretty close to the end now, just wrapping things up a little. Is anyone glad James is finally out of the picture, that she finally picked? Do you think she made the right decision? Please review! I love reading your reviews and hearing what you have to say about it all. :)**

**Thank you to TaylorPaige24, the wonderful beta who helps me put these chapters together! :)**


	21. Chapter 21 Could You Be Loved

Chapter Twenty One-Could You Be Loved

_A-yin the darkness there must come out to light. _

_Could you be loved and be loved? _  
><em>Could you be loved, wo now! - and be loved? <em>

_The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too, _  
><em>So while you point your fingers someone else is judging you.<em>

_Could you be loved and be loved? _  
><em>Could you be loved, wo now! - and be loved? <em>

_Don't let them change ya, oh! - _  
><em>Or even rearrange ya! Oh, no! <em>  
><em>We've got a life to live.<em>

I gnawed on my bottom lip as I stared up at the house. I didn't want to go inside; I didn't want to see him. Not now, not ever. I wasn't scared anymore, but I was still angry.

Dally had walked me over, but it felt to me like I was being forced to go, even though he never actually told me I had to. Even if he had I wouldn't have listened.

His hand pressed firmly into my back, pushing me forwards.

"Dal, I don't want to go," I whispered, finally voicing my thoughts after a long walk.

"Look, just go in and see him, okay? He's really fucked up. Just... go let him know you don't hate his sorry ass."

I shook my head angry at Dally for thinking he could tell me what to do. Angry at Steve for hitting me and angry at myself for actually worrying about him.

"And what if I do?" I said sharply, but it was unconvincing and I knew it.

"You don't."

We both knew I didn't hate Steve. At that moment I wished I _could_ hate him, but I didn't. I don't think I ever would.

Sighing, I let Dally drag me up to the door. He pushed it open and I took a step inside.

A sudden tremor of déjà vu went through my body. I remembered when I first got here, stepping inside, so excited to see Steve and the gang and be on my own in the city. I remembered Dally kissing me and breaking away just in time for Steve not to see. I remembered James walking me to this door and giving me the sweetest peck goodnight. So many good things had happened since I had gotten there, and thinking back on it, my mind felt heavy with exhaustion of worry over the bad.

Taking a few more steps into the house, I realized Dally was no longer by me. I spun around, looking at him as he made his way back down the porch steps.

"You aren't coming with me?" I asked, surprised.

He just shook his head. "I'll be at Darry's when you're done." Then he took off, swaggering down the drive to the sidewalk.

I wondered how he knew I wouldn't just leave after him. How he didn't suspect that after he was gone I would chicken out. But as I stared out the door and considered it, I knew I made it this far and had to get it over with sometime.

Besides, I missed being happy. I missed how things were when I first got here.

The familiar steps creaked, but I didn't pay them any attention. I still didn't want to go see him and nearly turned around left as I stood outside his door.

Before I could I pushed open his bedroom door and stepped inside closing it behind me.

The room reeked of alcohol, making me scrunch my nose. Steve lied face down on the bed, and for a second I thought he was dead.

My heart stopped as a stepped close to him.

He breathed in and let out a long snore, making me sigh in relief. I might be mad at him but I didn't want him dead.

He rolled over, still unconscious, and I could see his face. It was bruised and his lip was cut, no doubt from Dally. His hair was tousled and even in the dark I could see the bags under his eyes. He was shirtless but his jeans were all dirty, like he hadn't changed them in a while.

I began to chew on my lip again as I sat gingerly on the side of his bed.

Should I just go? He wasn't even awake. I could come back later. But I didn't move. I didn't want to.

"Stacy?" Steve croaked from beside me after a long time.

I refused to look at him. I didn't even speak to him. What could I say?

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice quiet and weak. I had never heard him sound so defeated.

"Dallas made me come." I felt him sit up beside me. "I'm not here to forgive you. I ain't ready to forgive you."

I knew it sounded harsh, but it was a lot better than what I had planned to say. I had planned to yell and scream at him, make him feel so guilty it hurt. I couldn't because by the looks of it, he was already doing that to himself, and it only hurt me more to see him like that.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I wouldn't believe you if you did."

I nodded, still refusing to look at him. I could tell that hurt him more than anything, but I couldn't make my eyes meet his, I don't know why, but I just couldn't.

"I am sorry though," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear it.

"I know." It was awkwardly silent for a minute, neither of us sure what to do or say next.

Finally I stood up, turning away from him. "I'm going to go now." There was nothing left for me to say to him. Nothing else I could make myself say to him.

I hesitated in the doorway, though, Dally's words running through my mind. _'He thinks he's turning into his father. He's really fucked up. He's real bad off. Let him know you don't hate him.' _Surely he knew I didn't hate him. Surely he knew I could never hate him. I just wasn't ready to forgive him.

I had almost convinced myself he knew when I heard the quiet, strangled breath come from him. Like he was crying. But no. He couldn't be crying, Steve doesn't cry. I'd never seen him cry before.

I made myself turn around and face him, knowing I would never forgive myself if I just left.

When my eyes found his I realized why I was so afraid to meet them earlier. There was so much pain, and hurt and regret in them I almost ran back to him and hugged him. _Almost_. And they were red-rimmed with un-fallen tears.

I struggled to think of something to say to him as he obviously struggled not to cry. All my life he had been my big cousin who was strong and nothing could break him. Even after a beating from his dad he just lit up a smoke and looked cool as ever.

But here he was, fighting the urge to break down right there.

I wished I could hug him, tell him I loved him and could never hate him. But I couldn't move. So instead I kept my eyes locked with him and told him what Dally had told me to tell him.

"I don't hate you."

He seemed to relax at that, sinking back onto the bed and nodding slightly. I turned and walked out the door, closing it gently behind me.

* * *

><p>The cool wind caressed my face as I walked, pulling my jacket tighter around me. I didn't mind it so much, it was kind of refreshing.<p>

The Curtis' was only about a five minute walk away, but I decided to take a longer route, through the park and around the block. Clearing my head and trying to make myself relax.

Things seemed to finally be falling into place. Eventually I would be able to face Steve again, I would be able to forgive him. As bad as what he had done was, what was even worse was how badly he felt about it. I was certain he wouldn't go through this again.

James was out of my life, and while I missed him, in a way I was glad he was gone. Now he could get on with his own life. And, now that he was gone I wouldn't have to stress over him and Dally anymore. I just hoped he would find someone who would make him happy.

And Dallas. I was his girl…..just like how it was in the beginning of our relationship.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**Wow! I am so sorry to all of you for the long wait! I really am! Things have just really been crazy busy. **

**I am sad to say this is the end of this story. I know! That's awful of me. It really isn't a good ending and I'll admit that. The thing is, though, I'm planning on doing a sequel! :D So keep your eyes open for that. I just really had to end it here because as I'm sure you have all noticed, I have just been too busy to even get on the computer lately. I feel bad when I don't update my story for weeks on end, like something is nagging at me. I just can't get to it though. So, I'm taking a little break. **

**I'm thinking that next semester-since it is way easier than this one- I will probably have more time to write. So I should be back on Fanfic in a few months or so. **

**As for the sequel to this, I don't know when I'm going to do it, I just know I plan on doing one. I have a different story I'd like to write first though, I actually started it already a few months back. Sorry, I'm rambling. Just thought I'd let you all know what I'm up to because I figure if you liked this one you might like my next one :)**

**Anyways, back to this story! I really have to thank you all for so many amazing reviews and support! I love to write, and reading your reviews really makes every chapter feel like an accomplishment. So thank you guys for following the story and giving me so much feedback, this is the first story I've made it to one hundred reviews on and I'm really proud of it, so thank you all for that! :D**

**I also really need to thank my beta, TaylorPaige24. Without her this story would have probably crashed and burned. She really helped me with so much of it! So thanks, for getting me through the writers block and helping me grow so much as a writer!**

**Well, I guess that's it. I don't think I have to remind you how much I would appreciate your reviews on this last chapter. Thanks again to everyone, and I hoped you enjoyed it! :D**


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